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Hknry Fielding 


Printed at The Riverside Press 


Tour candour is desired on the perusal of the 
following sheets, as they are theproduSl of a ge- 
nius that has long been your delight and enter- 
tainment. It must he acknowledged that a lamp 
almost burnt out does not give so steady and uni- 
form a light y as when it blazes in its full vigour; 
but yet it is well known that, by its wavering, as 
if struggling against its own dissolution, it some- 
times darts a ray as bright as ever. In like man- 
ner, a strong and lively genius will, in its last 
struggles, sometimes mount aloft, and throw forth 
the most striking marks of its original lustre. 

Wherever these are to be found, do you, the gen- 
uine patrons of extraordinary capacities, he as lib- 
eral in your applauses of him who is now no more, 
as you were of him whilst he was yet amongst 
you. And, on the other hand, if in this little work 
there should appear any traces of a weaken d and 
decayed life, let your own imaginations place be- 
fore your eyes a true picture, in that of a hand 
trembling in almost its latest hour, of a body ema- 
ciated with pains, yet struggling for your enter- 

I 5 :i 


tainment ; and let this affedting picture open each 
tender heart, and call forth a melting tear, to blot 
out whatever failings may he found in a work he- 
gun in pain, and finished almost at the same pe- 
riod with life. 

It was thought proper, hy the friends of the de- 
ceased, that this little piece should come into your 
hands as it came from the hands of the author; it 
heing judged that you would he hetter pleased 
to have an opportunity of observing the faintest 
traces of a genius you have long admired, than 
have it patched hy a different hand; hy which 
means the marks of its true author might have 
heen effacd. 

That the success of this last written, tho' first 
published volume, of the authors posthumous 
pieces, may he attended with some convenience to 
those innocents he hath left behind, will, no doubt, 
he a motive to encourage its circulation through 
the kingdom, which will engage every future ge- 
nius to exert itself for your pleasure. 

I 6 -] 



There would not, perhaps, be a more plea- 
sant, or more profitable Study, among those 
which have their principal end in amusement, 
than that of travels or voyages, if they were 
writ, as they might be, and ought to be, wdth a 
joint view to the entertainment and informa- 
tion of mankind. If the conversation of travel- 
lers be so eagerly sought after as it is, we may 
believe their books will be Slill more agreeable 
company, as they will, in general, be more in- 
§lru6live and more entertaining. 

But when I say the conversation of travel- 
lers is usually so welcome, I mu5l be under- 
Stood to mean that only of such as have had 
good sense enough to apply their peregrina- 
tions to a proper use, so as to acquire from 
them a real and valuable knowledge of men 
and things ; both which are be§l known by 
comparison. If the cuSloms and manners of 
men were every where the same, there would 
be no office so dull as that of a traveller : for 
the difference of hills, valleys, rivers ; in short, 
the various views in which we may see the face 

C 9 ] 


of the earth, would scarce afford him a plea- 
sure worthy of his labour; and surely it would 
give him very little opportunity of communi- 
cating any kind of entertainment or improve- 
ment to others. 

To make a traveller an agreeable compan- 
ion to a man of sense, it is necessary, not only 
that he should have seen much, but that he 
should have overlooked much of what he hath 
seen. Nature is not, any more than a great 
genius, always admirable in her produ6lions, 
and therefore the traveller, who may be called 
her commentator, should not expe6l to find 
every where subje6ls worthy of his notice. 

It is certain, indeed, that one may be guilty 
of omission as well as of the opposite extreme: 
but a fault on that side will be more easily 
pardoned, as it is better to be hungry than 
surfeited, and to miss your dessert at the ta- 
ble of a man whose gardens abound v^th the 
choicest fruits, than to have your taSle af- 
fronted wdth every sort of trash that can be 
picked up at the green-Slall, or the wheel- 

If we should carry on the analogy between 
the traveller and the commentator, it is im- 


possible to keep one's eye a moment off from 
the laborious much readdo6lor Zachary Grey, 
of whose redundant notes on Hudibras I shall 
only say, that it is, I am confident, the sin- 
gle book extant in which above five hundred 
authors are quoted, not one of which could 
be found in the colle6lion of the late do6lor 

As there are few things which a traveller is 
to record, there are fewer on which he is to 
oflfer his observations : this is the office of the 
reader, and it is so pleasant a one, that he sel- 
dom chuses to have it taken from him, under 
the pretence of lending him assistance. Some 
occasions, indeed, there are, when proper ob- 
servations are pertinent, and others when they 
are necessary; but good sense alone mu§l point 
them out. I shall lay down only one general 
rule, which I believe to be of universal truth be- 
tween relator and hearer, as it is between au- 
thor and reader ; this is, that the latter never 
forgive any observation of the former which 
doth not convey some knowledge that they are 
sensible they could not possibly have attained 
of themselves. 

But all his pains in coUefting knowledge. 


all his judgment in sele6ling, and all his art in 
communicating it, willnot suffice, unless he can 
make himself, in some degree, an agreeable, 
as well as an in§lru6live companion. The 
higheSl in§lru6tion we can derive from the te- 
dious tale of a dull fellow scarce ever pays us 
for our attention. There is nothing, I think, 
half so valuable as knowledge, and yet there 
is nothing which men will give themselves so 
little trouble to attain ; unless it be, perhaps, 
that loweSl degree of it which is the obje6l of 
curiosity, and which hath therefore that active 
passion constantly employed in its service. 
This, indeed, it is in the power of every travel- 
ler to gratify ; but it is the leading principle in 
weak minds only. 

To render his relation agreeable to the man 
of sense, it is therefore necessary that the voy- 
ager should possess several eminent and rare 
talents ; so rare, indeed, that it is almost won- 
derful to see them ever united in the same 

And if all these talents muSt concur in the 
relator, they are certainly in a more eminent 
degree necessary to the writer : for here the 
narration admits of higher ornaments of Stile, 

C 12 3 


and every fa6l and sentiment offers itself to 
the fuUeSl and moSl deliberate examination. 

It would appear therefore, I think, some- 
what Strange, if such writers as these should 
be found extremely common ; since nature 
hath been a mo§l parsimonious diiSlributer of 
her richeSl talents, and hath seldom beSlowed 
many on the same person. But on the other 
hand, why there should scarce exiiSl a single 
writer of this kind worthy our regard ; and 
whilst there is no other branch of hiSlory (for 
this is history) which hath not exercised the 
greatest pens, why this alone should be over- 
looked by all men of great genius and erudi- 
tion, and delivered up to the Goths and Vandals 
as their lawful property, is altogether as diffi- 
cult to determine. 

And yet that this is the case, vvdth some 
very few exceptions, is moSt manifeSt. Of 
these I shall v^Uingly admit Burnet and Ad- 
dison ; if the former was not perhaps to be 
considered as a political essayiSt, and the lat- 
ter as a commentator on the classics, rather 
than as a writer of travels ; which laSt title 
perhaps they would both of them have been 
leaSt ambitious to afFe6t. 

c 13 :i 


Indeed if these two, and two or three more, 
should be removed from the mass, there would 
remain such a heap of dulness behind, that 
the appellation of voyage- writer would not 
appear very desirable. 

I am not here unapprized that old Homer 
himself is by some considered as a voyage- 
v^iter ; and indeed the beginning of his Odys- 
sey may be urged to countenance that opinion, 
which I shall not controvert. But whatever 
species of writing the Odyssey is of, it is surely 
at the head of that species, as much as the 
Iliad is of another ; and so far the excellent 
Longinus would allow, I believe, at this day. 

But, in reality, the Odyssey, the Telema- 
chus, and all of that kind, are to the voyage- 
writing I here intend, what romance is to true 
hi§lory, the former being the confounder and 
corrupter of the latter. I am far from sup- 
posing, that Homer, Hesiod, and the other an- 
tient poets and mythologiSls, had any settled 
design to pervert and confuse the records of 
antiquity ; but it is certain they have effefted 
it ; and, for my part, I muSl confess I should 
have honoured and loved Homer more had he 
written a true hi§lory of his own times in hum- 

i: 14 ;] 


ble prose, than those noble poems that have 
so justly colle6led the praise of all ages ; for 
though I read these with more admiration and 
aSlonishment, I Slill read Herodotus, Thucy- 
dides and Xenophon, with more amusement 
and more satisfa6lion. 

The original poets were not, however, with- 
out excuse. They found the limits of nature 
too Strait for the immensity of their genius, 
which they had not room to exert, without 
extending fa6l by fi6lion ; and that especially 
at a time when the manners of men were too 
simple to afford that variety, which they have 
since offered in vain to the choice of the mean- 
est writers. In doing this, they are again ex- 
cusable for the manner in which they have 
done it, 

Ut speciosa dehinc miracula promant. 

They are not indeed so properly said to turn 
reality into fiftion, as fiftion into reality. Their 
paintings are so bold, their colours so Strong, 
that every thing they touch seems to exi§l in 
the very manner they represent it : their por- 
traits are so ju§l, and their landscapes so beau- 
tiful, that we acknowledge the Strokes of na- 

c 15 n 


ture in both, without enquiring whether nature 
herself, or her journeyman the poet, formed 
the firSl pattern of the piece. 

But other writers ( I will put Pliny at their 
head ) have no such pretensions to indulgence : 
they lye for lying's sake, or in order insolently 
to impose the mo§l monSlrous improbabilities 
and absurdities upon their readers on their own 
authority; treating them as some fathers treat 
children, and as other fathers do lay-men, ex- 
afting their belief of whatever they relate, on 
no other foundation than their own authority, 
without ever taking the pains of adapting their 
lies to human credulity, and of calculating 
them for the meridian of a common under- 
Standing ; but with as much weakness as wick- 
edness, and with more impudence often than 
either, they assert fafts contrary to the honour 
of God, to the visible order of the creation, to 
the known laws of nature, to the hi§lories of 
former ages, and to the experience of our ovm, 
and which no man can at once understand and 

If it should be objefted ( and it can no where 
be obje6led better than where I now write,* 

* At Lisbon. 
C 16 ] 


as there is no where more pomp of bigotry) 
that whole nations have been firm behevers 
in such moSl absurd suppositions ; I reply, the 
fa6l is not true. They have known nothing of 
the matter, and have believed they knew not 
what. It is, indeed, v^th me no matter of doubt, 
but that the pope and his clergy might teach 
any of those Christian Heterodoxies, the tenets 
of which are the moSl diametrically opposite to 
their ovm ; nay, all the do6lrines of Zoroaster, 
Confucius, and Mahomet, not only with certain 
and immediate success, but wdthout one catho- 
lick in a thousand knowing he had changed his 

What motive a man can have to sit down, 
and to draw forth a li§l of Stupid, senseless, in- 
credible lies upon paper, would be difficult to 
determine, did not Vanity present herself so 
immediately as the adequate cause. The van- 
ity of knowing more than other men is, per- 
haps, besides hunger, the only inducement to 
writing, at leaSl to publishing, at all : why then 
should not the voyage- v^iter be inflamed with 
theglory of having seen what no man ever did 
or v^U see but himself ? This is the true source 
of the wonderful, in the discourse and v^itings. 


and sometimes, I believe, in the aftions of men. 
There is another fault of a kind dire6tly op- 
posite to this, to which these writers are some- 
times liable, when,inSlead of filling their pages 
with monsters which no body hath ever seen, 
and with adventures which never have nor 
could possibly have happened to them, they 
waSle their time and paper wdth recording 
things and fafts of so common a kind, that they 
challenge no other right of beingremembered, 
than as they had the honour of having hap- 
pened to the author, to whom nothing seems 
trivial that in any manner happens to himself. 
Of such consequence do his own aftions ap- 
pear to one of this kind, that he would prob- 
ably think himself guilty of infidelity, should 
he omit the minuteSl thing in the detail of his 
journal. That the fa6l is true, is sufficient to 
give it a place there, without any considera- 
tion whether it is capable of pleasing or sur- 
prising, of diverting or informing the reader. 
I have seen a play (if I mii§lakenot,it is one 
of Mrs. Behn's, or of Mrs. Centlivre's) where 
this vice in a voy age- writer is finely ridiculed. 
An ignorant pedant, to whose government, for 
I know not what reason, the condu6t of a young 

c 18 :] 


nobleman in his travels is committed, and who 
is sent abroad to shew My Lord the world, of 
which he knows nothing himself, before his de- 
parture from a town, calls for his journal, to re- 
cord the goodness of the wine and tobacco, with 
other articles of the same importance, which 
are to furnish the materials of a voyage at his 
return home. The humour, it is true, is here 
carried very far ; and yet, perhaps, very little 
beyond what is to be found in writers who pro- 
fess no intention of dealing in humour at all. 

Of one or other or both of these kinds are, 
I conceive, all that vaSl pile of books which 
pass under the names of voyages, travels, ad- 
ventures, lives, memoirs, hiSlories, &c., some 
of which a single traveller sends into the world 
in many volumes, and others are, by judicious 
booksellers, coUefted into va§l bodies in folio, 
and inscribed with their own names, as if they 
were indeed their own travels ; thus unjuSlly 
attributing to themselves the merit of others. 

Now from both these faults we have endea- 
voured to Sleer clear in the following narrative : 
which, however the contrary may be insinu- 
ated by ignorant, unlearned, and fresh- water 
critics, who have never travelled either in books 


or ships, I do solemnly declare doth, in my 
own impartial opinion, deviate less from truth 
than any other voyage extant ; my lord An- 
son's alone being, perhaps, excepted. 

Some few embellishments muiSl be allowed 
to every historian : for we are not to conceive 
that the speeches in Livy, SalluSl, or Thucydi- 
des, were literally spoken in the very words in 
which we now read them. It is sufficient that 
every fact hath its foundation in truth, as I do 
seriously aver is the case in the ensuing pages ; 
and when it is so, a good critic will be so far 
from denying all kind of ornament of §lile or 
diftion, or even of circumstance to his author, 
that he would be rather sorry if he omitted it: 
for he could hence derive no other advantage 
than the loss of an additional pleasure in the 

Again, if any merely common incident 
should appear in this journal, which will sel- 
dom,! apprehend, be the case, the candid reader 
will easily perceive it is not introduced for its 
ovm sake, but for some observations and re- 
flexions naturally resulting from it; and which, 
if but little to his amusement, tend dire6lly to 
the in§lru6lion of the reader, or to the informa- 

L 20 :} 


tion of the public; to whomif Ichuse to convey 
such in§lru6lion or information with an air of 
joke and laughter, none but the duUeSl of fel- 
lows will, I believe, censure it ; but if they 
should, I have the authority of more than one 
passage in Horace to alledge in my defence. 
Having thus endeavoured to obviate some 
censures to which a man, v^thout the gift of 
fore-sight, or any fear of the imputation of be- 
ing a conjurer, might conceive this work would 
be liable, I might now undertake a more pleas- 
ing task, and fall at once to the dire6l and pos- 
itive praises of the work itself; of which in- 
deed I could say a thousand good things : but 
the task is so very pleasant that I shall leave it 
wholly to the reader ; and it is all the task that 
I impose on him. A moderation for which he 
may think himself obliged to me, when he com- 
pares it v^th the condu6l of authors, who of- 
ten fill a whole sheet with their own praises, to 
which they sometimes set their own real names, 
and sometimes a fiftitious one. One hint, how- 
ever, I mu§l give the kind reader ; which is, that 
if he should be able to find no sort of amuse- 
ment in the book, he will be pleased to re- 
member the public utility which will arise 

n 21 ] 


from it. If entertainment, as Mr. Richardson 
observes, be but a secondary consideration in 
a romance ; with which Mr. Addison I think 
agrees, affirming the use of the paSlry-cook to 
be the firSl ; if this, I say, be true of a mere 
work of invention, sure it may well be so con- 
sidered in a work founded, like this, on truth ; 
and where the political refleftions form so dis- 
tinguishing a part. 

But perhaps I may hear, from some critic of 
the mo§l saturnine complexion, that my vanity 
mu§l have made a horrid dupe of my judg- 
ment, if it hath flattered me with an expe6ta- 
tion of having any thing here seen in a grave 
light, or of conveying any useful in§lru6lion to 
the public, or to their guardians. I answer with 
the great man, whom I juiSl now quoted, that 
my purpose is to convey in§lru6lion in the ve- 
hicle of entertainment ; and so to bring about 
at once, like the revolution in the Rehearsal, a 
perfe6l reformation of the laws relating to our 
maritime affairs : an undertaking, I will not say 
more mode§l, but surely more feasible, than 
that of reforming a whole people, by making 
use of a vehicular story, to wheel in among 
them worse manners than their own. 

C 22 ] 


In the beginning of AuguSl, 1753, when I had 
taken the Duke of Portland's medicine, as it is 
called, near a year, the efFe6ts of which had 
been the carrying off the symptoms of a lin- 
gering imperfe6l gout, I was persuaded by Mr. 
Ranby, the King's premier serjeant-surgeon, 
and the ableSl advice, I believe, in all branches 
of the physical profession, to go immediately to 
Bath. I accordingly writ that verynight toMrs. 
Bowden, who, by the next poSl, informed me 
she had taken me a lodging for a month certain. 
Within a few days after this, whilSl I was 
preparing for my journey, and when I was al- 
most fatigued to death with several long ex- 
aminations, relating to five different murders, 
all committed within the space of a week, by 
different gangs of Street robbers, I received a 
message from his Grace the Duke of New- 
castle, by Mr. Carrington, the King's messen- 
ger, to attend his Grace the next morning, in 
Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon some business of im- 
portance ; but I excused myself from comply- 
ing with the message, as, besides being lame, I 

I 23 2 


was very ill with the great fatigues I had lately 
undergone added to my di§lemper. 

His Grace, however, sent Mr. Carrington, 
the very next morning, with another sum- 
mons ; with which, though in the utmost dis- 
tress, I immediately complied ; but the Duke, 
happening, unfortunately for me, to be then 
particularly engaged, after I had waited some 
time, sent a gentleman to discourse with me 
on the beSl plan which could be invented for 
putting an immediate end to those murders and 
robberies which were every day committed in 
the streets : upon which, I promised to transmit 
my opinion, in writing, to his Grace, who, as 
the gentleman informed me, intended to lay 
it before the privy council. 

Tho' this visit co§l me a severe cold, I, not- 
withstanding, set myself down to work, and 
in about four days sent the Duke as regular a 
plan as I could form, with all the reasons and 
arguments I could bring to support it, drawn 
out in several sheets of paper ; and soon re- 
ceived a message from the Duke, by Mr. Car- 
rington, acquainting me, that my plan was 
highly approved of, and that all the terms of 
it would be complied with. 

C 24 3 


The principal and mo§l material of those 
terms was the immediately depositing £600 
in my hands ; at which small charge I under- 
took to demolish the then reigning gangs, and 
to put the civil policy into such order, that no 
such gangs should ever be able, for the future, 
to form themselves into bodies, or at lea§l to 
remain any time formidable to the public. 

I had delayed my Bath journey for some 
time, contrary to the repeated advice of my 
physical acquaintance, and to the ardent desire 
of my warmest friends, tho' my diSlemperwas 
now turned to a deep jaundice; in which case 
the Bath- waters are generally reputed to be 
almo§l infallible. But I had the moSl eager 
desire of demolishing this gang of villains and 
cut-throats, which I was sure of accomplishing 
the moment I was enabled to pay a fellow who 
had undertaken, for a small sum, to betray 
them into the hands of a set of thief-takers 
whom I had enli§led into the service, all men 
of knovm and approved fidelity and intrepidity. 

After some weeks the money was paid at the 
Treasury, and within a few days after ^£200 
of it had come to my hands the whole gang of 
cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of 

C 25 ;] 


them were in aftual cuiSlody, and the reiSl 
driven, some out of town, and others out of the 

Tho' my health was now reduced to the laSl 
extremity, I continued to aft with the utmo§l 
vigour againSl these villains ; in examining 
whom, and in taking the depositions againSl 
them, I have often spent whole days, nay some- 
times whole nights, especially when there was 
any difficulty in procuring sufficient evidence 
to convi6l them ; which is a very common case 
in Slreet-robberies, even when the guilt of the 
party is sufficiently apparent to satisfy the mo§l 
tender conscience. But courts of justice know 
nothing of a cause more than what is told them 
on oath by a wdtness ; and the moSl flagitious 
villain upon earth is tried in the same manner 
as a man of the be§l chara6ler, who is accused 
of the same crime. 

Meanwhile, amidSl all my fatigues and dis- 
tresses, I had the satisfa6lion to find my en- 
deavours had been attended v^th such success, 
that this hellish society were almoSl utterly ex- 
tirpated, and that, inSlead of reading of mur- 
ders and Slreet-robberies in the news, almo§l 
every morning, there was, in the remaining 
C 26 ] 


part of the month of November, and in all 
December, not only no such thing as a mur- 
der, but not even a Slreet-robbery committed. 
Some such, indeed, v^ere mentioned in the pub- 
lic papers ; but they w^ere all found, on the 
§lri6le§l enquiry, to be false. 

In this entire freedom from Slreet-robberies, 
during the dark months, no man will, I believe, 
scruple to acknowledge, that the winter of 
1753 Stands unrival'd, during a course of many 
years ; and this may possibly appear the more 
extraordinary to those who recoUeft the out- 
rages wdth which it began. 

Having thus fully accomplished my under- 
taking, I went into the country in a very weak 
and deplorable condition, v^th no fewer or less 
diseases than a jaundice, a dropsy, and an aSlh- 
ma, altogether uniting their forces in the de- 
§lru6lion of a body so entirely emaciated, that 
it had lo§l all its muscular flesh. 

Mine was now no longer what is called a 
Bath case; nor, if it had been so, had I iSlrength 
remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of six 
miles only being attended with an intolerable 
fatigue. I now discharged my lodgings at Bath, 
which I had hitherto kept. I began, in earnest, 

c 27 •} 


to look on my case as desperate, and I had van- 
ity enough to rank myself with those heroes 
who, of old times, became voluntary sacrifices 
to the good of the public. 

But, leSl the reader should be too eager to 
catch at the word -uW/y, and should be unwill- 
ing to indulge me with so sublime a gratifica- 
tion, for I think he is not too apt to gratify 
me, I will take my key a pitch lower, and wall 
frankly own that I had a Stronger motive than 
the love of the public to push me on : I will 
therefore confess to him, that my private affairs 
at the beginning of the wdnter had but a gloomy 
aspeft; for I had not plundered the public or 
the poor of those sums which men, who are al- 
ways ready to plunder both as much as they 
can, have been pleased to suspeft me of tak- 
ing : on the contrary, by composing, inSlead of 
inflaming, the quarrels of porters and beggars 
(which I blush when I say hath not been uni- 
versally praftised) and by refusing to take a 
shilling from a man who moSl undoubtedly 
would not have had another left, I had reduced 
an income of about ^^5 o o * a year of the dirtieSl 

* A predecessor of mine used to boast that he made 
;£'iooo a year in his office : but how he did this, if indeed 

C 28 ^ 


money upon earth, to little more than afisoo ; 
a considerable proportion of which remained 
with my clerk ; and indeed if the whole had 
done so, as it ought, he would be but ill paic^for 

he did it, is to me a secret. His clerk, now mine, told me 
I had more business than he had ever known there ; I am 
sure I had as much as any man could do. The truth is, the 
fees are so very low, when any are due, and so much is done 
for nothing, that if a single justice of peace had business 
enough to employ twenty clerks, neither he nor they would 
get much by their labour. The public will not therefore, I 
hope, think I betray a secret when I inform them, that I 
received from the government a yearly pension out of the 
public service-money ; which I believe indeed would have 
been larger, had my great patron been convinced of an error, 
which I have heard him utter more than once. That he 
could not indeed say, that the, acting as a principal justice 
of peace in Westminster was on all accounts very desira- 
ble, but that all the world knew it was a very lucrative 
ojffice. Now to have shewn him plainly, that a man must 
be a rogue to make a very little this way, and that he could 
not make much by being as great a rogue as he could be, 
would have required more confidence than I believe he had 
in me, and more of his conversation than he chose to allow 
me ; 1 therefore resigned the office, and the farther execu- 
tion of my plan to my brother, who had long been my as- 
sistant. And now, lest the case between me and the reader 
should be the same in both instances as it was between me 
and the great man, I will not add another word on the sub- 

C 29 3 


sitting almoSl sixteen hours in the twenty- four, 
in the mo§t unwholesome, as well as nauseous 
air in the universe, and which hath in his case 
corrupted a good constitution without contam- 
inating his morals. 

But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, 
contrary to my own rule laid down in my pre- 
face, I assure him I thoughtmy family was very 
slenderly provided for; and that my health be- 
gan to decline so faSl, that I had very little more 
of life left to accomplish what I had thought of 
too late. I rejoiced therefore greatly in seeing 
an opportunity, as I apprehended, of gaining 
such merit in the eye of the public, that if my 
life were the sacrifice to it, my friends might 
think they did a popular aft in putting my fam- 
ily at lea§l beyond the reach of necessity, which 
I myself began to despair of doing. And tho' 
I disclaim all pretence to that Spartan or Ro- 
man patriotism, which loved the public so well 
that it was always ready to become a voluntary 
sacrifice to the public good, I do solemnly de- 
clare I have that love for my family. 

After this concession therefore, that the pub- 
lic was not the principal Deity to which my life 
was offered a sacrifice, and when it is farther 

c 30 3 


considered what a poor sacrifice this was, be- 
ing indeed no other than the giving up what I 
sawhttle likehhoodof being able to hold much 
longer, and which, upon the terms I held it, no- 
thing but the weakness of human nature could 
represent to me as worth holding at all ; the 
world may, I believe, v^thout envy, allow me 
all the praise to which I have any title. 

My aim, in fa6l, was not praise, which is the 
la§l gift they care to beSlow; at leaSl this was 
not my aim as an end, but rather as a means, 
of purchasing some moderate provision for my 
family, which, tho' it should exceed my merit, 
mu§l fall infinitely short of my service, if I suc- 
ceeded in my attempt. 

To say the truth, the public never aft more 
wisely, than when they a6l mo§l liberally in 
the diiftribution of their rewards ; and here the 
good they receive is often more to be consid- 
ered than the motive from which they receive 
it. Example alone is the end of all public pun- 
ishments and rewards. Laws never inflift dis- 
grace in resentment, nor confer honour from 
gratitude. For it is very hard, my lord, said a 
convifted felon at the bar to the late excellent 
judge Burnet, to hang a poor man for Stealing 

C 31 3 


a horse. You are not to be hanged. Sir, an- 
swered my ever-honoured and beloved friend, 
for Stealing a horse, but you are to be hanged 
that horses may not be Stolen. In like man- 
ner it might have been said to the late duke 
of Marlborough, v^hen the parliament was so 
deservedly liberal to him, after the battle of 
Blenheim, You receive not these honours and 
bounties on account of a vi6lory paSl, but that 
other vi6lories may be obtained. 

I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying 
of a complication of disorders; and, were I de- 
sirous of playing the advocate, I have an occa- 
sion fair enough : but I disdain such an attempt. 
I relate fafts plainly and simply as they are ; 
and let the world draw from them what con- 
clusions they please, taking with them the fol- 
lowing fa6ls for their inSlruftion. The one is. 
That the proclamation offering ^loo for the 
apprehending felons for certain felonies com- 
mitted in certain places, which I prevented 
from being revived, had formerly coSl the gov- 
ernment several thousand pounds wdthin a sin- 
gle year. Secondly, That all such proclama- 
tions, inSlead of curing the evil, had aftually 
increased it ; had multiplied the number of rob- 

C 32 ;] 


beries ; had propagated the wor§l and wicked- 
est of perjuries ; had laid snares for youth and 
ignorance ; which, by the temptation of these 
rewards, had been sometimes drawn into guilt ; 
and sometimes, which cannot be thought on 
without the higheSl horror, had destroyed them 
without it. Thirdly, That my plan had not put 
the government to more than ^300 expence, 
and had produced none of the ill consequences 
above-mentioned ; but, laSlly, Had aftually 
suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly 
pointed out the means of suppressing it for 
ever. This I would myself have undertaken, 
had my health permitted, at the annual expence 
of the above-mentioned sum. 

After having Stood the terrible six weeks 
end, if they had knovm their own interests, to 
such numbers of aged and infirm valetudina- 
rians, who might have gasped through two or 
three mild winters more, I returned to tovm in 
February, in a condition less despaired of by 
myself than by any of my friends. I now be- 
came the patient of Dr. Ward, who washed I 
had taken his advice earlier. 

By his advice I was tapped, and fourteen 

I 33 -] 


quarts of water drawn from my belly. The 
sudden relaxation which this caused, added to 
my enervate, emaciated habit of body, so weak- 
ened me, that within two days I was thought 
to be falling into the agonies of death. 

I was at the worSl on that memorable day 
when the public loSl Mr. Pelham. From that 
day I began slowly, as it were, to draw my feet 
out of the grave ; till in two months time I had 
again acquired some little degree of Strength; 
but was again full of water. 

During this whole time, I took Mr. Ward's 
medicines, which had seldom any perceptible 
operation. Those in particular of the diapho- 
retic kind, the working of which is thought to 
require a great Strength of constitution to sup- 
port, had so little effeft on me, that Mr. Ward 
declared it was as vain to attempt sweating me 
as a deal board. 

In this situation I was tapped a second time. 
I had one quart of water less taken from me 
now than before ; but I bore all the conse- 
quences of the operation much better. This I 
attributed greatly to a dose of laudanum pre- 
scribed by my surgeon. It firSl gave me the 

C 34 3 


moSl delicious flow of spirits, and afterwards 
as comfortable a nap. 

The month of May, which was now begun, 
it seemed reasonable to expe6l would introduce 
the spring, and drive off that winter which yet 
maintained its footing on the Slage. I resolved 
therefore to visit a little house of mine in the 
country, which Stands at Ealing, in the county 
of Middlesex, in the beSl air, I believe, in the 
whole kingdom, and far superior to that of 
Kensington Gravel-Pits ; for the gravel is here 
much wider and deeper, the place higher and 
more open towards the south, whilSl it is guard- 
ed from the north wind by a ridge of hills, and 
from the smells and smoke of London by its 
distance ; which la§l is not the fate of Kensing- 
ton, when the wind blows from any corner of 
the eaSl. 

Obligations to Mr. Ward I shall always con- 
fess ; for I am convinced that he omitted no care 
in endeavouring to serve me, without any ex- 
pe6lation or desire of fee or reward. 

The powers of Mr. Ward's remedies want 
indeed no unfair puffs of mine to give them 
credit; and tho' this diSlemper of the dropsy 

C 35 3 


glands, I believe, fir§l in the li§l of those over 
which he is always certain of triumphing; yet, 
possibly, there might be something particular in 
my case, capable of eluding that radical force 
which had healed so many thousands. The 
same diSlemper, in different coniSlitutions, may 
possibly be attended with such different symp- 
toms, that to find an infallible no§lrum for the 
curing any one distemper in every patient, may 
be almo§l as difficult as to find a panacea for the 
cure of all. 

But even such a panacea one of the greatest 
scholars and beSl of men did lately apprehend 
he had discovered. It is true, indeed, he was 
no physician ; that is, he had not by the forms 
of his education acquired a right of applying his 
skill in the art of physic to his own private ad- 
vantage ; and yet, perhaps, it may be truly as- 
serted, that no other modern hath contributed 
so much to make his physical skill useful to the 
public ; at lea§l, that none hath undergone the 
pains of communicating this discovery in writ- 
ing to the world. The reader, I think, will 
scarce need to be informed that the writer I 
mean is the late bishop of Cloyne in Ireland, and 
the discovery, that of the virtues of tar- water. 

c 36 :\ 


I then happened to recoUeft, upon a hint 
given me by the inimitable author of the Fe- 
male Quixote, that I had many years before, 
from curiosity only, taken a cursory view of 
bishop Berkeley's treatise on the virtues of 
tar- water, which I had formerly observed he 
Slrongly contends to be that real panacea which 
Sydenham supposes to have an existence in 
nature, tho' it yet remains undiscovered, and, 
perhaps, will always remain so. 

Upon the re-perusal of this book I found the 
bishop only asserting his opinion, that tar- water 
might be useful in the dropsy, since he had 
known it tohavea surprizingsuccess in thecure 
of a mo§l Stubborn anasarca, which is indeed 
no other than, as the word implies, the dropsy 
of the flesh ; and this was, at that time, a large 
part of my complaint. 

After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, 
which I presently found did not suit with my 
case, I betook myself to the bishop's prescrip- 
tion, and dosed myself every morning and even- 
ing with half a pint of tar- water. 

It was no more than three weeks since my 
la§l tapping, and my belly and limbs were dis- 
tended with water. This did not give me the 

C 37 3 


worse opinion of tar- water : for I never sup- 
posed there could be any such virtue in tar- 
water, as immediately to carry off a quantity of 
water already colle6led. For my delivery from 
this, I well knew I muSl be again obliged to the 
trochar ; and that if the tar- water did me any 
good at all, it mu§l be only by the slowest de- 
grees ; and that if it should ever get the better 
of my distemper, it mu§l be by the tedious op- 
eration of undermining, and not by a sudden at- 
tack and §lorm. 

Some visible effefts, however, and far be- 
yond what mymoSl sanguine hopes could with 
any modeSly expe6l, I very soon experienced ; 
the tar- water having, from the very firSl, les- 
sened my illness, increased my appetite, and 
added, though in a very slow proportion, to my 
bodily Strength. 

But if my Strength had increased a little, my 
water daily increased much more. So that, by 
the end of May, my belly became again ripe for 
the trochar, and I was a third time tapped ; upon 
I had three quarts of water taken from me less 
than had been taken the laSt time ; and I bore 

C 38 3 


the relaxation with much less (indeed with 
scarce any) faintness. 

ment I chiefly depended, seemed to think my 
only chance of life consisted in having the whole 
summer before me ; in which I might hope 
to gather sufficient Strength to encounter the 
inclemencies of the ensuing winter. But this 
chance began daily to lessen. I saw the sum- 
mer mouldering away, or rather, indeed, the 
year passing away without intending to bring 
on any summer at all. In the whole month of 
May the sun scarce appeared three times. So 
that the early fruits came to the fulness of their 
growth, and to some appearance of ripeness, 
without acquiring any real maturity ; having 
wanted the heat of the sun to soften and me- 
liorate their juices. I saw the dropsy gaining 
rather than losing ground ; the distance grow- 
ing Slill shorter between the tappings. I saw 
the aSlhma likewise beginning again to become 
more troublesome. I saw the midsummer quar- 
ter drawing towards a close. So that I con- 
ceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should Steal 
off in the same manner, as it was, in my opinion. 



very much to be apprehended it would, I should 
be dehvered up to the attacks of winter, before 
I recruited my forces, so as to be any wise able 
to withstand them. 

I now began to recal an intention, which 
from the firSl dawnings of my recovery I had 
conceiv'd, of removing to a warmer climate ; 
and finding this to be approved of by a very em- 
inent physician, I resolved to put it into imme- 
diate execution. 

Aix in Provence was the place fir§l thought 
on ; but the difficulties of getting thither were 
insuperable. The journey by land, beside the 
expence of it, was infinitely too long and fa- 
tiguing ; and I could hear of no ship that was 
likely to set out from London, within any rea- 
sonable time for Marseilles, or any other port 
in that part of the Mediterranean. 

Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. 
The air here, as it was near four degrees to the 
south of Aix, muSl be more mild and warm, and 
the venter shorter and less piercing. 

It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a 
place wdth which we carry on so immense a 
trade. Accordingly, my brother soon informed 
meof the excellent accommodations for passen- 

C 40 ] 


gers, which were to be found on board a ship 
that was obliged to sail for Lisbon in three days. 

I eagerly embraced the offer, notwithstand- 
ing the shortness of the time ; and having given 
my brother full power to contraft for our pas- 
sage, I began to prepare my family for the voy- 
age with the utmoSl expedition. 

But our great haSle was needless ; for the 
captain having twice put off his sailing, I at 
length invited him to dinner with me at Ford- 
hook, a full week after the time on which he 
had declared, and that with many assevera- 
tions, he muSl, and would, weigh anchor. 

He dined with me, according to his appoint- 
ment; and when all matters were settled be- 
tween us, left me with positive orders to be on 
board the Wednesday following; when he de- 
clared he would fall down the river to Graves- 
end ; and would not Slay a moment for the 
greatest man in the world. 

He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, 
and there wait the arrival of his ship ; assign- 
ing many reasons for this, every one of which 
was, as I well remember, among those that had 
before determined me to go on board near the 

C 41 3 


§ fFednesdayy June 26, 1 754. On this day, the 
moSl melancholy sun I had ever beheld arose, 
and found me awake at my house atFordhook. 
By the light of this sun, I was, in my own opin- 
ion, la§l to behold and take leave of some of 
those creatures on whom I doated with a mo- 
ther-like fondness, guided by nature and pas- 
sion, and uncured and unhardened by all the 
do6lrine of that philosophical school where I 
had learnt to bear pains and to despise death. 

In this situation, as I, could not conquer na- 
ture, I submitted entirely to her, and she made 
as great fool of me as she had ever done of any 
woman whatsoever : under pretence of giving 
me leave to enjoy, she drew me in to suffer the 
company of my little ones, during eight hours ; 
and I doubt not whether, in that time, I did not 
undergo more than in all my diSlemper. 

At twelve precisely my coach was at the 
door, which was no sooner told me than Ikiss'd 
my children round, and went into it wdth some 
little resolution. My vdfe, who behaved more 

1: 43 :i 


like a heroine and philosopher, tho* at the same 
time the tendereSl mother in the world, and my 
eldest daughter, followed me; some friends 
went with us, and others here took their leave; 
and I heard my behaviour applauded, with 
many murmurs and praises to which I well 
knew I had no title ; as all other such philoso- 
phers may, if they have any modeiSly, confess 
on the like occasions. 

In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and 
immediately went on board, and were to have 
sailed the next morning ; but as this was the 
king's proclamation-day, and consequently a 
holiday at the CuSlom-house, the captain could 
not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these 
holidays are as §lri6lly observed as those in the 
popish calendar, and are almo§l as numerous. 
I might add, that both are opposite to the ge- 
nius of trade, and consequently contra bonum 

To go on board the ship it was necessary 
fir§l to go into a boat ; a matter of no small dif- 
ficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was to 
be carried by men, who tho' sufficiently Strong 
for their burden, were, like Archimedes, puz- 
zled to find a Steady footing. Of this, as few 

[ 44 ;] 


of my readers have not gone into wherries on 
the Thames, they will easily be able to form 
to themselves an idea. However, by the as- 
sistance of my friend Mr. Welch, whom I 
never think or speak of but with love and es- 
teem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did after- 
wards that of ascending the ship, into which I 
was hoiSled with more ease by a chair lifted 
with puUies. I was soon seated in a great chair 
in the cabin, to refresh myself after a fatigue 
which had been more intolerable, in a quarter 
of a mile's passage from my couch to the ship, 
than I had before undergone in a land-journey 
of twelve miles, which I had travelled with the 
utmo§l expedition. 

This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat 
heightened by an indignation which I could not 
prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my 
entrance into the boat, I presented a spe6tacle 
of the higheSl horror. The total loss of limbs 
was apparent to all who saw me, and my face 
contained marks of a mo§l diseased Slate, if not 
of death itself. Indeed so ghaSlly was my coun- 
tenance, that timorous women with child had 
abstained from my house, for fear of the ill con- 
sequences of looking at me. In this condition, 

c 45 :] 

I ran the gauntlope, (so, I think I may juSlly 
call it) through rows of sailors and watermen, 
few of whom failed of paying their compli- 
ments to me, by all manner of insults and jeSls 
on my misery. No man who knew me will 
think I conceived any personal resentment at 
this behaviour ; but it was a lively pifture of 
that cruelty and inhumanity, in the nature of 
men, which I have often contemplated with con- 
cern; and which leads the mind into a train of 
very uncomfortable and melancholy thoughts. 
It may be said, that this barbarous cuSlom is pe- 
culiar to the English, and of them only to the 
lowest degree ; that it is an excrescence of an 
uncontroul'd licentiousness miSlaken for lib- 
erty, and never shews itself in men who are 
polish'd and refin'd, in such manner as human 
nature requires, to produce that perfe6lion of 
which it is susceptible, and to purge away that 
malevolence of disposition, of which, at our 
birth, we partake in common v^th the savage 

This may be said, and this is all that can be 
said ; and it is, I am afraid, but little satisfaftory 
to account for the inhumanity of those, who, 
while they boaSl of being made after God's 

C 46 ] 


own image, seem to bear in their minds a re- 
semblance of the vileSl species of brutes ; or 
rather, indeed, of our idea of devils : for I don't 
know that any brutes can be taxed with such 

A surloin of beef was now placed on the ta- 
ble, for which, tho' little better than carrion, as 
much was charged by the maSter of the little 
paltry alehouse who dressed it, as would have 
been demanded for all the elegance of the 
King's Arms, or any other polite tavern, or eat- 
inghouse ; for indeed the difference between the 
beSl house and the worSl is, that at the former 
you pay largely for luxury, at the latter for no- 

§ Thursday, June 27. This morning the cap- 
tain, who lay on shore at his own house, paid 
us a visit in the cabin ; and behaved like an 
angry bashaw, declaring, that had he known 
we were not to be pleased, he would not have 
carried us for £500. He added many assev- 
erations that he was a gentleman, and despised 
money ; not forgetting several hints of the pre- 
sents which had been made him for his cabin, 
of 20, 30, and 40 guineas, by several gentle- 
men, over and above the sum for which they 

c 47 3 


had contrafted. This behaviour greatly sur- 
prised me, as I knew not how to account for it, 
nothing having happened since we parted from 
the captain the evening before in perfeft good 
humour; and all this broke forth on the firSl 
moment of his arrival this morning. He did 
not, however, suffer my amazement to have any 
long continuance, before he clearly shewed me 
that all this was meant only as an apology to 
introduce another procrastination (being the 
fifth) of his weighing anchor; which was now 
postponed till Saturday, for such was his will 
and pleasure. 

Besides the disagreeable situation in which 
we then lay, in the confines of Wapping and 
Redriffe, tabling a delicious mixture of the air 
of both these sweet places, and enjoying the 
concord of sweet sounds of seamen, watermen, 
fish- women, oySler- women, and of all the vo- 
ciferous inhabitants of both shores, composing 
altogether a greater variety of harmony than 
Hogarth's imagination hath brought together 
in that print of his, which is enough to make a 
man deaf to look at ; I had a more urgent cause 
to press our departure, which was, that the 
dropsy, for which I had undergone three tap- 

[ 48 3 


pings, seemed to threaten me with a fourth dis- 
charge before I should reach Lisbon, and when 
I should have no body on board capable of per- 
forming the operation : but I was obliged to 
hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use 
the captain' s own words , and to re§l myself con- 
tented. Indeed there was no alternative within 
my reach, but what would have co§l me much 
too dear. 

There are many evils in society, from which 
people of the higheSl rank are so entirely ex- 
empt, that they have not the leaSl knowledge 
or idea of them ; nor indeed of the chara6lers 
which are formed by them. Such, for instance, 
is the conveyance of goods and passengers from 
one place to another. Now there is no such 
thing as any kind of knowledge contemptible 
in itself; and as the particular knowledge I 
here mean is entirely necessary to the well un- 
derstanding and well enjoying this journal ; 
and, laSlly, as in this case the moSl ignorant 
will be those very readers whose amusement 
we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish to be 
supposed principally to write, we will here en- 
ter somewhat largely into the discussion of this 
matter ; the rather, for that no antient or mod- 

C 49 3 


ern author (if we can tru§l the catalogue of 
Dr. Mead's Hbrary) hath ever undertaken it; 
but that it seems (in the §lile of Don Quixote) 
a task reserved for my pen alone. 

When I firSl conceived this intention, I began 
to entertain thoughts of inquiring into the an- 
tiquity of travelling : and, as many persons have 
performed in this w^ay ( I mean have travelled ) 
at theexpence of the public, I flattered myself 
that the spirit of improving arts and sciences, 
and of advancing useful and substantial learn- 
ing, which so eminently distinguishes this age, 
and hath given rise to more speculative socie- 
ties in Europe than I at present can recoUeft 
the names of; perhaps indeed than I or any 
other, besides their very near neighbours, ever 
heard mentioned, would assiSl in promoting so 
curious a work : A work ! begun with the same 
views, calculated for the same purposes, and 
fitted for the same uses, with the labours which 
those right honourable societies have so cheer- 
fully undertaken themselves, and encouraged 
in others ; sometimes with the higheSl honours, 
even with admission into their colleges, and 
wdth inrolment among their members. 

From these societies I promised myself all 

n 50 3 


assistance in their power, particularly the com- 
munication of such valuable manuscripts and 
records as they muSl be supposed to have col- 
lefted from those obscure ages of antiquity, 
when hi§lory yields us such imperfeft ac- 
counts of the residence, and much more im- 
perfe6l,of the travels of the human race; un- 
less, perhaps, as a curious and learned member 
of the young society of antiquarians is said to 
have hinted his conje6lures, that their residence 
and their travels were one and the same; and 
this discovery (for such it seems to be) he is 
said to have owed to the lighting by accident 
on a book, which we shall have occasion to men- 
tion presently, the contents of which were then 
little known to the society. 

The King of Prussia, moreover, who, from 
a degree of benevolence and taste which in 
either case is a rare produ6lion in so northern 
a climate, is the great encourager of art and 
science, I was well assured would promote so 
useful a design, and order his archives to be 
searched in my behalf. 

But, after well weighing all these advantages, 
and much meditation on the order of my work, 
my whole design was subverted in a moment, 

n 51 2 


by hearing of the discovery ju§l mentioned to 
have been made by the young antiquarian, who 
from the mo§l antient record in the world, ( tho' 
I don't find the society are all agreed in this 
point) one long preceding the date of the earli- 
e§l modern colle6tions, either of books or but- 
terflies, none of which pretend to go beyond the 
flood, shews us, that the fir§l man was a trav- 
eller, and that he and his family were scarce 
settled in Paradise, before they disliked their 
own home, and became passengers to another 
place. Hence it appears, that the humour of 
travelling is as old as the human race, and that 
it was their curse from the beginning. 

By this discovery my plan became much 
shortened, and I found it only necessary to treat 
of the conveyance of goods and passengers 
from place to place ; which not being univer- 
sally known, seemed proper to be explained, 
before we examined into its original. There 
are, indeed, two different ways of tracing all 
things, used by the hiSlorian and the antiquary ; 
these are upwards, and downwards. The for- 
mer shews you how things are, and leaves to 
others to discover when they began to be so. 
The latter shews you how things were, and 

t 52 3 


leaves their present existence to be examined 
by others. Hence the former is more useful, 
the latter more curious. The former receives 
the thanks of mankind, the latter of that valu- 
able part, the virtuosi. 

In explaining, therefore, this mySlery of 
carrying goods and passengers from one place 
to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the 
very be§l of our readers, we shall pursue the 
hi§lorical method, and endeavour to shew by 
what means it is at present performed, refer- 
ring the more curious enquiry either to some 
other pen, or to some other opportunity. 

Now there are two general ways of per- 
forming (if God permit) this conveyance ; viz. 
by land and water, both of which have much 
variety ; that by land being performed in differ- 
ent vehicles, such as coaches, caravans, wag- 
gons, &c. and that by water in ships, barges, and 
boats, of various sizes and denominations. But 
as all these methods of conveyance are formed 
on the same principles, they agree so well to- 
gether, that it is fully sufficient to comprehend 
them all in the general view, without descend- 
ing to such minute particulars as would distin- 
guish one method from another. 

I 53 3 


Common to all of these is one general prin- 
ciple, that as the goods to be conveyed are usu- 
ally the larger, so they are to be chiefly consid- 
ered in the conveyance ; the owner being indeed 
little more than an appendage to his trunk, or 
box, or bale, or at be§l a small part of his own 
baggage, very little care is to be taken inflow- 
ing or packing them up with convenience to 
himself : for the conveyance is not of passen- 
gers and goods, but of goods and passengers. 

Secondly, From this conveyance arises a new 
kind of relation, or rather of subje6lion in the 
society ; by which the passenger becomes bound 
in allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is 
indeed only temporary and local, but the mo§l 
absolute during its continuance of any known 
in Great-Britain, and, to say truth, scarce con- 
silient with the liberties of a free people ; nor 
could it be reconciled v^th them, did it not move 
downwards, a circum§lance universally appre- 
hended to be incompatible to all kinds of slavery. 
For AriSlotle, in his Politicks, hath proved 
abundantly to my satisfa6lion, that no men are 
born to be slaves, except barbarians ; and these 
only to such as are not themselves barbarians : 
and indeed Mr. Montesquieu hath carried it 

C 54 1 


very little farther, in the case of the Africans ; 
the real truth being, that no man is bom to be 
a slave, unless to him who is able to make him 

Thirdly, This subje6tion is absolute, and 
consists of a perfe6l resignation both of body 
and soul to the disposal of another ; after which 
resignation, during a certain time, his subje6l 
retains no more power over his own will, than 
an Asiatic slave, or an English v^fe, by the laws 
of both countries, and by the customs of one 
of them. If I should mention the inSlance of a 
Slage-coachman, many of my readers would 
recognize the truth of what I have here ob- 
served ; all indeed, that ever have been under 
the dominion of that tyrant, who, in this free 
country, is as absolute as a Turkish Bashaw. In 
two particulars only his power is defeftive ; he 
cannot press you into his service, and if you en- 
ter yourself at one place, on condition of being 
discharged at a certain time at another, he is 
obliged to perform his agreement, if God per- 
mit : but, all the intermediate time, you are ab- 
solutely under his government ; he carries you 
how he will, when he will, and whither he will, 
provided it be not much out of the road ; you 

C 55 3 


have nothing to eat, or to drink, but what, and 
when, and where he pleases. Nay, you can- 
not sleep, unless he pleases you should ; for he 
will order you sometimes out of bed atmidnight, 
and hurry you away at a moment* s warning: 
indeed, if you can sleep in his vehicle, he can- 
not prevent it ; nay, indeed, to give him his due, 
this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage ; for 
the earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, 
the more time he will give you in the heat of 
the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale- 
house, or at their doors, where he always gives 
you the same indulgence which he allows him- 
self ; and for this he is generally very moder- 
ate in his demands. I have known a whole bun- 
dle of passengers charged no more than half a 
crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an 
alehouse door, for above a whole hour, and that 
even in the hotteSl day in summer. 

But as this kind of tyranny, tho' it hath es- 
caped our political writers, hath been, I think, 
touched by our dramatic, and is more trite 
among the generality of readers ; and as this 
and all other kinds of such subje6lion are alike 
unknown to my friends, I will quit the passen- 
gers by land, and treat of those who travel by 

C 56 -] 


water : for whatever is said on this subjeftis ap- 
plicable to both alike, and we may bring them 
together as closely as they are brought in the 
liturgy, when they are recommended to the 
prayers of all Christian congregations ; and 
(which I have often thought very remarkable) 
where they are joined with other miserable 
wretches, such as, women in labour, people in 
sickness, infants juSl born, prisoners and cap- 

Goods and passengers are conveyed by wa- 
ter in divers vehicles, the principal of which 
being a ship, it shall suffice to mention that 
alone. Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, 
as the Slage-coachmandoth, from the vehicle 
itself, in which he Slows his goods and passen- 
gers, but he is called the captain ; a word of such 
various use and uncertain signification, that it 
seems very difficult to fix any positive idea to 
it : if indeed there be any general meaning 
which may comprehend all its different uses, 
that of the head, or chief, of any body of men, 
seems to be mo§l capable of this comprehen- 
sion ; for whether they be a company of soldiers, 
a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who is 
at the head of them is always Sliled the captain. 

C 57 •} 


The particular tyrant whose fortune it was 
to Slow us aboard, laid a farther claim to this 
appellation than the bare command of a vehicle 
of conveyance. He had b^en the captain of a 
privateer, which he chose to call being in the 
king's service, and thence derived a right of 
hoi§ling the military ornament of a cockade 
over the button of his hat. He likewise wore a 
sword of no ordinary length by his side, vvdth 
which he swaggered in his cabin, among the 
wretches his passengers, whom he had Slowed 
in cupboards on each side. He was a person of 
a very singular chara6ler. He had taken it into 
his head that he was a gentleman, from those 
very reasons that proved he was not one ; and to 
shew himself a fine gentleman, by a behaviour 
which seemed to insinuate he had never seen 
one. He was, moreover, a man of gallantry; 
at the age of seventy he had the finicalness of 
Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly; 
and while he was deaf himself, had a voice ca- 
pable of deafening all others. 

Now, as I saw myself in danger by the de- 
lays of the captain, who was, in reality, wait- 
ing for more freight, and as the wind had been 
long neSled, as it were, in the south- weSl, where 

i: 58 n 


itcon§lantly blewhurricanes, I began with great 
reason to apprehend that our voyage might be 
long, and that my belly, which began already 
to be much extended, would require the water 
to be let out at a time when no assistance was 
at hand ; though indeed, the captain comforted 
me with assurances, that he had a pretty young 
fellow on board, who a6led as his surgeon, as I 
found he likewise did as Steward, cook, butler, 
sailor. In short, he had as many offices as Scrub 
in the play, and went through them all with 
great dexterity : this of surgeon, was, perhaps, 
the only one in which his skill was somewhat 
deficient, atleaSt that branch of tapping for the 
dropsy; for he very ingenuously and modeStly 
confessed, he had never seen the operation per- 
formed, nor was possessed of that chirurgical 
instrument with which it is performed. 
§ Friday, June 28. By way of prevention, 
therefore, I this day sent for my friend Mr. 
Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomiSt of 
Co vent-garden ; and, though my belly was not 
yet very full and tight, let out ten quarts of 
water, the young sea-surgeon attending the 
operation, not as a performer, but as a Student. 
I was now eased of the greateSt apprehen- 

c 59 ] 


sion which I had from the length of the pas- 
sage ; and I told the captain, I was become in- 
different as to the time of his sailing. He ex- 
pressed much satisfa6tion in this declaration, 
and at hearing from me, that I found myself, 
since my tapping, much lighter and better. In 
this, I believe, he was sincere ; for he was, as 
we shall have occasion to observe more than 
once, a very good-natured man ; and as he was 
a very brave one too, I found that the heroic 
conSlancy, with which I had born an operation 
that is attended with scarce any degree of pain, 
had not a little raised me in his e§leem. That 
he might adhere, therefore, in the moSl reli- 
gious and rigorous manner to his word, when 
he had no longer any temptation from interest 
to break it, as he had no longer any hopes of 
more goods or passengers, he ordered his ship 
to fall down to Gravesend on Sunday morning, 
and there to wait his arrival. 
§ Sunday, June 30. Nothing worth notice 
pass'd till that morning, when my poor wife, 
after passing a night in the utmo§l torments 
of the tooth-ach, resolved to have it drawn. I 
dispatched, therefore, a servant into Wapping, 
to bring, in ha§le, the beSl toothdrawer he 

c: 60 3 


could find. He soon found out a female of 
great eminence in the art ; but when he brought 
her to the boat, at the water-side, they were 
informed that the ship was gone ; for, indeed, 
she had set out a few minutes after his quitting 
her; nor did the pilot, who well knew the er- 
rand on which I had sent my servant, think fit 
to wait a moment for his return, or to give 
me any notice of his setting out, though I had, 
very patiently, attended the delays of the cap- 
tain four days, after many solemn promises 
of weighing anchor every one of the three 


But of all the petty bashaws, or turbulent 
tyrants I ever beheld, this sourfaced pilot was 
the worSl tempered ; for, during the time that 
he had the guidance of the ship, which was till 
we arrived in the Downs, he complied with no 
one's desires, nor did he give a civil word, or, 
indeed, a civil look to any on board. 

The toothdrawer, who, as I said before, was 
one of great eminence among her neighbours, 
refused to follow the ship ; so that my man 
made himself the beSl of his way, and, with 
some difficulty, came up v^th us before we 
were got under full sail; for, after that, as we 

C 61 ;] 


had both wind and tide with us, he would have 
found it impossible to overtake the ship, till she 
was come to an anchor at Gravesend. 

The morning was fair and bright, and we 
had a passage thither, I think, as pleasant as 
can be conceived ; for, take it with all its ad- 
vantages, particularly the number of fine ships 
you are always sure of seeing by the way, there 
is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the 
world. The yards of Deptford and of Wool- 
wich are noble sights ; and give us a ju§l idea 
of the great perfe6lion to which we are arrived 
in building those floating ca§lles, and the figure 
which we may always make in Europe among 
the other maritime powers. That of Wool- 
wich, at leaSl, very Strongly imprinted this idea 
on my mind ; for, there was now on the Slocks 
there the Royal Anne, supposed to be the lar- 
gest ship ever built, and which contains ten 
carriage guns more than had ever yet equipped 
a firSl rate. 

It is true, perhaps, that there is more of os- 
tentation than of real utility, in ships of this 
vaSt and unwieldy burthen, which are rarely 
capable of a6ling againSl an enemy ; but if the 
building such contributes to preserve, among 

[ 62 ^ 


other nations, the notion of the British superi- 
ority in naval affairs, the expence, though very 
great, is well incurred, and the orientation is 
laudable and truly political. Indeed I should 
be sorry to allow that Holland, France or Spain, 
possessed a vessel larger and more beautiful 
than the largeSl and mo§l beautiful of ours ; 
for this honour I would always administer to 
the pride of our sailors, who should challenge 
it from all their neighbours with truth and suc- 
cess. And sure I am, that not our hone§l tars 
alone, but every inhabitant of this island, may 
exult in the comparison, when he considers the 
king of Great-Britain as a maritime prince, in 
opposition to any other prince in Europe ; but 
I am not so certain that the same idea of su- 
periority will result from comparing our land- 
forces withthoseof many other crowned heads. 
In numbers, they all far exceed us, and in the 
goodness and splendour of their troops, many 
nations, particularly the Germans and French, 
and perhaps the Dutch, caSl us at a distance ; 
for however we may flatter ourselves with 
the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, the 
change of the whole art of war since those days, 
by which the advantage of personal Strength 

i: 63 •} 

is, in a manner, entirely loSl, hath produced a 
change in mihtary affairs to the advantage of 
our enemies. As for our successes in later 
days, if they were not entirely owing to the su- 
perior genius of our general, they were not a 
little due to the superior force of his money. 
Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe of 
orientation, when he shewed his army, drawn 
up, to our captive general, the day after the 
battle of La Val, we cannot say that the os- 
tentation was entirely vain ; since he certainly 
shewed him an army, which had not been often 
equalled, either in the number or goodness of 
the troops, and which, in those respefts, so far 
exceeded ours, that none can ever caSl any re- 
fleftion on the brave young prince who could 
not reap the laurels of conquest in that day ; 
but his retreat will be always mentioned as an 
addition to his glory. 

In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, 
and it muSl be our ovm fault if it doth not con- 
tinue so; for, continue so it wdll, as long as the 
flourishing Slate of our trade shall support it ; 
and this support it can never want, till our legis- 
lature shall cease to give sufficient attention to 
the prote6lion of our trade, and our magiSlrates 

C 64 ;] 


want sufficient power, ability, and honeSly to 
execute the laws : a circumSlance not to be ap- 
prehended, as it cannot happen, till our senates 
and our benches shall be filled with the blind- 
e§l ignorance, or with the blackeSl corruption. 

Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many 
on the water : the yachts are sights of great 
parade, and the king's body yacht is, I believe, 
unequalled in any country, for convenience as 
well as magnificence ; both which are consulted 
in building and equipping her with the mo§l 
exquisite art and workmanship. 

We saw likewise several Indiamen ju§l re- 
turned from their voyage. These are, I be- 
lieve, the largest and fineSl vessels which are 
any where employed in commercial affairs. 
The colliers, likewise, which are very numer- 
ous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of 
great bulk; and, if we descend to those used in 
the American, African, and European trades, 
and pass through those which visit our own 
coaSls, to the small craft that ly between Chat- 
ham and the Tower, the whole forms a moSl 
pleasing obje6l to the eye, as well as highly 
warming to the heart of an Englishman, who 
has any degree of love for his country, or can 

C 65 •} 


recognize any effeft of the patriot in his consti- 

La§lly, the Royal Hospital of Greenwich, 
which presents so delightful a front to the wa- 
ter, and doth such honour at once to its builder 
and the nation, to the great skill and ingenuity 
of the one, and to the no less sensible gratitude 
of the other, very properly closes the account 
of this scene ; which may well appear romantic 
to those who have not themselves seen, that, 
in this one instance, truth and reality are cap- 
able, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fic- 

When we had pa§l by Greenwich, we saw 
only two or three gentlemens houses, all of 
very moderate account, till we reached Graves- 
end ; these are all on the Kentish shore, which 
affords a much drier, wholsomer and pleasanter 
situation, than doth that of its opposite, Essex. 
This circumstance, I own, is somewhat surpris- 
ing to me, when I refle6t on the numerous villas 
that crowd the river, from Chelsea upwards as 
far as Shepperton, where the narrower channel 
affords not half so noble a prospe6l, and where 
the continual succession of the small craft, like 
the frequent repetition of all things, which have 
C 66 ] 


nothing in them great, beautiful, or admirable, 
tire the eye, and give us diSlaSle and aversion 
instead of pleasure. With some of these situa- 
tions, such as Barnes, Mortlake, &c. even the 
shore of Essex might contend, not upon very- 
unequal terms ; but, on the Kentish borders, 
there are many spots to bechosen by the builder, 
which might juSlly claim the preference over 
almoSl the very fineSl of those in Middlesex 
and Surry. 

Hov^ shall we account for this depravity in 
taSle ? for, surely, there are none so very mean 
and contemptible, as to bring the pleasure of 
seeing a number of little wherries, gliding along 
after one another, in competition wdth what we 
enjoy, in vievdng a succession of ships, v^th all 
theirsails expanded to the winds, bounding over 
the waves before us. 

And here I cannot pass by another observa- 
tion on the deplorable want of taSle in our en- 
joyments, which we shew by almoSl totally 
neglefting the pursuit of what seems to me 
the highest degree of amusement : this is, the 
sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, 
contrived only for our ease and accommodation, 
to which such situations of our villas, as I have 

C 67 3 


recommended, would be so convenient and 
even necessary. 

This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any 
perfeftion, would be of the expensive kind ; but 
such expence would not exceed the reach of a 
moderate fortune, and would fall very short of 
the prices which are daily paid for pleasures of 
a far inferior rate. The truth, I believe, is, that 
sailing in the manner I have juiSl mentioned, is 
a pleasure rather unknown, or unthought of, 
than rejefted by those who have experienced 
it ; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of dan- 
ger, or sea-sickness, may be supposed, by the 
timorous and delicate, to make too large de- 
du6tions ; insisting, that all their enjoyments 
shall come to them pure and unmixed, and be- 
ing ever ready to cry out, 

" Nocet empta dolore voluptas." 

This, however, was my present case ; for the 
ease and lightness which I felt from my tap- 
ping, the gaiety of the morning, the pleasant 
sailing with wind and tide, and the many agree- 
able objefts with which I was conSlantly enter- 
tained during the whole way, were all sup- 
pressed and overcome by the single consider- 

C 68 3 


ation of my wife's pain, which continued inces- 
santly to torment her till we came to an anchor, 
when I dispatched a messenger in great haSle, 
for the be§l reputed operator in Gravesend. A 
surgeon of some eminence now appeared, who 
did not decline tooth-drawing, tho' he certainly 
would have been offended with the appellation 
of tooth-drawer, no less than his brethren, the 
members of that venerable body, would be 
with that of barber, since the late separation 
between thoselongunitedcompanies,by which, 
if the surgeons have gained much, the barbers 
are supposed to have loSl very little. 

This able and careful person ( for so I sin- 
cerely believe he is ) after examining the guilty 
tooth, declared, that it was such a rotten shell, 
and so placed at the very remoteSl end of the 
upper jaw, where it was, in a manner, covered 
and secured by a large, fine, firm tooth, that he 
despaired of his power of drawing it. 

He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used 
more rhetoric to dissuade her from having it 
drawn, than is generally employed to persuade 
young ladies, to prefer a pain of three moments 
to one of three months continuance ; especially, 
if those young ladies happen to be pa§l forty or 

[ 69 :i 

fifty years of age, when, by submitting to sup- 
port a racking torment, the only good circum- 
stance attending which is, 't is so short, that 
scarce one in a thousand can cry out, I feel it, 
they are to do a violence to their charms, and 
lose one of those beautiful holders, with which 
alone Sir Courtly Nice declares, a lady can ever 
lay hold of his heart. 

He said at laSl so much, and seemed to rea- 
son so juSlly, that I came over to his side, and 
assisted him in prevailing on my wife ( for it was 
no easy matter ) to resolve on keeping her tooth 
a little longer, and to apply to palliatives only 
for relief. These were opium applied to the 
tooth, and blisters behind the ears. 

Whilst we were at dinner this day, in the 
cabin, on a sudden the v^ndow on one side was 
beat into the room, wdth a crash, as if a twenty- 
pounder had been discharged among us. We 
were all alarmed at the suddenness of the ac- 
cident, for which, however, we were soon able 
to account : for the sash, which was shivered all 
to pieces, was pursued into the middle of the 
cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship, called 
a cod-smack, the maSter of which made us 
amends for running (carelesly at beSt) againSt 

t 70 :] 


us, and injuring the ship, in the sea way ; that is 
to say, by damning us all to hell, and uttering 
several pious wishes that it had done us much 
more mischief. All which were answered in 
their own kind and phrase by our men ; be- 
tween whom, and the other crew, a dialogue 
of oaths and scurrility was carried on, as long 
as they continued in each other's hearing. 

It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfa6tory 
reason why sailors in general should, of all oth- 
ers, think themselves entirely discharged from 
the common bands of humanity, and should 
seem to glory in the language and behaviour 
of savages ? They see more of the world, and 
have, moSl of them, a more erudite education, 
than is the portion of land men of their degree. 
Nor do I believe that in any country they visit 
(Holland itself not excepted) they can ever 
find a parallel to what daily passes on the river 
Thames. Is it that they think true courage ( for 
they are the brave§l fellows upon earth) in- 
consistent with all the gentleness of a humane 
carriage, and that the contempt of civil order 
springs up in minds but little cultivated at the 
same time, and from the same principles, with 
the contempt of danger and death ? Is it ? 

■ C 71 J 


In short, it is so ; and how it comes to be so, I 
leave to form a question in the Robin Hood so- 
ciety, or to be propounded for solution among 
the aenigmas in the Woman's Almanack for 
the next year. 

§ Monday, July i . This day Mr. Welch took 
his leave of me after dinner, as did a young lady 
of her siSler, v^ho was proceeding with my wife 
to Lisbon. They both set out together in a 
poSl-chaise for London. 

Soon after their departure, our cabin, where 
my wife and I were sitting together, was visited 
by two ruffians, whose appearance greatly cor- 
responded with that of the sheriffs, or rather 
the knight marshal' s bailiffs . One of these, es- 
pecially, who seemed to affeft a more than or- 
dinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came 
in without any kind of ceremony, with a broad 
gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with 
much military fierceness on his head. An ink- 
horn at his button-hole, and some papers in his 
hand, sufficiently assured me what he was, and 
I asked him if he and his companion were not 
cuSlom-house officers ; he answered with suffi- 
cient dignity, that they were, as an information 
which he seemed to conclude would Slrike the 

I 72 3 

hearer with awe, and suppress all further in- 
quiry; but, on the contrary I proceeded to ask 
of what rank he was in the CuSlom-house, and 
receiving an answer from his companion, as I 
remember, that the gentleman was a riding 
surveyor; I replied that he might be a riding 
surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that 
none who had any title to that denomination, 
would break into the presence of a lady, v^th- 
out any apology, or even moving his hat. He 
then took liis covering from his head, and laid 
it on the table, saying, he asked pardon, and 
blamed the mate, who should, he said, have in- 
formed him if any persons of di§lin6lion were 
below. I told him, he might guess by our ap- 
pearance (which, perhaps, was rather more 
than could be said with the §lri6le§t adherence 
to truth) that he was before a gentleman and 
lady, which should teach him to be very civil in 
his behaviour, tho' we should not happen to be 
of that number whom the world calls people 
of fashion and diSlinftion. However, I said, 
that as he seemed sensible of his error, and had 
asked pardon, the lady would permit him to put 
his hat on again, if he chose it. This he refused 
v^th some degree of surliness, and failed not to 

i: 73 -} 


convince me that, if I should condescend to be- 
come more gentle, he would soon grow more 

I now renewed a refleftion, which I have 
often seen occasion to make, that there is no- 
thing so incongruous in nature as any kind of 
power, with lowness of mind and of ability ; 
and that there is nothing more deplorable than 
the want of truth in the whimsical notion of 
Plato ; who tells us that " Saturn, well knowing 
the Slate of human affairs, gave us kings and 
rulers, not of human, but divine original ! for 
as we make not shepherds of sheep, nor ox- 
herds of oxen, nor goat-herds of goats ; but 
place some of our own kind over all, as being 
better and fitter to govern them : in the same 
manner, were demons by the Divine Love, set 
over us, as a race of beings of a superior order 
to men ; and who with great ease to themselves, 
might regulate our affairs and establish peace, 
modeSly, freedom and juSlice; and, totally de- 
stroying all sedition, might complete the hap- 
piness of the human race. So far, at lea§l, may 
even now be said with truth, that in all Slates 
which are under the government of mere man, 
without any divine assistance, there is nothing 

[ 74 :] 


but labour and misery to be found. From what 
I have said, therefore, we may at leaSl learn, 
with our utmoSl endeavours to imitate the Sa- 
tumian institution ; borrovraig all assistance 
from our immortal part, while we pay to this 
the SlrifteSl obedience, we should form both 
our private oeconomy, and public policy, from 
its di6lates. By this dispensation of our im- 
mortal minds, we are to eSlablish a law, and to 
call it by that name. But if any government 
be in the hands of a single person, of the few, 
or of the many ; and such governor or gover- 
nors shall abandon himself or themselves to the 
unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or 
desires, unable to restrain any passion, but pos- 
sessed with an insatiable bad disease; if such 
shall attempt to govern, and at the same time 
to trample on all laws, there can be no means 
of preservation left for the wretched people." 
Plato de Leg, lib, 4. />. 713. t:. 714. edit, Ser- 

It is true that Plato is here treating of the 
highest or sovereign power in a State ; but it is 
as true, that his observations are general, and 
may be applied to all inferior powers : and, in- 
deed, every subordinate degree is immediately 

c 75 -} 


derived from the higheSl; and as it is equally 
prote6led by the same force, and san6lified by 
the same authority, is ahke dangerous to the 
well-being of the subjeft. 

Of all powers, perhaps, there is none so sanc- 
tified and prote6led, as this which is under our 
present consideration. So numerous, indeed, 
and §lrong are the san6lions given to it by many 
a6ls of parliament, that having once established 
the laws of customs on merchandize, it seems 
to have been the sole view of the legislature to 
Strengthen the hands, and to proteft the per- 
sons of the officers, who became established by 
those laws ; many of whom are so far from 
bearing any resemblance to the Saturnian in- 
stitution, and to be chosen from a degree of be- 
ings superior to the reSt of human race, that 
they sometimes seem industriously picked out 
of the lowest and vileSt orders of mankind. 

There is, indeed, nothing so useful to man in 
general, nor so beneficial to particular societies 
and individuals, as trade. This is that alma ma- 
ter, at whose plentiful breaSt all mankind are 
nourished. It is true, like other parents, she is 
not always equally indulgent to all her chil- 
dren ; but tho' she gives to her favourites a vaSt 

c 76 :\ 


proportion of redundancy and superfluity, there 
are very few whom she refuses to supply wdth 
the conveniencies, and none with the neces- 
saries of life. 

Such a benefa6lress as this mu§l naturally 
be beloved by mankind in general ; it would be 
wonderful, therefore, if her interest was not 
considered by them, and prote6led from the 
fraud and violence of some of her rebellious 
offspring, who coveting more than their share, 
or more than she thinks proper to allow them, 
are daily employed in meditating mischief 
againSl her, and in endeavouring to §leal from 
their brethren those shares which this great 
alma mater had allowed them. 

At length our Governor came on board, and 
about six in the evening we weighed anchor, 
and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage 
delightful, the moon ju§l pa§l the full, and both 
wind and tide favourable to us. 
§ Tuesday, July 2. This morning we again 
set sail, under all the advantages we had en- 
joyed the evening before : this day we left the 
shore of Essex, and coa§led along Kent, pass- 
ing by the pleasant island of Thanet, which is 

I 77 J 


an island, and that of Sheppey, which is not an 
island ; and about three o'clock, the wind being 
now full in our teeth, we came to an anchor in 
the Downs, within two miles of Deal. My 
wife, having suffered intolerable pain from her 
tooth, again renewed her resolution of hav- 
ing it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for 
from Deal, but with no better success than the 
former. He likewise declined the operation, 
for the same reason which had been assigned 
by the former : however, such was her resolu- 
tion, backed with pain, that he was obliged to 
make the attempt, which concluded more in 
honour of his judgment, than of his operation ; 
for after having put my poor v^fe to inexpres- 
sible torment, he was obliged to leave her tooth 
in statu quo; and she had now the comfortable 
prospeftof a long fit of pain, which might have 
laSled her her whole voyage, v^thout any pos- 
sibility of relief. 

In these pleasing sensations, of which I had 
my ju§l share, nature, overcome with fatigue, 
about eight in the evening resigned her to reSl ; 
a circumstance which would have given me 
some happiness, could I have knovm how to 
employ those spirits which were raised by it : 

I 78 :\ 


but unfortunately for me, I was left in a dispo- 
sition of enjoying an agreeable hour, without 
the assiiSlance of a companion, which has al- 
ways appeared to me necessary to such enjoy- 
ment ; my daughter and her companion were 
both retired sea-sick to bed ; the other passen- 
gers were a rude schoolboy of fourteen years 
old, and an illiterate Portuguese friar, who un- 
derstood no language but his own, in which I 
had not the leaSl smattering. The captain was 
the only person left, in whose conversation I 
might indulge myself; but unluckily, besides 
a total ignorance of everything in the world 
but a ship, he had the misfortune of being so 
deaf, that to make him hear, I will not say un- 
derstand, my words, I muSl run the risque of 
conveying them to the ears of my wife, who, 
tho' in another room (called, I think, the Slate- 
room ; being indeed a moSl Slately apartment 
capable of containing one human body in length, 
if not very tall, and three bodies in breadth ) lay 
asleep Vvdthin a yard of me. In this situation 
necessity and choice were one and the same 
thing; the captain and I sat down together to a 
small bowl of punch, over which we both soon 
fell faSl asleep, and so concluded the evening. 

c: 79 3 


§ Wednesday, July 3 . This morning I awaked 
at four o'clock, for my di§lemper seldom suf- 
fered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and 
had the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tem- 
pestuous sea for four hours before the captain 
was Slirring ; for he loved to indulge himself in 
morning slumbers, which were attended with 
a wind music, much more agreeable to the per- 
formers than to the hearers, especially such as 
have, as I had, the privilege of sitting in the or- 
chestra. At eight o'clock the captain rose, and 
sent his boat on shore. I ordered my man hke- 
wise to go in it, as my diSlemper was not of 
that kind which entirely deprives us of appe- 
tite. Now tho' the captain had well victualled 
his ship with all manner of salt provisions for 
the voyage, and had added great quantities 
of fresh Stores, particularly of vegetables, at 
Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had 
been on board only two days, and had, possibly, 
not been gathered above two more, I appre- 
hended I could provide better for myself at 
Deal, than the ship's ordinary seemed to pro- 
mise. I accordingly sent for fresh provisions 
of all kinds from the shore, in order to put off 
the evil day of Starving as long as possible. My 

t 80 3 


man returned with mo§l of the articles I sent 
for, and I now thought myself in a condition of 
living a week on my own provisions. I there- 
fore ordered my ovm dinner, which I wanted 
nothing but a cook to dress, and a proper fire 
to dress it at; but those were not to be had, nor, 
indeed, any addition to my roaSl mutton, ex- 
ceptthe pleasureof the captain's company, with 
that of the other passengers ; for my wife con- 
tinued the whole day in a §late of dozing ; and 
my other females, whose sickness did not abate 
by the rolling of the ship at anchor, seemed 
more inclined to empty their Stomachs than to 
fill them. Thus I pass'd the whole day (ex- 
cept about an hour at dinner) by myself, and 
the evening concluded with the captain, as the 
preceding one had done : one comfortable piece 
of news he communicated to me, which was, 
that he had no doubt of a prosperous Mdnd in 
the morning ; but as he did not divulge the rea- 
sons of this confidence, and as I saw none my- 
self, besides the v^nd being dire6lly opposite, 
my faith in this prophecy was not §lrong enough 
to build any great hopes upon. 
§ Thursday, July 4. This morning, however, 
the captain seem'd resolved to fulfil his ovm 


predi6lions, whether the wind would or no ; 
he accordingly weighed anchor, and taking the 
advantage of the tide, when the wind was not 
very boisterous, he hoisted his sails, and, as if 
his power had been no less absolute over Eolus 
than it was over Neptune, he forced the v^nd 
to blow him on in its own despight. 

But as all men who have ever been at sea 
well know how weak such attempts are, and 
want no authorities of Scripture to prove, that 
the mo§l absolute power of a captain of a ship 
is very contemptible in the wind's eye, so did it 
befal our noble commander; who having Strug- 
gled with the wind three or four hours, was 
obliged to give over, and loSt, in a few minutes, 
all that he had been so long a gaining; in short, 
we returned to our former Station, and once 
more caSt anchor in the neighbourhood of 

Here, though we lay near the shore, that we 
might promise ourselves all the emolument 
which could be derived from it, we found our- 
selves deceived, and that we might with as much 
conveniency be out of the sight of land ; for, 
except when the captain launched forth his own 
boat, which he did always with great relu6tance, 

i: 82 3 


we were incapable of procuring anything from 
Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond 
the reach even of modern luxury ; the fare of 
a boat from Deal, which lay at two miles dis- 
tance, being at leaSl three half crowns, and if 
we had been inany diSlress for it, as many half 
guineas ; for these good people consider the sea 
as a large common, appendant to their manor, 
in which when they find any of their fellow 
creatures impounded, they conclude, that they 
have a full right of making them pay at their 
own discretion for their deliverance : to say the 
truth, whether it be that men, who live on the 
sea-shore, are of an amphibious kind, and do 
not entirely partake of human nature, or what- 
ever else may be the reason, they are so far 
from taking any share in the distresses of man- 
kind, or of being moved with any compassion 
for them, that they look upon them as blessings 
shower'd down from above ; and which the 
more they improve to their ovm use, the greater 
is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Graves- 
end, a sculler requires a shilling for going less 
way than he would row in London for three- 
pence ; and, at Deal, a boat often brings more 
profit in a day, than it can produce in London 

c 83 :\ 


in a week, or, perhaps, in a month : in both 
places, the owner of the boat founds his demand 
on the necessity and distress of one, who Stands 
more or less in absolute want of his assistance ; 
and with the urgency of these, always rises in 
the exorbitancy of his demand, without ever 
considering, that, from these very circum- 
stances, the power or ease of gratifying such 
demand is in like proportion lessened. Now, 
as I am unwilling that some conclusions, which 
may be, I am aware, too juStly drawn from 
these observations, should be imputed to human 
nature in general, I have endeavoured to ac- 
count for them in a way more consistent with 
the goodness and dignity of that nature : how- 
ever it be, it seems a little torefle6t on the gov- 
ernors of such monSters, that they do not take 
some means to reStrain these impositions, and 
prevent them from triumphing any longer in 
the miseries of those, who are, in many cir- 
cumstances at leaSt, their fellow-creatures, and 
considering the distresses of a wretched sea- 
man, from his being wrecked to his being barely 
v^nd-bound, as a blessing sent among them 
from above, and calling it by that blasphemous 

c: 84 ] 


§ Friday, July 5. This day I sent a servant 
on board a man of war, that was Stationed here, 
with my comphments to the captain, to repre- 
sent to him the distress of the ladies, and to de- 
sire the favour of his long-boat to conduft us 
to Dover, at about seven miles distance ; and, 
at the same time, presumed to make use of a 
great lady's name, the wife of the firSl lord 
commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I 
told him, be pleased with any kindness shewn 
by him towards us in our miserable condition. 
And this I am convinced was true, from the 
humanity of the lady, though she was entirely 
unknown to me. 

The captain returned a verbal answer to a 
long letter ; acquainting me, that what I desired 
could not be complied with, it being a favour 
not in his power to grant. This might be, and 
I suppose was true; but it is as true, that if he 
was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper 
aboard, he might have sent a written answer ; 
and that it was the part of a gentleman so to 
have done ; but this is a charafter seldom main- 
tained on the watery element, especially by 
those who exercise any power on it. Every 
commander of a vessel here seems to think 

I 85 ] 


himself entirely free from all those rules of 
decency and civility, which dire6l and reSlrain 
the cQndu6l of the members of a society on 
shore ; and each, claiming absolute dominion in 
his little wooden world, rules by his own laws 
and his own discretion. I do not, indeed, know 
so pregnant an iniSlance of the dangerous con- 
sequences of absolute power, and its aptness 
to intoxicate the mind, as that of those petty 
tyrants, who become such in a moment, from 
very well-disposed and social members of that 
communion, in which they affe6l no superior- 
ity, but live in an orderly state of legal subjec- 
tion with their fellow-citizens. 
§ Saturday, July 6. This morning our com- 
mander, declaring he was sure the wind would 
change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, 
and weighed his anchor. His assurance, how- 
ever, had the same completion, and his endeav- 
ours the same success, with his former trial ; 
and he was soon obliged to return once more 
to his old quarters. Ju§l before we let go our 
anchor, a small sloop, rather than submit to 
yield us an inch of way, ran foul of our ship, 
and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate 
frolic would have coSl those aboard the sloop 

n 86 : 


very dear, if our Sleersman had not been too 
generous to exert his superiority, the certain 
consequence of which would have been the im- 
mediate sinking of the other. This contention 
of the inferior, with a might capable of crush- 
ing it in an in§lant, may seem to argue no small 
share of folly or madness, as well as of impu- 
dence ; but I am convinced there is very little 
danger in it : contempt is a port to which the 
pride of man submits to fly v^th reluftance, but 
those who are within it are always in a place 
of the mo§l assured security ; for whosoever 
throws away his sword, prefers, indeed, a less 
honourable, but much safer means of avoiding 
danger, than he who defends himself with it. 
And here we shall offer another distin6lion,of 
the truth of which much reading and experience 
have well convinced us, that as in the mo§l ab- 
solute governments, there is a regular progres- 
sion of slavery downwards, from the top to the 
bottom, the mischief of whichis seldom felt with 
any great force and bitterness, but by the next 
immediate degree ; so in themoSl dissolute and 
anarchical Slates, there is as regular an ascent 
of what is called rank or condition, which is al- 
ways laying hold of the head of him who is ad- 

c: 87 3 


vanced but one Step higher on the ladder, who 
might, if he did not too much despise such ef- 
forts, kick his pursuer headlong to the bottom. 
We will conclude this digression with one gen- 
eral and short observation, which will, perhaps, 
set the whole matter in a clearer light than the 
longeSl and mo§l laboured harangue. Whereas 
envy of all things moSl exposes us to danger 
from others ; so, contempt of all things be§l 
secures us from them. And thus, while the 
dung-cart and the sloop are always meditating 
mischief againSl the coach and the ship, and 
throwing themselves designedly in their way, 
the latter consider only their own security, and 
are not ashamed to break the road, and let the 
other pass by them. 

§ Monday y July 8. Having paSl our Sunday 
inga great number of whitings in the afternoon 
may be thought so ; we now set sail on Mon- 
day at six o'clock, with a little variation of wind ; 
but this was so very little, and the breeze itself 
so small, that the tide was our beSl, and, indeed, 
almoSl our only friend. This conduced us 
along the short remainder of the Kentish shore. 
Here we paSl that clifFof Dover, which makes 
C 88 3 


so tremendous a figure in Shakespear, and which 
whoever reads without being giddy, mu§l, ac- 
cording to Mr. Addison's observation, have ei- 
ther a very good head, or a very bad one ; but 
which whoever contra6ls any such ideas from 
the sight of, muSl have, at leaSl, a poetic, if not 
a Shakespearian genius. In truth, mountains, 
rivers, heroes, and gods, owe great part of their 
existence to the poets ; and Greece and Italy 
do so plentifully abound in the former, because 
they furnished so glorious a number of the lat- 
ter; who, while they beSlowed immortality on 
every little hillock and blind Stream, left the no- 
ble§l rivers and mountains in the world to share 
the same obscurity wdth the eaSlern and weSl- 
ern poets, in which they are celebrated. 

This evening we beat the sea off Sussex, in 
sight of Dungeness, v^th much more pleasure 
than progress ; for the weather was almoSl a 
perfe6l calm, and the moon, which was almoSl 
at the full, scarce suffered a single cloud to veil 
her from our sight. 

§ TuesdayyfFednesday, July 9,10, These two 
days we had much the same fine weather, and 
made much the same way ; but, in the evening 
of the latter day, a pretty fresh gale sprung up, 

C 89 3 


at N. N. W. which brought us by the morning 
in sight of the Isle of Wight. 
§ Thursday y July 1 1 . This gale continued till 
towards noon ; when the eaSlend of the island 
bore but little a-head of us. The captain swag- 
gered and declared he would keep the sea ; but 
the wind got the better of him, so that about 
three he gave up the vi6tory, and, making a 
sudden tack. Stood in for the shore, passed by 
Spithead and Portsmouth, and came to an an- 
chor at a place called Ryde on the island. 

A moSl tragical incident fell out this day at 
sea. While the ship was under sail, but mak- 
ing, as will appear, no great way, a kitten, one 
of four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, 
fell from the window into the water: an alarm 
was immediately given to the captain, who was 
then upon deck, and received it with the ut- 
most concern and many bitter oaths. He im- 
mediately gave orders to the Sleersman in fa- 
vour of the poor thing, as he called it ; the sails 
were in§lantly slackened, and all hands, as the 
phrase is, employed to recover the poor ani- 
mal. I was, I own, extremely surprised at all 
this ; less, indeed, at the captain's extreme ten- 
derness, than at his conceiving any possibility 

c 90 -} 


of success ; for, if puss had had nine thousand, 
inSleadof nine Uves, I concluded they had been 
all lo§l. The boatswain, however, had more 
sanguine hopes ; for, having stript himself of 
his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he leapt boldly 
into the water, and, to my great aSlonishment, 
in a few minutes, returned to the ship, bearing 
the motionless animal in his mouth. Nor was 
this, I observed, a matter of such great diffi- 
culty as it appeared to my ignorance, and possi- 
bly may seem to that of my fresh- water reader : 
the kitten was now exposed to air and sun on 
the deck, where its life, of which it retained no 
symptoms, was despaired of by all. 

The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, 
did not so totally deSlroy his philosophy, as to 
make him yield himself up to affliftion on this 
melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like 
a man, he resolved to shew he could bear it like 
one ; and, having declared, he had rather have 
loSl a cask of rum or brandy, betook himself 
to threshing at backgammon v^th the Portu- 
guese friar, in which innocent amusement they 
had passed about two-thirds of their time. 

But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly 
endeavoured to raise the tender passions of my 

I 91 3 


readers, in this narrative, I should think myself 
unpardonable if I concluded it, without giving 
them the satisfaction of hearing that the kitten 
at laSl recovered, to the great joy of the good 
captain ; but to the great disappointment of 
some of the sailors, w^ho asserted, that the 
drowning a cat was the very sureSl way of rais- 
ing a favourable wdnd : a supposition of which, 
though we have heard several plausible ac- 
counts, we will not presume to assign the true 
original reason. 

§ Friday, July 12. This day our ladies went 
a-shore at Ryde, and drank their afternoon tea 
at an alehouse there v^th great satisfaction : 
here they were regaled v^th fresh cream, to 
which they had been Strangers since they left 
the Downs. 

§ Saturday, July 1 3 . The vvdnd seeming likely 
to continue in the same corner, where it had 
been almoSl coniSlantly for two months to- 
gether, I was persuaded by my v^fe to go ashore, 
and Slay at Ryde till we sailed. I approved the 
motion much ; for, though I am a great lover of 
the sea, I now fancied there was more pleasure 
in breathing the fresh air of the land ; but, how 
to get thither was the queSlion : for, being really 

C 92 3 


that dead luggage which I considered all pas- 
sengers to be in the beginning of this narrative, 
and incapable of any bodily motion without ex- 
ternal impulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, 
or to determine to do it, without the assiiSlance 
of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living 
luggage is more difficult to be moved, or re- 
moved, than an equal or much superior weight 
of dead matter ; which, if of the brittle kind, 
may indeed be liable to be broken through 
negligence ; but this, by proper care, may be 
almoSl certainly prevented ; whereas the frac- 
tures to which the living lumps are exposed, 
are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and 
often by no art to be amended. 

I was deliberating on the means of convey- 
ance, not so much out of the ship to the boat, 
as out of a little tottering boat to the land. A 
matter which, as I had already experienced in 
the Thames, was not extremely easy, when to 
be performed by any other limbs than your 
own. Whilst I weighed all that could suggest 
itself on this head, without §lri6lly examining 
the merit of the several schemes which were 
advanced by the captain and sailors, and, in- 
deed, giving no very deep attention even to my 

C 93 3 


wife, who, as well as her friend and my daugh- 
ter, were exerting their tender concern for my 
ease and safety ; fortune, for I am convinced 
she had a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck ; 
a present welcome enough of itself, but more 
welcome on account of the vessel in which it 
came, being a large hoy, which in some places 
would pass for a ship, and many people would 
go some miles to see the sight. I was pretty 
easily conveyed on board this hoy, but to get 
from hence to the shore was not so easy a task ; 
for, however Strange it may appear, the water 
itself did not extend so far ; an instance which 
seems to explain those lines of Ovid, 

" Omnia Pontus erant, deerant quoque littora Ponto," 

in a less tautological sense, than hath generally 
been imputed to them. 

In fa6l, between the sea and the shore, there 
was, at low water, an impassable gulph, if I 
may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither 
be traversed by walking nor swimming, so that 
for near one half of the twenty-four hours, 
Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as 
the magistrates of this place seemed more to 
desire the company of the former, than to fear 

[ 94 ;] 


that of the latter, they had begun to make a 
small causeway to the low water mark, so that 
foot passengers might land whenever they 
pleased ; but as this work was of a public kind, 
and would have coSl a large sum of money, at 
leaiSl ten pounds, and the magistrates, that is to 
say, the church- wardens, the overseers, con- 
Stable and tithingman, and the principal inhabi- 
tants, had every one of them some separate 
scheme of private interest to advance at the ex- 
pence of the public, they fell out among them- 
selves ; and after having thrown away one half 
of the requisite sum, resolved, at leaSt, to save 
the other half, and rather be contented to sit 
down losers themselves , than to enj oy any bene- 
fit which might bring in a greater profit to an- 
other. Thus that unanimity, which is so neces- 
sary in all public affairs, became wanting, and 
every man, from the fear of being a bubble to 
another, was, in reality, a bubble to himself. 

However, as there is scarce any difficulty, to 
which the Strength of men, assisted v^th the 
cunning of art, is not equal, I was at laSt hoiSted 
into a small boat, and being rowed pretty near 
the shore, was taken up by two sailors, who 
waded with me through the mud, and placed 

i: 95 1 


me in a chair on the land, whence they after- 
wards conveyed me a quarter of a mile farther, 
and brought me to a house, which seemed to 
bid the faire§l for hospitality of any in Ryde. 

We brought with us our provisions from the 
ship, so that we wanted nothing but a fire to 
dress our dinner, and a room in which we might 
eat it. In neither of these had we any reason 
to apprehend a disappointment, our dinner con- 
sisting only of beans and bacon, and the worSl 
apartment in hismajeiSly's dominions, either at 
home or abroad, being fully sufficient to answer 
our present ideas of delicacy. 

Unluckily, however, we were disappointed 
in both ; for when we arrived about four at our 
inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately see- 
ing our beans smoking on the table, we had the 
mortification of seeing them on the table indeed, 
but without that circumstance which would have 
made the sight agreeable, being in the same 
State in which we had dispatched them from 
our ship. 

In excuse for this delay, tho' we had exceed- 
ed, almoSt purposely, the time appointed, and 
our provision had arrived three hours before, 
the mistress of the house acquainted us, that it 

t 96 :] 


was not for want of time to dress them that 
they were not ready, but for fear of their be- 
ing cold or over-done before we should come ; 
which she assured us was much worse than 
waiting a few minutes for our dinner. An ob- 
servation so very juSl, that it is impossible to 
find any obje6lion in it ; but indeed it was not 
altogether so proper at this time : for we had 
given the mo§l absolute orders to have them 
ready at four, and had been ourselves, not with- 
out much care and difficulty, moSl exaftly 
pun6lual in keeping to the very minute of our 
appointment. But tradesmen, inn-keepers, 
and servants never care to indulge us in mat- 
ters contrary to our true interest, which they 
always know better than ourselves, nor can 
any bribes corrupt them to go out of their way, 
whilst they are consulting our good in our own 

Our disappointment in the other particular, 
in defiance of our humility, as it was more ex- 
traordinary, was more provoking. In short, 
Mrs. Francis (for that was the name of the 
good woman of the house) no sooner received 
the news of our intended arrival, than she con- 
sidered more the gentility than the humanity 

I 97 -} 


of her gueSls, and applied herself not to that 
which kindles, but to that which extinguishes 
fire, and forgetting to put on her pot, fell to 
washing her house. 

As the messenger who had brought my veni- 
son was impatient to be dispatched, I ordered it 
to be brought and laid on the table, in the room 
where I was seated ; and the table not being 
large enough, one side, and that a very bloody 
one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered 
Mrs. Francis to be called in, in order to give 
her in§lru6lions concerning it ; in particular, 
what I would have roaSled, and what baked ; 
concluding that she would be highly pleased 
wdth the prospeftof so much money being spent 
in her house, as she might have now reason to 
expe6l, if the wind continued only a few days 
longer to blow from the same points whence 
it had blown for several weeks paSl. 

I soon saw good cause, I muSl confess, to de- 
spise my own sagacity. Mrs. Francis having 
received her orders, without making any an- 
swer, snatched the side from the floor, which 
remained Stained with blood, and bidding a ser- 
vant take up that on the table, left the room 
with no pleasant countenance, muttering to 

i: 98 3 


herself, that had she known the Utter which 
was to have been made, she would not have 
taken such pains to wash her house that morn- 
ing. " If this was gentility, much good may it 
do such gentlefolks, for her part she had no 
notion of it ! " 

From these murmurs I received two hints. 
The one, that it was not from a miSlake of our 
inclination that the good woman had Starved 
us, but from wisely consulting her own dignity, 
or rather, perhaps, her vanity, to which our 
hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. The other, 
that I was now sitting in a damp room ; a cir- 
cumSlance, which, tho' it had hitherto escaped 
my notice, from the colour of the bricks, was 
by no means to be negle6led in a valetudinary 

My wife, who, besides discharging excel- 
lently well her own, and all the tender offices 
becoming the female charafter ; who besides 
being a faithful friend, an amiable companion, 
and a tender nurse, could likewise supply the 
wants of a decrepit husband, and Occasionally 
performhis part, had, before this,discovered the 
immoderate attention to neatness in Mrs. Fran- 
cis, and provided againSl its ill consequences. 

C 99 3 

She had found, tho' not under the same roof, a 
very snug apartment belonging to Mr. Francis, 
and which had escaped the mop, by his wife's 
being satisfied it could not possibly be visited 
by gentlefolks. 

This was a dry, warm, oaken floored barn, 
lined on both sides with wheaten Straw, and 
opening at one end into a green field, and a 
beautiful prospeft. Here, without hesitation, 
she ordered the cloth to be laid, and came has- 
tily to snatch me from worse perils by water 
than the common dangers of the sea. 

Mrs. Francis, who could not tru§l her own 
ears, or could not believe a footman in so extra- 
ordinary a phsenomenon, followed my wife, and 
asked her if she had indeed ordered the cloth 
to be laid in the barn : she answered in the af- 
firmative ; upon which Mrs. Francis declared 
she would not dispute her pleasure, but it was 
the firSl time, she believed, that quality had ever 
preferred a barn to a house. She shewed at the 
same time the mo§l pregnant marks of con- 
tempt, and again lamented the labour she had 
undergone, through her ignorance of the ab- 
surd taiSle of her gueSls. 

At length we were seated in one of themoSl 

t loo :i 


pleasant spots, I believe, in the kingdom, and 
were regaled with our beans and bacon, in 
which there was nothing deficient but the quan- 
tity. This defe6l was, however, so deplorable, 
that we had consumed our whole dish, before 
we had visibly lessened our hunger. We now 
waited with impatience the arrival of our sec- 
ond course, which necessity and not luxury had 
diftated. This was ajointof mutton, which Mrs. 
Francis had been ordered to provide ; but when, 
being tired with expe6tation, we ordered our 
servants to see for something else^ we were in- 
formed that there was nothing else ; on which 
Mrs. Francis being summoned, declared there 
was no such thing as rnuttonto be had at Ryde. 
When I expressed some a§lonishment at their 
having no butcher in a village so situated, she 
answered they had a very good one, and one 
that killed all sorts of meat in season, beef two 
or three times a year, and mutton the whole year 
round ; but that it being then beans and pease 
time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not 
sure of selling it. This she had not thought wor- 
thy of communication, anymore than that there 
lived a fisherman at next door, who was then 
provided v^th plenty of soals, and whitings, and 


lobSlers, far superior to those which adorn a 
city-feaSl. This discovery being made by ac- 
cident, we completed the be§l,the pleasanteSl, 
and the merrieSl meal, with more appetite, more 
real, solid luxury, and more festivity, than was 
ever seen in an entertainment at White's. 

It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs. 
Francis should be so negligent of providing for 
her gueSls, as she may seem to be thus inatten- 
tive to her ovm interest : but this was not the 
case ; for having clapt a poll-tax on our heads 
at our arrival, and determined at what price to 
discharge our bodies from her house, the less 
she suffered any other to share in the levy, the 
clearer it came into her own pocket ; and it was 
better to get twelve-pence in a shilling than ten- 
pence, which latter would be the case if she af- 
forded us fish at any rate. 

Thus we paSl a mo§l agreeable day, ov^ng 
to good appetites and good humour; two hearty 
feeders, which will devour with satisfa6lion 
whatever food you place before them: whereas, 
without these, the elegance of St. James's, the 
charde, the Perigord-pye, or the ortolan, the 
venison, the turtle, or the cuSlard, may titillate 
the throat, but will never convey happiness 

[ 102 ^ 


to the heart, or chearfulness to the counte- 

As the wind appeared §lill immoveable, my 
wife proposed my lying on shore. I presently 
agreed, tho' in defiance of an a6l of parliament, 
by which persons wandering abroad, and lodg- 
ing in alehouses, are decreed to be rogues and 
vagabonds ; and this too after having been very 
singularly officious in putting that law in exe- 

My wife having reconnoitred the house, re- 
ported, that there was one room in which were 
two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that she 
and Harriot should occupy one, and myself take 
possession of the other. She added likewise an 
ingenious recommendation of this room, to one 
who had so long been in a cabin, which it ex- 
a6lly resembled, as it was sunk down with age 
on one side, and was in the form of a ship v^th 
gunnels to. 

For my own part, I make little doubt but this 
apartment was an ancient temple, built with the 
materials of a v^eck,and, probably, dedicated 
to Neptune, inhonourof THE Blessing sent by 
him to the inhabitants, such blessings having, in 
all ages, been very common to them. The tim- 


ber employed in it confirms this opinion, being 
such as is seldom used by any but ship-builders. 
I do not find, indeed, any mention of this mat- 
ter in Hearne ; but, perhaps, its antiquity was 
too modern to deserve his notice. Certain it is, 
that this island of Wight was not an early con- 
vert to Christianity; nay, there is some reason 
to doubt whether it was ever entirely con verted. 
But I have only time to touch slightly on things 
of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a 
society whose peculiar profession it is to dis- 
cuss and develope. 

§ Sunday, July 19, This morning early I sum- 
moned Mrs. Francis, in order to pay her the 
preceding day's account. As I could recoUeft 
only two or three articles, I thought there was no 
necessity of pen and ink. In a single instance 
only we had exceeded what the law allows gra- 
tis to a foot soldier on his march, viz. vinegar, 
salt, &c. and dressing his meat. I found, how- 
ever, I was mistaken in my calculation ; for 
when the good woman attended with her bill, 
it contained as follow. 

£ s. d. 

Bread and beer .0 024 

Wind 020 


Rum 020 

Dressing dinner 030 

Tea 016 

Firing 010 

Lodging o 016 

Servants lodging 006 

£0 13 10 

Now that five people, and two servants, 
should live a day and night at a public house for 
so small asum, will appearincredible to any per- 
son in London above the degree of a chimney- 
sweeper ; but more aSlonishing will it seem, that 
these people should remain so long at such a 
house, without tabling any other delicacy than 
bread, small beer, a tea cup full of milk called 
cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by 
their own materials, and one bottle of wind, of 
which we only taSled a single glass, tho' possi- 
bly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder 
of the bottle. 

This wm(i is aliquor of English manufa6lure, 
and its flavour is thought very delicious by the 
generality of the Enghsh, who drink it in great 
quantities. Every seventh year is thought to 
produce as much as the other six. It is then 
drank so plentifully, that the whole nation are 


in a manner intoxicated by it, and consequently- 
very little business is carried on at that season. 

It resembles in colour the red wine which is 
imported from Portugal, as it doth in its intox- 
icating quality ; hence, and from this agreement 
in the orthography, the one is often confounded 
with the other, tho' both are seldom eSleemed 
by the same person. It is to be had in every par- 
ish in the kingdom, and a pretty large quan- 
tity is consumed in the metropolis, where sev- 
eral taverns are set apart solely for the vendi- 
tion of this liquor, the masters never dealing in 
any other. 

The disagreement in our computation pro- 
duced some small remonstrance to Mrs. Fran- 
cis on my side ; but this received an immediate 
answer, " She scorned to overcharge gentle- 
men : her house had been always frequented 
by the very be§l gentry of the island ; and she 
had never had a bill found fault with in her life, 
tho' she had lived upwards of forty years in the 
house, and v^thin that time the greateSl gentry 
in Hampshire had been at it, and that Lawyer 
Willis never went to any other, when he came 
to those parts. That for her part she did not get 
her livelihood by travellers, who were gone and 
I 106 3 


away,and sheneverexpe6led to see them more, 
but that her neighbours might come again ; 
wherefore, to be sure, they had the only right 
to complain." 

She was proceeding thus, and from her vol- 
ubility of tongue seemed likely to Stretch the 
discourse to an immoderate length, when I sud- 
denly cut all short by paying the bill. 

This morning our ladies went to church, 
more, I fear, from curiosity than religion ; they 
were attended by the captain in a mo§l military 
attire, with his cockade in his hat, and his sword 
by his side. So unusual an appearance in this 
little chappel drew the attention of all present, 
and probably disconcerted the women, who 
were in dishabille, and wished themselves dre§l, 
for the sake of the curate, who was the great- 
est of their beholders. 

While I was left alone, I received a visit from 
Mr. Francis himself, who was much more con- 
siderable as a farmer, than as an innholder. 
Indeed he left the latter entirely to the care of 
his wife, and he a6ted wisely, I believe, in so 

As nothing more remarkable paSt on this 
day, I will close it with the account of these 

[ 107 ] 


two chara6lers, as far as a few days residence 
could inform me of them. If they should ap- 
pear as new to the reader as they did to me, he 
will not be displeased at finding them here. 

This amiable couple seemed to border hard 
on their grand climafteric; nor indeed were 
they shy of owning enough to fix their ages 
within a year or two of that time. They ap- 
peared to be rather proud of having employed 
their time well, than ashamed of having lived 
so long; the only reason which I could ever as- 
sign, why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen 
too, should desire to be thought younger than 
they really are by the cotemporaries of their 
grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too haSlily 
credit appearances, might doubt whether they 
had made so good a use of their time as I would 
insinuate, since there was no appearance of any 
thing but poverty, want, and wretchedness 
about their house ; nor could they produce any 
thing to a customer in exchange for his money, 
but a few bottles of windy and spirituous liquors, 
and some very bad ale, to drink ; with ruSly ba- 
con, and w^orse cheese, to eat. But then it should 
be considered, on the other side, that whatever 
they received was almoSl as entirely clear profit 

I 108 ;] 


as the blessing of a wreck itself ; such an inn 
being the very reverse of a coffee-house : for 
here you can neither sit for nothing, nor have 
any thing for your money. 

Again, as many marks of want abounded 
every where, so were the marks of antiquity 
visible. Scarce any thing was to be seen which 
had not some scar upon it, made by the hand of 
time; not an utensil, it was manifeSl, had been 
purchased within a dozen years la§l paSl ; so 
that whatever money had come into the house 
during that period, at leaSl, muSl have remained 
in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or 
other perishable commodities ; but these were 
supplied by a small portion of the fruits of the 
farm, in which the farmer allowed he had a very 
good bargain. In fa6l, it is inconceivable what 
sums may be coUefted by Starving only, and 
how easy it is for a man to die rich, if he will 
but be contented to live miserable. 

Nor is there in this kind of Starving anything 
so terrible as some apprehend. It neither waSles 
a man's flesh, nor robs himof hischearfulness. 
The famous Cornaro's case well proves the con- 
trary ; and so did farmer Francis, who was of 
a round iSlature, had a plump round face, v^th 

I 109 ] 


a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an 
air of wretchedness, rather from his coat's age, 
than from his own. 

The truth is, there is a certain diet which 
emaciates men more than any possible degree 
of abstinence ; tho' I do not remember to have 
seen any caution againSl it, either in Cheney, 
Arbuthnot, or in any other modern writer on 
regimen. Nay, the very name is not, I believe, 
in the learned Dr. James's diftionary. All 
which is the more extraordinary, as it is a very 
common food in this kingdom and the college 
themselves were not long since very liberally 
entertained with it, by the present attorney and 
other eminent lawyers, in Lincoln's-inn hall, 
and were all made horribly sick by it. 

But though it should not be found among our 
English physical writers, we may be assured 
of meeting with it among the Greeks : for no- 
thing considerable in nature escapes their no- 
tice ; though many things considerable in them, 
it is to be feared, have escaped the notice of 
their readers. The Greeks then, to all such as 
feed too voraciously on this diet, give the name 
of Heautofagi, which our physicians will, I 
suppose, translate men that eat themselves. 


As nothing is so deSlructive to the body as 
this kind of food, so nothing is so plentiful and 
cheap ; but it was, perhaps, the only cheap thing 
the farmer disliked. Probably living much on 
fish might produce this disguSl ; for Diodorus 
Siculus attributes the same aversion in a peo- 
pleof Ethiopia to the same cause : he calls them 
the fish-eaters ; and asserts, that they cannot 
be brought to eat a single meal W\\h the Heau- 
tofagi by any persuasion, threat, or violence 
w^hatever, not even though they should kill 
their children before their faces. 

What hath puzzled our physicians, and pre- 
vented them from setting this matter in the 
clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, 
arising from a very excusable ignorance, that 
the passions of men are capable of swallowing 
food as well as their appetites ; that the former, 
in feeding, resemble the Slate of those animals 
who chew the cud ; and therefore such men, in 
some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, 
and as it were, to devour their ovm entrails. 
And hence ensues a meagre aspeft, and thin 
habit of body, as surely as from what is called 
a consumption. 

Our farmer was one of these. He had no 

C 111 J 


more passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethi- 
opian fisher. He wished not for any thing, 
thought not of anything; indeed, he scarce did 
any thing, or said any thing. Here I cannot be 
underiSlood §tri6lly, for then I muSl describe a 
non-entity ; whereas I would rob him of no- 
thing but that free-agency which is the cause 
of all the corruption, and of all the misery of 
human nature. No man, indeed, ever did more 
than the farmer, for he was an absolute slave 
to labour all the week; but, in truth, as my sa- 
gacious reader mu§l have atfirSl apprehended, 
when I said, he resigned the care of the house 
to his wife, I meant more than I then expressed ; 
even the house and all that belonged to it ; for 
he was really a farmer, only under the direc- 
tion of his wife. In a word, so composed, so 
serene, so placid a countenance I never saw; 
and he satisfied himself by answering to every 
question he was asked ; " I don't know any 
thing about it, sir, I leaves all that to my wife." 
Now as a couple of this kind would, like two 
vessels of oil, have made no composition in life, 
and for want of all savour muSl have palled 
every taSle ; nature or fortune, or both of them, 
took care to provide a proper quantity of acid. 


in the materials that formed the wife, and to 
render her a perfe6l Helpmate for so tranquil 
a husband. She abounded in whatsoever he 
was defe6live ; that is to say, in almoSl every 
thing. She was, indeed, as vinegar to oil, or a 
brisk wdnd to a Standing-pool, and preserved 
all from Stagnation and corruption. 

Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe 
survey of a fellow-comedian, burSl forth into 
this exclamation, " If that fellow be not a rogue, 
God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." 
Whether he guessed right or no, is not worth 
my while to examine. Certain it is, that the 
latter, having wrought his features into a proper 
harmony to become the chara6lers of lago, 
Shylock, and others of the same ca§l, gave a 
semblance of truth to the observation, that was 
sufficient to confirm the wit of it. Indeed, we 
may remark, in favour of the physiognomist, 
though the law hath made him a rogue and 
vagabond, that nature is seldom curious in her 
works within, without employing some little 
pains on the outside ; and this more particularly 
in mischievous chara6ters, in forming which, 
as Mr. Derham observes, in venomous insefts, 
as the Sting or saw of a wasp, she is sometimes 

C 113 3 


wonderfully induSlrious. Now, when she hath 
thus completely armed her hero, to carry on a 
war with man, she never fails of furnishing that 
innocent lambkin with some means of knowing 
his enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus 
she hath been observed to a6l in the case of a 
rattle-snake, which never meditates a human 
prey without giving warning of his approach. 
This observation will, I am convinced, hold 
moSl true, if applied to the moiSl venomous in- 
dividuals of human inse6ls. A tyrant, a trick- 
ster, and a bully, generally wear the marks of 
their several dispositions in their countenances ; 
so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all 
other females of the hke kind. But, perhaps, 
nature had never afforded a Stronger example 
of all this, than in the case of Mrs. Francis. 
She was a short, squat woman ; her head was 
closely joined to her shoulders, where it was 
fixed somewhat awry ; every feature of her 
countenance was sharp and pointed ; her face 
was furrowed with the small-pox ; and her com- 
plexion, which seemed to be able to turn milk 
to curds, not a little resembled in colour such 
milk as had already undergone that operation. 
She appeared indeed to have many symptoms 

t 114 3 


of a deep jaundice in her look ; but the Strength 
and firmness of her voice over-balanced them 
all : the tone of this w^as a sharp treble at a 
distance ; for, I seldom heard it on the same 
floor ; but was usually waked with it in the 
morning, and entertained with it almoSl con- 
tinually through the whole day. 

Though vocal be usually put in opposition 
to instrumental music, I question whether this 
might not be thought to partake of the nature 
of both ; for she played on two instruments, 
which she seemed to keep for no other use from 
morning till night; these were two maids, or 
rather scolding- Stocks, who, I suppose, by some 
means or other, earned their board, and she 
gave them their lodging gratis, or for no other 
service than to keep her lungs in conStant ex- 

She differed, as I have said, in every partic- 
ular from her husband ; but very remarkably 
in this, that as it was impossible to displease him, 
so it was as impossible to please her; and as no 
art could remove a smile from his countenance, 
so could no art carry it into hers. If her bills 
were remonStrated againSt, she was offended 
with the censure of her fair-dealing ; if they 

c: 115 3 


were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit sar- 
casm on her folly, which might have set down 
larger prices with the same success. On this 
latter hint she did indeed improve ; for she daily 
raised some of her articles. A pennyworth of 
fire was to-day rated at a shilling, to-morrow 
at eighteen-pence ; and if she dreSt us two dishes 
for two shillings on Saturday, we paid half a 
crown for the cookery of one on the Sunday ; 
and whenever she was paid, she never left the 
room without lamenting the small amount of 
her bill ; saying, she knew not how it was that 
others got their money by gentlefolks, but, for 
her part, she had not the art of it. When she 
was asked why she complained, when she was 
paid all she demanded, she answered, she could 
not deny that, nor did she know she omitted 
any thing, but that it was but a poor bill for 
gentlefolks to pay. 

I accounted for all this by her having heard, 
that it is a maxim with the principal inn-hold- 
ers on the continent, to levy considerable sums 
on their gueSls, who travel with many horses 
and servants, though such gue§ls should eat lit- 
tle or nothing in their houses ; the method be- 
ing, I believe, in such cases, to lay a capitation 


on the horses, and not on their maSlers. But 
she did not consider, that in mo§l of these inns 
a very great degree of hunger, without any de- 
gree of delicacy, may be satisfied ; and that in 
all such inns there is some appearance, at lea§l, 
of provision, as well as of a man cook to dress 
it, one of the ho§llers being always furnished 
with a cook's cap, waistcoat and apron, ready 
to attend gentlemen and ladies on their sum- 
mons ; that the case therefore of such inns dif- 
fered from hers, where there was nothing to 
eat or to drink ; and in reality no house to in- 
habit, no chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie in; 
that one third or fourth part therefore of the 
levy imposed at inns was, in truth, a higher tax 
than the whole was when laid on in the other, 
where, in order to raise a small sum, a man is 
obliged to submit to pay as many various ways 
for the same thing as he doth to the government 
for the light which enters through his own win- 
dow into his own house, from his own eSlate ; 
such are the articles of bread and beer, firing, 
eating, and dressing dinner. 

The foregoing is a veryimperfeft sketch of 
this extraordinary couple ; for every thing is 
here lowered, instead of being heightened. 

I 117 :i 


Those who would see them set forth in more 
lively colours, and with the proper ornaments, 
may read the descriptions of the furies in some 
of the classical poets, or of the §loic philoso- 
phers in the works of Lucian. 
§ Monday, July ^o. This day nothing remark- 
able passed ; Mrs. Francis levied atax of four- 
teen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled our- 
selves at dinner with venison and good claret of 
our ovm ; and, in the afternoon, the women, at- 
tended by the captain, walked to see a delight- 
ful scene two miles distant, wdth the beauties of 
which they declared themselves moSl highly 
charmed, at their return, as well as with the 
goodness of the lady of the mansion, who had 
slipt out of the way, that my v^fe and her com- 
pany might refresh themselves with the flowers 
and fruits v^th which her garden abounded. 
§ Tuesday y July 9.1. This day, having paid our 
taxes of yeSlerday, we were permitted to re- 
gale ourselves with more venison. Some of this 
we would willingly have exchanged for mut- 
ton ; but no such flesh was to be had nearer 
than Portsmouth, from whence it would have 
co§l more toconvey a jointto us, than the freight 
of a Portugal ham from Lisbon to London 

i: 118 3 


amounts to: for tho' the water-carriage be 
somewhat cheaper here than at Deal, yet can 
you find no waterman who will go on board 
his boat, unless by two or three hours rowing 
he can get drunk for the residue of the week. 

And here I have an opportunity, which pos- 
sibly may not offer again, of publishing some 
observations on that political oeconomy of this 
nation, which, as it concerns only the regula- 
tion of the mob, is below the notice of our great 
men ; tho', on the due regulation of this order 
depend many emoluments which the great men 
themselves, or, at lea§l, many who tread close 
on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dan- 
gers, which may some time or other arise from 
introducing a pure Slate of anarchy among 
them. I will represent the case as it appears to 
me, very fairly and impartially, between the 
mob and their betters. 

The whole mischief which infe6ls this part 
of our oeconomy, arises from the vague and un- 
certain use of a word called Liberty, of which, 
as scarce any two men with whom I have ever 
conversed, seem to have one and the same idea, 
I am inclined to doubt whether there be any 
simple universal notion represented by this 


word, or whether it conveys any clearer or more 
determinate idea, than some of those old Punic 
compositions of syllables, preserved in one of 
the comedies of Plautus, but at present, as I con- 
ceive, not supposed to be understood by any 

By liberty, however, I apprehend, is com- 
monly understood the power of doing what we 
please : not absolutely ; for then it would be in- 
consistent with law, by whose controul the lib- 
erty of the freeSt people, except only the Hot- 
tentots and wild Indians, muSt always be re- 

But, indeed, however largely we extend, or 
however moderately we confine the sense of 
the word, no politician will, I presume, contend 
that it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be 
with the same extent enjoyed by every mem- 
ber of society; no such polity having been ever 
found, unless among those vile people juSt be- 
fore commemorated. Among the Greeks and 
Romans, the servile and free conditions were 
opposed to each other ; and no man who had 
the misfortune to be enrolled under the former, 
could lay any claim to liberty, 'till the right was 
conveyed to him by that maSter whose slave 


he was, either by the means of conquest, of 
purchase, or of birth. 

This was the iftate of all the free nations in 
the world ; and this, 'till very lately, was un- 
derstood to be the case of our own. 

I will not indeed say this is the case at pre- 
sent, the loweSl class of our people having 
shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, 
and become not only as free, but even freer, 
than moSt of their superiors. I believe it can- 
not be doubted, tho' perhaps we have no recent 
instance of it, that the personal attendance of 
every man who hath £300 per annum, in par- 
liament, is indispensibly his duty ; and that, if 
the citizens and burgesses of any city or bor- 
ough shall chuse such a one, however relu6lant 
he appear, he may be obliged to attend, and be 
forcibly brought to his duty by the seijeant at 

Again, there are numbers of subordinate of- 
fices, some of which are of burthen, and oth- 
ers of expence in the civil government : all of 
which, persons who are qualified are liable to 
have imposed on them, may be obliged to un- 
dertake and properly execute, notwithstanding 
any bodily labour, or even danger, to which they 

C: 121 ;] 


may subjeft themselves, under the penalty of 
fines and imprisonment ; nay, and what may 
appear somewhat hard, may be compelled to 
satisfy the losses which are eventually incident, 
to that of sheriff in particular, out of their own 
private fortunes ; and tho' this should prove 
the ruin of a family, yet the public, to whom 
the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to 
preserve its officer harmless, let his innocence 
appear ever so clearly. 

I purposely omit the mention of those mili- 
tary or militiary duties, which our old constitu- 
tion laid upon its greatest members. These 
might, indeed, supply their poSls with some 
other able-bodied men ; but, if no such could 
have been found, the obligation nevertheless 
remained, and they were compellable to serve 
in their own proper persons. 

The only one, therefore, who is possessed of 
absolute liberty, is the loweSl member of the 
society, who, if he prefers hunger or the v^ld 
produ6l of the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, 
with the indulgence of ease and laziness, to a 
food a little more delicate, but purchased at the 
expence of labour, may lay himself under a 
shade ; nor can be forced to take the other al- 

C 122 ] 


ternative from that which he hath, I will not 
affirm whether wisely or foolishly, chosen. 

Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the laSl 
vagrant a6t, where all such persons are com- 
pellable to work for the usual and accuSlomed 
wages allowed in the place ; but this is a clause 
little known to the juSlices of the peace, and 
leaSl likely to be executed by those who do 
know it, as they know likewise that it is formed 
on the antient power of the juSlices to fix and 
settle these wages every year, making proper 
allowances for the scarcity and plenty of the 
times, the cheapness and dearness of the place ; 
and that the usual and accustomed wages, are 
words withoutanyforceormeaning,whenthere 
are no such ; but every man spunges and raps 
whatever he can get ; and will haggle as long 
and Struggle as hard to cheat his employer of 
two pence in a day's labour, as an hone§l trades- 
man will to cheat his customers of the same 
sum in a yard of cloth or silk. 

It is a great pity then that this power, or 
rather this praftice, was not revived ; but this 
having been so long omitted, that it is become 
obsolete, will be beSl done by a new law, in 
which this power, as well as the consequent 


power of forcing the poor to labour at a mod- 
erate and reasonable rate, should be well con- 
sidered, and their execution facilitated : for gen- 
tlemen who give their time and labour gratis, 
and even voluntarily, to the public, have aright 
to expeftthat all their business be made as easy 
as possible ; and to ena6l laws without doing 
this, is to fill our Statute-books, much too full 
already, Slill fuller with dead letter, of no use 
but to the printer of the a6ls of parliament. 

That the evil which I have here pointed at is 
of itself worth redressing, is, I apprehend, no 
subjeft of dispute : for why should any persons 
in distress be deprived of the assistance of their 
fello w-subj efts, when they are willing amply to 
reward them for their labour ? or, why should 
the lowest of the people be permitted to exa6t 
ten times the value of their work ? For those 
exaftions increase with the degrees of neces- 
sity in their obje6t, insomuch that on the for- 
mer side many are horribly imposed upon, and 
thatoften in no trifling matters. Iwasverywell 
assured, that at Deal no less than ten guineas 
was required, and paid by the supercargo of an 
Indiaman, for carrying him on board two miles 
from the shore,when she was juSt readyto sail; 

[ 124 ] 


so that his necessity, as his pillager well under- 
stood, was absolute. Again, many others whose 
indignation will not submit to such plunder, are 
forced to refuse the assistance, tho' they are of- 
ten great sufferers by so doing. On the latter 
side, the lowest of the people are encouraged 
in laziness and idleness ; while they live by a 
twentieth part of the labour that ought tomain- 
tain them, which is diametricallyoppositetothe 
interest of the public; for that requires a great 
deal to be done, not to be paid, for a little. And 
moreover, they are confirmed in habits of ex- 
aftion, and are taught to consider the distresses 
of their superiors as their own fair emolument. 
But enough of this matter, of which I at firSt 
intended only to convey a hint to those who are 
alone capable of applying the remedy, tho' they 
are the laSt to whom the notice of those evils 
would occur, without some such monitor as my- 
self, who am forced to travel about the world in 
theformofapassenger. Icannot but say I heart- 
ily v^sh our governors would attentively con- 
sider this method of fixing the price of labour, 
and by that means of compelling the poor to 
work, since the due execution of such powers 
will, I apprehend, be found the true and only 

[ 125 ] . 


means of making themuseful, and of ad vancing 
trade, from its present visibly declining Slate, to 
the height to which Sir William Petty, in his 
Political Arithmetic, thinks it capable of being 

In the afternoon the lady of the above-men- 
tioned mansion called at our inn, and left her 
compliments to us v^ith Mrs. Francis, v^ith an 
assurance, that while we continued wind-bound 
in that place, where she feared we could be but 
indifferently accommodated, we were extreme- 
ly welcome to the use of any thing which her 
garden or her house afforded. So polite a mes- 
sage convinced us, in spite of some arguments 
to the contrary, that we were not on the coaSt 
of Africa, or on some island, where the few sav- 
age inhabitants have little of human in them be- 
sides their form. 

And here I mean nothing less than to dero- 
gate from the merit of this lady, who is not only 
extremely polite in her behaviour to Strangers 
of her ovm rank, but so extremely good and 
charitable to all her poor neighbours, who §land 
in need of her assistance, that she hath the uni- 
versal love and praises of all who live near her. 
But, in reality, how little doth the acquisition of 

I 136 ;] 


so valuable a charafter, and the full indulgence 
of so worthy a disposition, co§t those who pos- 
sess it ? Both are accomplished by the very 
offals which fall from a table moderately plen- 
tiful. That they are enjoyed therefore by so 
few, arises truly from their being so few who 
have any such disposition to gratify, or who aim 
at any such character. 

§ Wednesday, July 22. This morning, after 
having been mulfted as usual, we dispatched 
a servant with proper acknowledgments of the 
lady's goodness ; but confined our wants en- 
tirely to the produ6lions of her garden. He 
soon returned, in company with the gardener, 
both richly laden with almoSl every particular 
which a garden at this mo§l fruitful season of 
the year produces. 

While we were regaling ourselves with these, 
towards the close of our dinner, we received or- 
ders from our commander, who had dined that 
day with some inferior officers on board a man 
of war, to return inSlantly to the ship ; for that 
the wind was become favourable, and he should 
weigh that evening. These orders were soon 
followed by the captain himself, who was Slill 
in the utmoSl hurry, tho' the occasion of it had 

I 127 3 


long since ceased : for the wind had, indeed, a 
little shifted that afternoon, but was before this 
very quietly set down in its old quarters. 

This laSl was a lucky hit for me : for, as the 
captain, to whose orders we resolved to pay no 
obedience, unless delivered by himself, did not 
return till paSl six, so much time seemed re- 
quisite to put up the furniture of our bed-cham- 
ber or dining-room, ( for almoSl every article, 
even to some of the chairs, were either our own 
or the captain's property) so much more in con- 
veying it as well as myself, as dead a luggage 
as any, to the shore, and thence to the ship, that 
the night threatened firSl to overtake us. A 
terrible circum§lance to me, in my decayed 
condition ; especially as very heavy showers of 
rain, attended with a high wind, continued to 
fall incessantly ; the being carried thro' which 
two miles in the dark, in a wet and open boat, 
seemed little less than certain death. 

However, as my commander was absolute, his 
orders peremptory, and my obedience neces- 
sary, I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy 
which hath been of notable use to me in the 
latter part of my life, and which is contained 
in this hemistich of Virgil, — 
C 128 3 



*' Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est." 

The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think 
I rightly understood and rightly applied. 

As I was therefore to be entirely passive in 
my motion, I resolved to abandon myself to the 
conduft of those who were to carry me into a 
cart, when it returned from unloading the 

But before this, the captain perceiving what 
had happened in the clouds, and that the wind 
remained as much his enemy as ever, came up 
Stairs to me, wdth a reprieve till the morning. 
This was, I own, very agreeable news, and I 
little regretted the trouble of refurnishing my 
apartment, by sending back for the goods. 

Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this. 
As she understood the reprieve to be only till 
the morning, she saw nothing but lodging to be 
possibly added, out of which she was to dedu6t 
fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, 
would scarce pay her for her trouble. She ex- 
erted therefore all the ill humour of which she 
was mistress, and did all she could to thwart 
and perplex everything during the whole even- 

§ Thursday, July 23' Early in the morning the 
i 129 ] 


captain who had remained on shore all night 
came to visit us, and to press us to make haSle 
on board. " I am resolved," says he, "not to 
lose a moment, now the wind is coming about 
fair : for my own part, I never was surer of a 
wind in all my life." I use his very words ; nor 
will I presume to interpret or comment upon 
them farther, than by observing that they were 
spoke in the utmo§l hurry. 

We promised to be ready as soon as break- 
faSl was over; but this was not so soon as was 
expefted : for in removing our goods the even- 
ing before, the tea-cheSl was unhappily loiSl. 

Every place was immediately searched, and 
many where it was impossible for it to be ; for 
this was a loss of much greater consequence, 
than it may at fir§t seem to many of my readers. 
Ladies and valetudinarians do not easily dis- 
pense v^th the use of this sovereign cordial, in 
a single instance ; but to undertake a long voy- 
age without any probability of being supplied 
with it the whole way, was above the reach of 
patience. And yet, dreadful as this calamity 
was, it seemed unavoidable. The whole town 
of Ryde could not supply a single leaf; for as 
to what Mrs. Francis and the shop called by 

[ 130 3 


that name, it was not of Chinese growth. It did 
not indeed in the leaSl resemble tea, either in 
smell or taSle, or in any particular, unless in 
being a leaf : for it was in truth no other than 
a tobacco of the mundungus species. And as 
for the hopes of relief in any other port, they 
were not to be depended upon ; for the captain 
had positively declared he was sure of a wind, 
and would let go his anchor no more till he 
arrived in the Tajo. 

When a good deal of time had been spent, 
moSl of it indeed wa§led on this occasion, a 
thought occurred, which every one wondered 
at its not having presented itself the fir§l mo- 
ment. This was to apply to the good lady, who 
could not fail of pitying and relieving such 
distress. A messenger was immediately dis- 
patched, with an account of our misfortune, till 
whose return we employed ourselves in pre- 
paratives for our departure, that we might have 
nothing to do but to swallow our breakfaSl 
when it arrived. The tea-che§l, tho' of no less 
consequence to us than the military cheSl to 
a general, was given up as loSl, or rather as 
Stolen ; for tho' I would not, for the world, men- 
tion any particular name, it is certain we had 


suspicions, and all, I am afraid, fell on the same 

The man returned from the worthy lady with 
much expedition, and brought with him a can- 
ister of tea, dispatched with so true a generos- 
ity, as well as politeness, that if our voyage had 
been as long again, we should have incurred no 
danger of being brought to a short allowance 
in this mo§l important article. At the very same 
inSlant likewise arrived William the footman, 
with our own tea-che§l. It had been, indeed, 
left in the hoy, when the other goods were re- 
landed, as William, when he firSl heard it was 
missing, had suspe6led ; and whence, had not 
the owner of the hoy been unluckily out of the 
way, he had retrieved it soon enough to have 
prevented our giving the lady an opportunity 
of displaying some part of her goodness. 

To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural 
a suggestion to have escaped any one, nor did 
it escape being mentioned by many of us ; but 
we were dissuaded from it by my wife's maid, 
who perfeftly well remembered she had left 
the cheSl in the bed-chamber; for that she had 
never given it out of her hand in her way to or 
from the hoy ; but William, perhaps, knew the 

I 132 ;] 


maid better, and beSl underSlood how far she 
was to be believed ; for otherwise he would 
hardly of his own accord, after hearing her de- 
clarations, have hunted out the hoyman, with 
much pains and difficulty. 

Thus ended this scene, which begun v^th such 
appearance of di§lress, and ended with becom- 
ing the subje6l of mirth and laughter. 

Nothing now remained but to pay our taxes, 
which were indeed laid with inconceivable se- 
verity. Lodging was raised six-pence, fire in 
the same proportion, and even candles, which 
had hitherto escaped, were charged with a wan- 
tonness of imposition, from the beginning, and 
placed under the §lyle of oversight. We were 
raised a whole pound, whereas we had only 
burnt ten, in five nights, and the pound con- 
sisted of twenty- four. 

LaSlly, an attempt was made, which almost 
as far exceeds human credulity to believe, as it 
did human patience to submit to. This was to 
make us pay as much for existing an hour or 
two as for existing a whole day; and dressing 
dinner was introduced as an article, tho' we left 
the house before either pot or spit had ap- 
proached the fire. Here I own my patience 


failed me, and I became an example of the truth 
of the observation. That all tyranny and op- 
pression may be carried too far, and that a yoke 
maybe made too intolerable for the neck of the 
tameSl slave. When I remonSlrated with some 
w^armth againSl this grievance, Mrs. Francis 
gave me a look, and left the room, vv^ithout mak- 
ing any answer. She returned in a minute, run- 
ning to me with pen, ink, and paper in her hand, 
and desired me to make my own bill ; for she 
hoped, she said, I did not expe6l that her house 
was to be dirtied, and her goods spoiled and 
consumed for nothing. " The whole is but thir- 
teen shillings. Can gentlefolks lie a whole night 
at a public house for less ? If they can, I am sure 
it is time to give off being a landlady : but pay 
me what you please ; I would have people know 
that I value my money as little as other folks. 
But I was always a fool, as I says to my hus- 
band, and never knows which side my bread is 
buttered of. And yet, to be sure, your honour 
shall be my warning not to be bit so again. 
Some folks knows better than others some, how 
to make their bills. Candles ! why, yes, to be 
sure ; why should not travellers pay for can- 
dles ? I am sure I pays for my candles, and the 


chandler pays the King's Majesty for them ; 
and if he did not, I muSl, so as it comes to the 
same thing in the end. To be sure I am out of 
sixteens at present, but these burn as white and 
as clear, tho' not quite so large. I expefts my 
chandler here soon, or I would send to Ports- 
mouth, if your honour was to Slay any time 
longer. But when folks Slays only for a wind, 
you knows there can be no dependance on 
such ! '' Here she put on a little slyness of as- 
pe6l, and seemed willing to submit to interrup- 
tion. I interrupted her, accordingly, by throw- 
ing down half a guinea, and declared I had no 
more English money, which was indeed true ; 
and as she could not immediately change the 
thirty-six shilling pieces, it put a final end to 
the dispute. Mrs. Francis soon left the room, 
and we soon after left the house ; nor would 
this good woman see us, or wish us a good voy- 

I mu§l not, however, quit this place, where 
we had been so ill-treated, v^thout doing it im- 
partial juSlice, and recording what may with 
the SlrifteSl truth be said in its favour. 

FirSl then, as to its situation, it is, I think, 
moSl delightful, and in the moSl pleasant spot 

C 135 ] 


in the whole island. It is true it wants the ad- 
vantage of that beautifulriver, whichleadsfrom 
Newport to Cowes : but the prospe6t here ex- 
tending to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, 
Spithead,and St. Helen's, would be more than 
a recompence for the loss of the Thames itself, 
even in the mo!§l delightful part of Berkshire or 
Buckinghamshire, tho' another Denham, or an- 
other Pope, should unite in celebrating it. For 
my own part, I confess myself so entirely fond 
of a sea prospe6t, that I think nothing on the 
land can equal it; and if it be set off with ship- 
ping, I desire to borrow no ornament from the 
terra Jinna. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, 
the nobleSl objeft which the art of man hath 
ever produced ; and far beyond the power of 
those archite6ls who deal in brick, in Slone, or 
in marble. 

When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of 
the beSl of men and of ministers, used to equip 
us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies of 
ta§le mu§lhave allowed that he, at leaSl, treated 
the nation with a fine sight for their money. A 
much finer, indeed, than the same expence in an 
encampment could have produced. For what, 
indeed, is the beSl idea which the prospe6l of a 

[ 136 -} 


number of huts can furnish to the mind, but of 
a number of men forming themselves into a so- 
ciety, before the art of building more substan- 
tial houses was known ? This, perhaps, would 
be agreeable enough ; but, in truth, there is a 
much worse idea ready to Step in before it, and 
that is of a body of cut- throats, the supports of 
tyranny, the invaders of the ju§l liberties and 
properties of mankind, the plunderers of the in- 
du§lrious, the ravishers of the chaSle, the mur- 
derers of the innocent ; and, in a word, the de- 
stroyers of the plenty, the peace, and the safety 
of their fellow-creatures. 

And what, it may be said, are these men of 
war, which seem so delightful an objeft to our 
eyes ? Are they not alike the support of tyr- 
anny, and oppression of innocence, carrying 
v^th them desolation and ruin wherever their 
maSlers please to send them. This is, indeed, 
too true ; and however the ship of war may, in 
its bulk and equipment, exceed the honeSl mer- 
chant-man, I heartily wish there was no neces- 
sity for it ; for, tho' I mu§l own the superior 
beauty of the objeft on one side, I am more 
pleased with the superior excellence of the idea, 
which I can raise in my mind on the other ; while 

[ 137 ] 


I reflefton the art and indu§lry of mankind, en- 
gaged in the daily improvements of commerce, 
to the mutual benefit of all countries, and to the 
establishment and happiness of social life. 

This pleasant village is situated on a gentle 
ascent from the water, whence it affords that 
charming prospe6l I have above described. Its 
soil is a gravel, which assisted wdth its declivity, 
preserves it always so dry, that immediately 
after the moSl violent rain, a fine lady may 
walk without wetting her silken shoes. The 
fertility of the place is apparent from its extra- 
ordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with large 
and flourishing elms, that its narrow lanes are 
a natural grove or walk, which in the regular- 
ity of its plantation vies with the power of art, 
and in its wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds 

In a field, in the ascent of this hill, about a 
quarter of a mile from the sea, Stands a neat 
little chapel. It is very small, but adequate to 
the number of inhabitants : for the parish doth 
not seem to contain above thirty houses. 

At about two miles distant from this parish, 
lives that polite and good lady to whose kind- 
ness we were so much obliged. It is placed on 


a hill, whose bottom is washed by the sea, and 
which from its eminence at top, commands a 
view ofgreat part of the island, as well as it does 
that of the opposite shore. This house was for- 
merly built by one Boyce, who, from a black- 
smith at Gosport, became possessed, by great 
success in smugghng, of ^40,000. With part 
of this he purchased an e§late here, and by 
chance, probably, fixed on this spot for build- 
ing a large house. Perhaps the convenience 
of carrying on his business, to which it is so 
well adapted, might di6late the situation to him. 
We can hardly, at leaSt, attribute it to the same 
taSle with which he furnished his house, or at 
leaSl his library, by sending an order to a book- 
seller in London, to pack him up 500 pounds 
worth of his handsomeSl books. They tellhere 
several almost incredible Slories of the igno- 
rance, the folly, and the pride which this poor 
man and his wife discovered during the short 
continuance of his prosperity ; for he did not 
long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue-so- 
licitors, and was, by extents from the Court of 
Exchequer, soon reduced below his original 
Slate, to that of confinement in the Fleet. All 
his effefts were sold, and, among the reSl, his 

I 139 :! 


books, by an au6lion at Portsmouth, for a very- 
small price ; for the bookseller was now dis- 
covered to have been perfeftlya ma§ler of his 
trade, and relying on Mr. Boyce's finding little 
time to read, had sent him not only the moiSl 
laSling wares of his shop, but duplicates of the 
same, under different titles. 

His e§late and house were purchased by a 
gentleman of these parts, whose widow now 
enjoys them, and who hath improved them, par- 
ticularly her gardens, with so elegant a taSle, 
that the painter who would assi§l his imagina- 
tion in the composition of a moSl exquisite 
landscape, or the poet, who would describe an 
earthly paradise, could nowhere furnish them- 
selves with a richer pattern. 

We left this place about eleven in the morn- 
ing, and were again conveyed with more sun- 
shine than wind aboard our ship. 

Whence our captain had acquired his power 
of prophecy, when he promised us and himself 
a prosperous wind, I will not determine ; it is 
sufficient to observe, that he was a false prophet, 
and that the weathercocks continued to point 
as before. 

He would not, however, so easily give up his 

C 140 ] 


skill in predi6lion. He persevered in assert- 
ing that the wind was changed, and, having 
weighed his anchor, fell down that afternoon 
to St. Helen's, which was at about the distance 
of five miles ; and whither his friend the tide, 
in defiance of the wind, which was moSl mani- 
festly againSl him, softly wafted him in as many 

Here about seven in the evening, before w^hich 
time we could not procure it, we sat down to 
regale ourselves with some roaSled venison, 
which was much better dreSt than we imagined 
it would be, and an excellent cold paSly which 
my wife had made at Ryde, and which we had 
reserved uncut to eat on board our ship, whither 
we all cheerfully exulted in being returned from 
the presence of Mrs. Francis, who, by the exa6l 
resemblance she bore to a fury, seemed to have 
been with no great propriety settled in Para- 

§ Friday, July 24. As we passed by Spithead 
on the preceding evening, we saw the two regi- 
ments of soldiers who were ju§l returned from 
Gibraltar and Minorca ; and this day a lieuten- 
ant belonging to one of them, who was the cap- 
tain' s nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. 

[ 141 ] 


He was what is called by some a very pretty 
fellow ; indeed much too pretty a fellow at his 
years ; for he was turned of thirty- four, though 
his address and conversation would have be- 
come him more before he had reached twenty. 
In his conversation, it is true, there was some- 
thing military enough, as it consisted chiefly of 
oaths, and of the great a6lions and v^se sayings 
of Jack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a 
phrase eternally in his mouth ; and he seemed 
to conclude that it conveyed to all the officers 
such a degree of public notoriety and impor- 
tance, that it intitled him, like the head of a pro- 
fession, or a fir§l miniSler, to be the subje6l of 
conversation among those who had not the lea§l 
personal acquaintance with him. This did not 
much surprise me, as I had seen several exam- 
ples of the same ; but the defefts in his address, 
especially to the women, were so great, that 
they seemed absolutely inconsistent with the 
behaviour of a pretty fellow, much less of one in 
a red coat; and yet, besides having been eleven 
years in the army, he had had, as his uncle in- 
formed me, an education in France. This, I 
own, would have appeared to have been abso- 
lutely thrown away, had not his animal spirits, 

[ 142 ] 


which were likewise thrown away upon him in 
great abundance, borne the visible §lamp of 
the growth of that country. The charafter, to 
which he had an indisputable title, was that 
of a merry fellow ; so very merry was he, that 
he laughed at everything he said, and always 
before he spoke. Possibly, indeed, he often 
laughed at what he did not utter, for every 
speech begun with a laugh, tho' it did not al- 
ways end with a j eSl. There was no great anal- 
ogy between the chara6lers of the uncle and the 
nephew, and yet they seem'd intirely to agree 
in enjoying the honour which the red-coat did 
to his family. This the uncle expressed with 
great pleasure in his countenance, and seemed 
desirous of shewing all present the honour 
which he had for his nephew, who, on his side, 
was at some pains to convince us of his concur- 
ring in this opinion, and, at the same time, of 
displaying the contempt he had for the parts, 
as well as the occupation of his uncle, which 
he seemed to think refle6led some disgrace on 
himself, who was a member of that profession 
which makes every man a gentleman. Not 
that I would be under§lood to insinuate, that the 
nephew endeavoured to shake off or disown his 


uncle, or indeed, to keep him at any distance. 
On the contrary, he treated him with the ut- 
moSl famiharity, often caUing him Dick, and 
dear Dick, and old Dick, and frequently begin- 
ning an oration with D — n me, Dick. 

All this condescension on the part of the 
young man, was received with suitable marks 
of complaisance and obligation by the old one ; 
especially, when it was attended with evidences 
of the same familiarity with general officers, 
and other persons of rank ; one of whom, in par- 
ticular, I know to have the pride and insolence 
of the devil himself, and who, without some 
§lrong bias of intereSl, is no more liable to con- 
verse familiarly with a lieutenant, than of being 
miSlaken in his judgment of a fool; which was 
not, perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy 
lieutenant, who, in declaring to us the qualifi- 
cations which recommended men to his coun- 
tenance and conversation, as w^ell as what ef- 
feftually set a bar to all hopes of that honour, 

exclaimed, " No, Sir, by the D , I hate 

all fools — no, d — n me, excuse me for that. 
That's a little too much, old Dick. There are 
two or three officers of our regiment, whom I 
know to be fools ; but d — n me if I am ever seen 

I 144 ;] 


in their company. If a man hath a fool of a 
relation, Dick, you know he can't help that, old 

Such jokes as these the old man not only 
took in good part, but glibly gulped down the 
whole narrative of his nephew ; nor did he, I 
am convinced, in the leaSt doubt of our as read- 
ily swallowing the same. This made him so 
charmed v^th the lieutenant, that it is probable 
we should have been pestered with him the 
whole evening, had not the north- wind, dearer 
to our sea-captain, even than this glory of his 
family, sprung suddenly up, and called aloud 
to him to weigh his anchor. 

While this ceremony was performing, the 
sea-captain ordered out his boat to row the land- 
captain to shore ; not indeed on an uninhabited 
island, but one which, in this part, looked but 
little better, not presenting us the view of a 
single house. Indeed, our old friend, when his 
boat returned on shore, perhaps being no longer 
able to Slifle his envy of the superiority of his 
nephew, told us, v^th a smile, that the young 
man had a good five mile to walk, before he 
could be accommodated v^th a passage to Ports- 

C 145 3 


It appeared now, that the captain had been 
only mistaken in the date of his predi6lion, by 
placing theevent a day earlierthan it happened ; 
for the wind which now arose, was not only fa- 
vourable but brisk, and was no sooner in reach 
of our sails, than it swept us away by the back 
of the Isle of Wight, and having in the night 
carried us by Chri§l-church and Peveral-point, 
brought us the next noon, Saturday, July 29, 
off the island of Portland, so famous for the 
smallnessand sweetness of its mutton,of which 
a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would 
have bought a sheep, but our captain would not 
permit it ; tho' he needed not have been in such 
a hurry, for presently the wind, I will not posi- 
tively assert in resentment of his boldness, 
shewed him a dog's trick, and slily slipt back 
again to his summer-house in the south- weSl. 

The captain now grew outrageous, and de- 
claring open war with the wind, took a resolu- 
tion, rather more bold than wise, of sailing in de- 
fiance of it, and in its teeth. He swore he would 
let go his anchor no more, but would beat the 
sea while he had either yard or sail left. He 
accordingly §lood from the shore, and made so 
large a tack, that before night, though he seemed 

C 146 3 


to advance but little on his way, he was got out 
of sight of land. 

Towards the evening, the wind began, in the 
captain's own language, to freshen ; and indeed 
it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a 
perfeft hurricane. The captain having got, as 
he supposed, to a safe distance, tacked again 
towards the English shore ; and now the wind 
veered a point only in his favour, and continued 
to blow with such violence, that the ship ran 
above eight knots or miles an hour, during this 
whole day and tempestuous night, till bed-time. 
I was obliged to betake myself once more to my 
solitude ; for my women were again all down in 
their sea-sickness, and the captain was busy on 
deck, for he began to grow uneasy, chiefly, I 
believe, because he did not well know where he 
was, and would,! am convinced, have been very 
glad to have been in Portland-road, eating some 
sheep's-head broth. 

Having contra6led no great degree of good 
humour, by living a whole day alone, without 
a single soul to converse with, I took but ill 
physic to purge it oflf^ by a bed-conversation 
with the captain ; who, amongSl many bitter 
lamentations of his fate, and protecting he had 


more patience than a Job, frequently inter- 
mixed summons to the commanding-officer on 
the deck, who now happened to be one Morri- 
son, a carpenter, the only fellow that had either 
common sense or common civility in the ship. 
Of Morrison he inquired every quarter of an 
hour concerning the Slate of affairs ; the wind, 
the care of the ship, and other matters of navi- 
gation. The frequency of these summons, as 
well as the solicitude with which they were 
made, sufficiently te§lified the §late of the cap- 
tain's mind; he endeavoured to conceal it and 
would have given no small alarm to a man, who 
had either not learnt what it is to die, or known 
what it is to be miserable. And my dear wife 
and child muSl pardon me, if what I did not con- 
ceive to be any great evil to myself, I was not 
much terrified with the thoughts of happening 
to them : in truth, I have often thought they are 
both too good, and too gentle, to be truSled to 
the power of any man I know, to whom they 
could possibly be so truSled. 

Can I say then I had no fear ; indeed I cannot, 
reader, I was afraid for thee, leSl thou shouldSl 
have been deprived of that pleasure thou art 
now enjoying and that I should not live to draw 

I 148 3 


out on paper, that military chara6ler which 
thou didSl peruse in the journal of yeSlerday. 

From all these fears we were relieved, at six 
in the morning, by the arrival of Mr. Morri- 
son, who acquainted us that he was sure he be- 
held land very near ; for he could not see half 
a mile, by reason of the haziness of the weather. 
This land, he said, was, he believed, the Berry- 
head, which forms one side of Torbay : the cap- 
tain declared that it was impossible and swore, 
on condition he was right, he would give him 
his mother for a maid. A forfeit which became 
afterwards Slriftly due and payable ; for the 
captain, whipping on his night-govm, ran up 
without his breeches, and within half an hour, 
returning into the cabin, v^shed me joy of our 
lying safe at anchor in the bay. 
§ Sunday, July 26. Things now began to put 
on an aspe6l very different from what they had 
lately worn : the news that the ship had almoSl 
loSl its mizen, and that we had procured very fine 
clouted cream and fresh bread and butter from 
the shore, restored health and spirits to our wo- 
men, and we all sat down to a very chearful 

But however pleasant our Slay promised to 

I 149 ;] 


be here, we were all desirous it should be short: 
I resolved immediately to dispatch my man into 
the country, to purchase a present of cyder for 
my friends of that which is called Southam, as 
well as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lis- 
bon ; for it is, in my opinion, much more deli- 
cious than that which is the growth of Here- 
fordshire. I purchased three hogsheads for five 
pounds ten shillings, all which I should have 
scarce thought worth mentioning, had I not be- 
lieved it might be of equal service to the hone§t 
farmer who sold it me, and who is by the neigh- 
bouring gentlemen reputed to deal in the very 
beSl, and to the reader, who from ignorance of 
the means of providingbetter for himself, swal- 
lows atadearerratethejuiceof Middlesex tur- 
nip, in§leadof that Vinum Pomonse which Mr. 
Giles Leverance of CheeshurSl, near Dart- 
mouth in Devon, will, at the price of forty shil- 
lings per hogshead, send in double casks to any 
part of the world. Had the wind been very sud- 
den in shifting, I had lo§l my cyder by an at- 
tempt of a boatman to exaft, according to cus- 
tom. He required five shillings for conveying 
my man a mile and half to the shore, and four 
more if he Slaid tobringhim back. This I thought 


to be such insufferable impudence, that I or- 
dered him to be immediately chased from the 
ship, without any answer. Indeed, there are few 
inconveniences that I would not rather encoun- 
ter, than encourage the insolent demands of 
these wretches, at the expence of my own in- 
dignation, of which I own they are not the only 
objefts, but rather those who purchase a paul- 
try convenience by encouraging them. But of 
this I have already spoken very largely. I shall 
conclude, therefore, with the leave which this 
fellow took of our ship, saying, he should know 
it again, and would not put off from the shore 
to relieve it in any distress whatever. 

It will, doubtless, surprize many of my read- 
ers to hear, that when we lay at anchor within 
a mile or two of a town, several days together, 
and even in the moSl temperate weather, we 
should frequently want fresh provisions and 
herbage, and other emoluments of the shore, 
as much as if we had been an hundred leagues 
from land. And this too, while numbers of 
boats were in our sight, whose owners get their 
livelihood by rowing people up and down, and 
could be at any time summoned by a signal to 
our assistance, and while the captain had a lit- 


tie boat of his own with men always ready to 
row it at his command. 

This, however, hath been partly accounted 
for already, by the imposing disposition of the 
people; who asked so much more than the 
proper price of their labour. And as to the use- 
fulness of the captain's boat, it requires to be a 
little expatiated upon, as it will tend to lay open 
some of the grievances which demand the ut- 
most regard of our legislature, as they affe6l 
the mo§l valuable part of the king's subjefts, 
those by whom the commerce of the nation is 
carried into execution. 

Our captain then, who was a very good and 
experienced seaman, having been above thirty 
years the mailer of a vessel, part of which he 
had served, so he phrased it, as commander of 
a privateer ; and had discharged himself v^th 
great courage and condu6l, and wdth as great 
success, discovered the utmo§l aversion to the 
sending his boat ashore, whenever we lay wind- 
bound in any of our harbours. This aversion 
did not arise from any fear of wearing out his 
boat by using it, but was, in truth, the result of 
experience, that it was easier to send his men 
on shore than to recal them. They acknow- 


ledged him to be their master while they re- 
mained on ship-board, but did not allow his 
power to extend to the shores, where they had 
no sooner set their foot, than every man be- 
came sui juris, and thought himself at full lib- 
erty to return when he pleased. Now it is not 
any delight that these fellows have in the fresh 
air, or verdant fields on the land. Every one 
of them would prefer his ship and his ham- 
mock to all the sweets of Arabia the happy; 
but unluckily for them, there are in every sea- 
port in England certain houses, whose chief 
livelihood depends on providing entertainment 
for the gentlemen of the jacket. For this pur- 
pose, they are always well- furnished with those 
cordial liquors, which do immediately inspire 
the heart v^th gladness, banishing all careful 
thoughts, and indeed all others from the mind, 
and opening the mouth with songs of chearful- 
ness and thanksgiving, for the many wonder- 
ful blessings wdth which a sea- faring life over- 

For my ovm part, however whimsical it may 
appear, I confess, I have thought the Slrange 
Slory of Circe in the Odyssey, no other than an 
ingenious allegory; in which Homer intended 


to convey to his countrymen the same kind of 
in§lru6lion, which we intend to communicate 
to our own in this digression. As teaching the 
art of war to the Greeks, was the plain design 
of the Ihad ; so was teaching them the art of 
navigation the no less manifeiSl intention of the 
Odyssey. For the improvement of this, their 
situation was moSl excellently adapted ; and 
accordingly we find Thucydides, in the begin- 
ning of his history, considers the Greeks as a 
set of pirates, or privateers, plundering each 
other by sea. This being probably the firiSl in- 
stitution of commerce before the Ars Caupo- 
naria was invented, and merchants, inStead of 
robbing, began to cheat and outwit each other, 
and by degrees changed the Metabletic, the 
only kind of traffic allowed by AriStotle in his 
Politicks, into the ChrematiStic. 

By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to 
have been the captain of a merchant-ship, and 
Circe some good ale-wife, who made his crew 
drunk wdth the spirituous liquors of those days. 
With this the transformation into swine, as well 
as all other incidents of the fable, wall notably 
agree ; and thus a key v^U be found out for 
unlocking the whole myStery, and forging, at 

[ 154 ] 


lea§l, some meaning to a §lory which, at pre- 
sent, appears very Strange and absurd. 

Hence, moreover, will appear the very near 
resemblance between the sea- faring men of all 
ages and nations ; and here perhaps may be 
established the truth and juSlice of that obser- 
vation, which will occur oftener than once in 
this voyage, that all human flesh is not the same 
flesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of land- 
men, and another of seamen. 

Philosophers, divines, and others, who have 
treated the gratification of human appetites 
v^th contempt, have, among other instances, 
insisted very Strongly on that satiety which is 
so apt to overtake them, even in the very aft 
of enjoyment. And here they more particu- 
larly deserve our attention, as moSt of them 
may be supposed to speak from their own ex- 
perience ; and very probably gave us their les- 
sons v^th a full Stomach. Thus hunger and 
thirSt, whatever delight they may afford while 
we are eating and drinking, pass both away 
from us with the plate and the cup ; and though 
we should imitate the Romans, if indeed they 
were such dull beaSts, which I can scarce be- 
lieve, to unload the belly like a dung-pot, in 


order to fill it again with another load, yet would 
the pleasure be so considerably lessened, that 
it would scarce repay us the trouble of pur- 
chasing it with swallowing a bason of camomile 
tea. A second haunch of venison, or a second 
dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city glut- 
ton with its smell. Even the celebrated Jew 
himself, when well filled wdth Calipash and 
Calipee, goes contentedly home to tell his 
money, and expefts no more pleasure from his 
throat, during the next twenty-four hours. 
Hence I suppose Dr. South took that elegant 
comparison of the joys of a speculative man to 
the solemn silence of an Archimedes over a 
problem, and those of a glutton to the Stillness 
of a sow at her wash. A simile, which, if it be- 
came the pulpit at all, could only become it in 
the afternoon. 

Whereas, in those potations which the mind 
seems to enjoy, rather than the bodily appetite, 
there is happily no such satiety ; but the more 
a man drinks the more he desires ; as if, like 
Mark Anthony in Dryden, his appetite in- 
creased with feeding, and this to such an im- 
moderate degree, ut nullus sit desiderio aut pii- 
dor aut modus. Hence, as with the gang of 

c; ^66 3 


Captain Ulysses, ensues so total a transforma- 
tion, that the man no more continues what he 
was. Perhaps he ceases for a time to be at all; 
or, tho' he may retain the same outward form 
and figure he had before, yet is his nobler part, 
as we are taught to call it, so changed, that, in- 
stead of being the same man, he scarce remem- 
bers what he was a few hours before. And this 
transformation being once obtained, is so easily 
preserved by the same potations, which induce 
no satiety, that the captain in vain sends or goes 
in que§lof his crew. They knowhimno longer; 
or, if they do, they acknowledge not his power, 
havingindeed as entirely forgotten themselves, 
as if they had taken a large draught of the river 
of Lethe. 

Nor is the captain always sure of even find- 
ing out the place to which Circe hath conveyed 
them. There are many of those houses in every 
port-town. Nay, there are some where the 
sorceress doth not truSl only to her drugs ; but 
hath instruments of a different kind to execute 
her purposes, by whose means the tar is effe6l- 
ually secreted from the knowledge and pursuit 
of his captain. This would, indeed, be very 
fatal, was it not for one circumSlance ; that the 

C 157 3 


sailor is seldom provided with the proper bait 
for these harpies. However, the contrary some- 
times happens, as these harpies will bite at al- 
most any thing, and will snap at a pair of silver 
buttons or buckles, as surely as at the specie it- 
self. Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, 
that the very naked hook v^U go down, and the 
jolly young sailor is sacrificed for his own sake. 

In vain, at such a season as this, would the 
vows of a pious heathen have prevailed over 
Neptune, ^^olus, or any other marine deity. In 
vain would the prayers of a Christian captain 
be attended with the like success. The wind 
may change, how it pleases, while all hands are 
on shore ; the anchor would remain firm in the 
ground, and the ship would continue in durance, 
unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, it 
forcibly got loose for no good purpose. 

Now, as the favour of winds and courts, and 
such like, is always to be laid hold on at the 
veryfir§l motion, for within twenty- four hours 
all maybe changed again ; so in the former case, 
the loss of a day may be the loss of a voyage : 
for, tho' it may appear to some persons not well 
skilled in navigation, who see ships meet and 
sail by each other, that the vmid blows some- 

[ 158 ] 


times ea§l and weSl, north and south, back- 
wards and forwards, at the same iniftant ; yet, 
certain it is, that the land is so contrived, that 
eventhe same wind will not, hke the same horse, 
always bring a man to the end of his journey ; 
but, that the gale which the mariner prayed 
heartily for ye§lerday, he may as heartily de- 
precate to-morrow ; while all use and benefit, 
which would have arisen to him from the west- 
erly wind of to-morrow, may be totally loSl and 
thrown away, by negle6ling the offer of the 
easterly blaSt which blows to-day. 

Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the 
innocent captain, loss and disappointment to the 
worthy merchant, and not seldom great preju- 
dice to the trade of a nation, whose manufac- 
tures are thus liable to lye unsold in a foreign 
warehouse, the market being foreStalFd by 
some rival whose sailors are under a better dis- 
cipline. To guard againSt theseinconveniences, 
the prudent captain takes every precaution in 
his power : he makes the Strongest contra6ts 
wdth his crew, and thereby binds them sofirmly, 
that none but the greatest or leaSt of men can 
break through them with impunity : but for one 
of these two reasons, which I v^U not deter- 

[ 159 ] 


mine, the sailor, like his brother fish the eel, 
is too slippery to be held, and plunges into his 
element with perfeft impunity. 

To speak a plain truth, there is no trusting 
to any contra6l with one whom the wise citizens 
of Lx)ndon call a bad man ; for, with such a one, 
tho' your bond be ever so Strong, it will prove 
in the end good for nothing. 

What then is to be done in this case ? What, 
indeed ! but to call in the assistance of that tre- 
mendous magistrate, the juStice of peace, who 
can, and often doth lay good and bad men in 
equal durance ; and, tho' he seldom cares to 
Stretch his bonds to what is great, never finds 
any thing too minute for their detention, but 
will hold the smalleSt reptile alive so faSt in his 
noose, that he can never get out 'till he is let 
drop through it. 

Why, therefore, upon the breach of those 
contra6ts, should not an immediate application 
be made to the neareSt magistrate of this order, 
who should be empowered to convey the delin- 
quent, either to ship or to prison, at the eleftion 
of the captain, to be fettered by the leg in either 

But, as the case now Stands, the condition of 


this poor captain, without any commission, and 
of this absolute commander without any power, 
is much worse than we have hitherto shewn it 
to be; for notwithstanding all the aforesaid con- 
tra6ls to sail in the good ship the Elizabeth, if 
the sailor should, for better wages, find it more 
his interest to go on board the better ship, the 
Mary, either before their setting out, or on 
their speedy meeting in some port, he may pre- 
fer the latter without any other danger, than 
that of "doing what heoughtnot tohavedone," 
contrary to a rule which he is seldom Christian 
enough to have much at heart, while the cap- 
tain is generally too good a Christian to punish 
a man out of revenge only, when he is to be at 
a considerable expence for so doing. There are 
many other deficiencies in our laws, relating to 
maritimeafrairs,and which wouldprobablyhave 
been long since corre6ted, had we any seamen 
in the House of Commons. Not that I would 
insinuate that the legislature wants a supply 
of many gentlemen in the sea-service : but, as 
these gentlemen are, by their attendance in the 
House, unfortunately prevented from ever go- 
ing to sea, and there learning what they might 
communicate to their landed brethren, these 


latter remain as ignorant in that branch of 
knowledge, as they would be if none but cour- 
tiers and fox-hunters had beenelefted into par- 
liament, without a single fish among them. The 
foUowingseems to metobeanefFeftof this kind, 
and it Slrikes me the Stronger, as I remember 
the case to have happened, and remember it to 
have been dispunishable. A captain of a trad- 
ing vessel, of which he was part-owner, took 
in a large freight of oats at Liverpool, consigned 
to the market at Bear-key : this he carried to a 
port in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, 
and freighting his vessel with wheat for the port 
of Cadiz in Spain, dropt it at Oporto in his way, 
and there selling it for his own use, took in a lad- 
ing of wine, with which he sailed again, and hav- 
ing converted it in the same manner, together 
with a large sum of money with which he was 
entrusted, for the benefit of certain merchants, 
sold the ship and cargo in another port, and 
then wisely sat down contented with the for- 
tune he had made, and returned to London to 
enjoy the remainder of his days, with the fruits 
of his former labours and a good conscience. 

The sum he brought home with him, con- 
sisted of near six thousand pounds, all in specie. 


and moiSt of it in that coin which Portugal dis- 
tributes so liberally over Europe. 

He was not yet old enough to be pa§l all sense 
of pleasure,nor so puff'^d up with the prideof his 
good fortune, as to overlook his old acquaint- 
ances the journeymen taylors, from among 
whom he had been formerly press'd into the 
sea-service, and having there laid the founda- 
tion of his future success, by his shares in prizes, 
had afterwards become captain of a trading ves- 
sel, in which he purchased an intereSl, and had 
soon begun to trade in the honourable manner 

The captain now took up his residence at an 
alehouse in Drury-lane, where, having all his 
money by him in a trunk, he spent above five 
pounds a day among his old friends the gentle- 
men and ladies of those parts. 

The merchant of Liverpool having luckily 
had notice from a friend, during the blaze of 
his fortune, did, by the assistance of a juSlice 
of peace, without the assistance of the law, re- 
cover his whole loss. The captain, however, 
wdsely chose to refund no more; but perceiving 
with what haSly Strides envy was pursuing his 
fortune, he took speedy means to retire out of 


her reach, and to enjoy the reSl of his wealth 
in an inglorious obscurity ; nor could the same 
justice overtake him time enough to assiSl a 
second merchant, as he had done the firiSl. 

This was a very extraordinary case, and 
the more so, as the ingenious gentleman had 
Steered entirely clear of all crimes in our law. 

Now, how it comes about that a robbery so 
very easy to be committed, and to which there 
is such immediate temptation always before the 
eyes of these fellows, should receive the en- 
couragement of impunity, is to be accounted 
for only from the oversight of the legislature, 
as that oversight can only be, I think, derived 
from the reasons I have assigned for it. 

But I will dwell no longer on this subje6l. If 
what I have here said should seem of sufficient 
consequence to engage the attentionof any man 
in power, and should thus be the means of ap- 
plying any remedy, to the mo§l inveterate evils 
at lea§l, I have obtained my whole desire, and 
shall have lain so long wind-bound in the ports 
of this kingdom to some purpose. I would in- 
deed have this work, which, if I should live to 
finish it, (a matter of no great certainty, if in- 
deed of any great hope to me,) will be prob- 


ably the laSl I shall ever undertake, to produce 
some better end than the mere diversion of the 

§ Monday. This day our captain v^ent ashore, 
to dine with a gentleman who lives in these 
parts, and who so exaftly resembles the char- 
after given by Homer of Axylus, that the only 
difference I can trace between them is, the one 
hving by the highway, ere6led his hospitality 
chiefly in favour of land travellers ; and the 
other living by the water-side, gratifies his 
humanity by accommodating the wants of the 

In the evening our commander received a 
visit from a brother bashaw, who lay wind- 
bound in the same harbour. This latter captain 
was a Swiss. He was then maSler of a vessel 
bound to Guinea, and had formerly been a pri- 
vateering, when our own hero was employed 
in the same laudable service. The honeSly and 
freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in which 
he was in no respeft inferior to his near neigh- 
bours the French, the aukward and affefted 
politeness, which was likewise of French ex- 
tra6lion, mixed v^th the brutal roughness of 
the English tar (for he had served under the 

i: 165 :i 


colours of this nation, and his crew had been of 
the same) made such an odd variety, such a 
much diverted with him, had not his voice, which 
was as loud as a speaking trumpet, unfortu- 
nately made my head ake. The noise which he 
conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother cap- 
tain, who sat on one side of him, the soft ad- 
dresses, with which, mixed with auk ward bows, 
he saluted the ladies on theother, were so agree- 
ably contrasted, that a man mu§l not only have 
been void of all taSle of humour, and insensible 
of mirth, but duller than Gibber is represented 
in the Dunciad, who could be unentertained 
with him a little while : for, I confess, such en- 
tertainments should always be very short, as 
they are very liable to pall. But he suffered not 
this to happen at present; for having given us 
his company a quarter of an hour only, he re- 
tired, after many apologies for the shortness of 
his visit. 

§ Tuesday. The wind being less boiSlerousthan 
it had hitherto been since our arrival here, sev- 
eral fishing boats, which the tempeSluous wea- 
ther yesterday had prevented from working, 
came on board us with fish. This was so fresh. 


so good in kind, and so very cheap, that we sup- 
plied ourselves with great numbers, among 
which were very large soals at four-pence a 
pair, and whitings, of almoSl a preposterous 
size, at nine-pence a score. 

The only fish which bore any price was a 
John doree, as it is called. I bought one of at 
leaSl four pounds weight for as many shillings. 
It resembles a turbut in shape, but exceeds it 
in firmness and flavour. The price had the ap- 
pearance of being considerable, when opposed 
to the extraordinary cheapness of others of 
value ; but was, in truth, so very reasonable, 
when estimated by its goodness, that it left me 
under no other surprize, than how the gentle- 
men of this country, not greatly eminent for 
the delicacy of their taSte, had discovered the 
preference of the doree to all other fish : but 
I was informed that Mr. Quin, whose distin- 
guishing tooth hath been so juStly celebrated, 
had lately visited Plymouth, and had done those 
honours to the doree, which are so juStly due 
to it from that seft of modem philosophers, 
who with Sir Epicure Mammon, or Sir Epicure 
Quin, their head, seem more to delight in a fish- 

i: 167 J 


pond than in a garden, as the old Epicureans 
are said to have done. 

Unfortunately for the fishmongers of Lon- 
don, the doree resides only in those seas ; for 
could any of this company but convey one to 
the temple of luxury under the Piazza, w^here 
Macklin the high prieSl daily serves up his rich 
offerings to that goddess, great would be the 
reward of that fishmonger in blessings poured 
dovm upon him from the goddess ; as great 
would his merit be towards the high prieSt, 
who could never be thought to over- rate such 
valuable incense. 

And here having mentioned the extreme 
cheapness of fish in the Devonshire sea, and 
given some little hint of the extreme dearness 
with which this commodity is dispensed by those 
who deal in it in London, I cannot pass on v^th- 
out throwing forth an observation or two, wdth 
the same view with which I have scattered my 
several remarks through this voyage, suffi- 
ciently satisfied in having finished my life, as I 
have probably lo§l it, in the service of my coun- 
try, from the be§l of motives, tho' it should be 
attended with the worSl of success. Means are 
always in our power; ends are very seldom so. 


Of all the animal foods with which man is 
furnished, there are none so plenty as fish. A 
little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived 
through a va§l tra6l of rich land, will support 
more hundreds with the flesh of its inhabitants 
than the meadow will nourish individuals. But 
if this be true of rivers, it is much truer of the 
sea shores, which abound wdth such immense 
variety of fish, that the curious fisherman, after 
he hath made his draught, often culls only the 
daintieSl part, and leaves the reSl of his prey to 
perish on the shore. 

If this be true, it would appear, I think, that 
there is nothing which might be had in such 
abundance, and consequently so cheap, as fish, 
of which nature seems to have provided such 
inexhauSlible Stores with some pecuHar design. 
In the produ6lion of terreSlrial animals, she 
proceeds with such slowness, that in the larger 
kind, a single female seldom produces more 
than one a year, and this again requires three, 
four, or five years more to bring it to perfec- 
tion. And tho' the lesser quadrupeds, those of 
the wild kind particularly, with the birds, do 
multiply much faSler, yet can none of these 
bear any proportion with the aquatic animals. 


of whom every female matrix is furnished with 
an annual offspring, almoSl exceeding the 
power of numbers, and which, in many in- 
stances at lea§l, a single year is capable of 
bringing to some degree of maturity. 

What then ought in general to be so plenti- 
ful, what so cheap as fish ? What then so prop- 
erly the food of the poor ? So in many places 
they are, and so might they always be in great 
cities, which are always situated near the sea, 
or on the conflux of large rivers. How comes 
it then, to look no farther abroad for iniSlances, 
that in our city of London the case is so far 
otherwise, that except that of sprats, there is 
not one poor palate in a hundred that knows 
the ta§le of fish. 

It is true, indeed, that this taSle is generally 
of such excellent flavour, that it exceeds the 
power of French cookery to treat the palates 
of the rich with any thing more exquisitely 
delicate ; so that was fish the common food of 
the poor, it might put them too much upon an 
equality with their betters, in the great article 
of eating, in which, at present, in the opinion 
of some, the great difference in happiness be- 
tween man and man consists. But this argu- 


ment I shall treat with the utmo§l disdain : for 
if ortolans were as big as bu§lards, and at the 
same time as plenty as sparrows, I should hold 
it yet reasonable to indulge the poor with the 
dainty, and that for this cause especially, that 
the rich would soon find a sparrow, if as scarce 
as an ortolan, to be much the greater, as it would 
certainly be the rarer dainty of the two. 

Vanity or scarcity will be always the favour- 
ite of luxury, but hone§l hunger will be satis- 
fied with plenty. Not to search deeper into the 
cause of the evil, I shall think it abundantly 
sufficient to propose the remedies of it. And, 
fir§l, I humbly submit the absolute necessity of 
immediately hangingall thefishmongers within 
the bills of mortality ; and however it might 
have been some time ago the opinion of mild 
and temporizing men, that the evil complained 
of might be removed by gentler methods, I sup- 
pose at this day there are none who do not see 
the impossibility of using such with any effeft. 
Cun6tapnus tentanda might havebeen formerly 
urged with some plausibility, but Cundla prius 
tentata may now be replied : for surely if a few 
monopolizing fishmongers could defeat that 
excellent scheme of the We§lmin§ler market. 


to the erefting which so many ju§lices of peace, 
as well as other wise and learned men, did so 
vehemently apply themselves, that they might 
be truly said not only to have laid the whole 
Strength of their heads, but of their shoulders 
too, to the business, it would be a vain endea- 
vour for any other body of men to attempt to 
remove so stubborn a nuisance. 

If it should be doubted, whether we can bring 
this case within the letter of any capital law 
now subsisting ? I am ashamed to own it can- 
not ; for surely no crime better deserves such 
punishment ; but the remedy may, neverthe- 
less, be immediate, and if a law was made the 
beginning of next sessions, to take place im- 
mediately, by which the Starving thousands of 
poor was declared to be felony, without benefit 
of clergy, the fishmongers would be hanged 
before the end of the sessions. 

A second method of filling the mouths of the 
poor, if not with loaves, at leaSt with fishes, is 
to desire the magistrates to carry into execu- 
tion one, at leaSt, out of near a hundred a6ts of 
parliament, for preserving the small fry of the 
river of Thames, by which means as few fish 
would satisfy thousands, as may now be de- 

[ 172 3 


voured by a small number of individuals. But 
while a fisherman can break through the Strong- 
est meshes of an aft of parliament, we may be 
assured he will learn so to contrive his own 
meshes, that the smallest fry will not be able 
to swim through them. 

Other methods may, we doubt not, be sug- 
gested by those who shall attentively consider 
the evil here hinted at ; but we have dwelt too 
long on it already, and shall conclude with ob- 
serving, that it is difficult to affirm, whether the 
atrocity of the evil itself, the facility of curing 
it, or the shameful negle6t of the cure, be the 
more scandalous, or more aStonishing. 

After having, however, gloriously regaled 
myself with this food, I was washing it down 
with some good claret, with my wife and her 
friend in the cabin, when the captain's valet de 
chambre, head cook, house and ship Steward, 
footman in livery and out on't, secretary and 
fore-maSt-man, all burSt into the cabin at once, 
being indeed all but one person, and without 
saying, by your leave, began to pack half a 
hogshead of small beer in bottles, the neces- 
sary consequence of which muSt have been, 
either a total stop to conversation at thatchear- 


ful season, when it is moSl agreeable, or the 
admitting that polyonymous officer aforesaid 
to the participation of it. I desired him, there- 
fore, to delay his purpose a little longer, but he 
refused to grant my requeSl ; nor was he pre- 
vailed on to quit the room till he was threatened 
with having one bottle to pack more than his 
number, which then happened to Stand empty 
within my reach. 

With these menaces he retired at laSl, but 
not wdthout muttering some menaces on his 
side, and which, to our great terror, he failed 
not to put into immediate execution. 

Our captain was gone to dinner this day v^th 
his Swiss brother; and tho* he was a very sober 
man, was alittle elevated with some champaign, 
which, as it co§l the Swiss little or nothing, he 
dispensed at his table more liberally than our 
hospitable English noblemen put about those 
bottles, which the ingenious Peter Taylor 
teaches a led captain to avoid by distinguishing 
by the name of that generous liquor, which all 
humble companions are taught to postpone to 
the flavor of methuen or honeSt port. 

While our two captains were thus regaling 
themselves, and celebrating their own heroic 

[ 174 :\ 


exploits, with all the inspiration which the 
liquor, at leaSl, of wit could afford them, the 
polyonymous officer arrived, and being saluted 
by the name of honeSl Tom, was ordered to sit 
down and take his glass before he delivered his 
message ; for every sailor is by turns his cap- 
tain's mate over a can, except only that captain 
bashaw who presides in a man of war, and who 
upon earth has no other mate, unless it be an- 
other of the same bashaws. 

Tom had no sooner swallowed his draught, 
than he haSlily began his narrative, and faith- 
fully related what had happened on board our 
ship ; we say faithfully, tho' from what hap- 
pened it may be suspefted that Tom chose to 
add, perhaps, only five or six immaterial cir- 
cumstances, as is always, I believe, the case, 
and may possibly have been done by me in re- 
lating this very§lory,tho'it happenednotmany 
hours ago. 

No sooner was the captain informed of the 
interruption which had been given to his offi- 
cer, and indeed to his orders, for he thought no 
time so convenient as that of his absence for 
causing any confusion in the cabin, than he leapt 
with such haSle from his chair, that he had like 

C 175 -] 


to have broke his sword, with which he always 
begirt himself when he walked out of his ship, 
and sometimes when he walked about in it, at 
the same time grasping eagerly that other im- 
plement called a cockade, which modern sol- 
diers wear on their helmets, with the same view 
as the antients did their creSls, to terrify the 
enemy; he muttered something, but so inartic- 
ulately, that the word damji was only intelligi- 
ble ; he then hastily took leave of the Swiss cap- 
tain, who was too well bred to press his §lay on 
such an occasion, and leapt firSl from the ship 
to his boat, and then from his boat to his own 
ship, with as much fierceness in his looks as he 
had ever expressed on boarding his defenceless 
prey, in the honourable calling of a privateer. 

Having regained the middle deck he paused 
a moment, while Tom and others loaded them- 
selves with bottles, and then descendingintothe 
cabin exclaimed with a thundering voice, D — n 
me, why arn't the bottles Sloed in, according to 
my orders ? 

I answered him very mildly, that I had pre- 
vented his man from doing it, as it was at an in- 
convenient time to me, and as in his absence, 
at leaSl, I eSleemed the cabin to be my own. 


" Your cabin," repeated he many times, " no, 
d — me, 't is my cabin. Your cabin ! D — me ! 
I have brought my hogs to a fair market. I 
suppose, indeed, you think it your cabin, and 
your ship, by your commanding in it ; but I 
will command in it, d — n me ! I will shew the 
world I am the commander, and no body but I ! 
Did you think I sold you the command of my 
ship for that pitiful thirty pounds ? I wish I had 
not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of 
her. ' ' He then repeated the words thirty pounds 
often, with great disdain and with a contempt 
which, I own, the sum did not seem to deserve 
in my eye, either in itself, or on the present oc- 
casion ; being, indeed, paid for the freight of 

weight of human flesh, which is above 5 o 

per cent, dearer than the freight of any other 
luggage, whilst in reality it takes up less room, 
in fa6t, no room at all. 

In truth the sum was paid for nothing more, 
than for a liberty to six persons, (two of them 
servants ) to Slay on board a ship while she sails 
from one port to another, every shilling of which 
comes clear into the captain's pocket. Ignorant 
people may perhaps imagine, especially when 
they are told that the captain is obliged to sus- 


tain them, that their diet, at leaSl, is worth some- 
thing ; which may probably be now and then 
so far the case, as to dedu6l a tenth part from 
the neat profits on this account; butitwasother- 
wise at present : for when I had contra6led with 
the captain at a price which I by no means 
thought moderate, I had some content in think- 
inglshould haveno more to pay formy voyage; 
but I was whispered that it was expe6ted that 
passengers should find themselves in several 
things ; such as tea, wine, and such-like ; and 
particularly that gentlemen should Sloweof the 
latter a much larger quantity than they could 
use, in order to leave the remainder as a present 
to the captain, at the end of the voyage ; and it 
was expe6led, like v^se, that gentlemen should 
put aboard some fresh Stores, and the more of 
such things were put aboard, the welcomer they 
would be to the captain. 

I was prevailed v^th by these hints, to follow 
the advice proposed, and accordingly, besides 
tea, and a large hamper of wine, v^th several 
hams and tongues, I caused a number of live 
chickens and sheep to be conveyed aboard ; in 
truth, treble the quantity of provision which 
would have supported the persons I took with 

c: 178 ^ 


me, had the voyage continued three weeks, as 
it was supposed, with abare possibihty, itmight. 
Indeed it continued much longer ; but, as 
this was occasioned by our being windbound in 
our own ports, it was by no means of any ill 
consequence to the captain, as the additional 
Stores of fish, fresh meat, butter, bread, &c. 
which I constantly laid in greatly exceeded the 
consumption, and went some way in maintain- 
ing the ship's crew. It is true, I was not obliged 
to do this ; but it seemed to be expe6led ; for the 
captain did not think himself obliged to do it ; 
and, I can truly say, I soon ceased to expe6l it 
of him . He had, I confess, on board, a number 
of fowls and ducks sufficient for a West-India 
voyage : all of them, as he often said, " Very 
fine birds, and of the largeSl breed." This, I 
believe, was really the fa6l, and, I can add, that 
they were all arrived at the full perfeftion of 
their size. Nor was there, I am convinced, any 
want of provisions of a more substantial kind ; 
such as dried beef, pork, and fish ; so that the 
captain seemed ready to perform his contra6t, 
and amply to provide for his passengers. What 
I did then was not from necessity, but, perhaps, 
from a less excusable motive, and was, by no 


means, chargeable to the account of the cap- 

But let the motive have been what it would, 
the consequence was Slill the same, and this was 
such, that I am firmly persuaded the whole pit- 
iful sol. came pure and neat into the captain's 
pocket, and not only so, but attended with the 
value of lo/. more in sundries, into the bargain. 
I mu§l confess my self therefore at a loss how 
the epithet pitiful came to be annexed to the 
above sum : for not being a pitiful price for what 
it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful 
in itself; nor do I believe it is so thought by the 
greatest men in the kingdom ; none of whom 
would scruple to searchfor it in the dirtieSl ken- 
nel, where they had only a reasonable hope of 

How, therefore, such a sum should acquire 
the idea of pitiful, in the eyes of a maSler of a 
ship, seems not easy to be accounted for ; since 
it appears more likely to produce in him ideas 
of a different kind. Some men, perhaps, are no 
more sincere in the contempt for it which they 
express, than others in their contempt of money 
in general; and I am the rather inclined to this 
persuasion, as I have seldom heard of either. 


who have refused or refunded this their despised 
obje6l. Besides, it is sometimes impossible to 
beheve these professions, as every a6lion of 
the man's hfe is a contradi6lion to it. Who can 
believe a tradesman, who says he would not tell 
his name for the profit he gets by the selling 
suchaparcelof goods, when he hath told a thou- 
sand lies in order to get it ? 

Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an objeft, 
not absolutely, but comparatively with our ex- 
peftations, or with a greater objeft : In which 
sense it is not easy to set any bounds to the use 
of the word. Thus, a handful of halfpence daily 
appear pitiful to a porter, and a handful of sil- 
ver to a drawer. The latter, I am convinced, 
at a polite tavern, will not tell his name ( for he 
will not give you any answer) under the price 
of gold. And, in this sense, 30/. may be ac- 
counted pitiful by the lowe§l mechanic. 

One difficulty only seems to occur, and that 
is this : How comes it that, if the profits of the 
meane§l arts are so considerable, the possessors 
of them are not richer than we generally see 
them ? One answer to this shall suffice. Men 
do not become rich by what they get, but by 
what they keep. He who is worth no more than 


his annual wages or salary, spends the whole; 
he will be always a beggar, let his income be 
what it will ; and so will be his family when he 
dies. This we see daily to be the case of eccle- 
siaSlics, who, during their lives, are extremely 
well provided for, only because they desire to 
maintain the honour of the cloth by hving like 
gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better 
maintained by living unlike them. 

But, to return from so long a digression, to 
which the use of so improper an epithet gave 
occasion, and to which the novelty of the subj eft 
allured, I will make the reader amends by con- 
cisely telling him, that the captain poured forth 
such a torrent of abuse, that I very hastily, and 
very foolishly, resolved to quit the ship. I gave 
immediate orders to summon a hoy to carry me 
that eveningto Dartmouth, without considering 
any consequence. Those orders I gave in no 
very low voice; so that those above Slairs might 
possibly conceive there was more than one 
maiSler in the cabin. In the same tone I likewise 
threatened the captain with that which , he after- 
wards said, he feared more than any rock or 
quick sand. Nor can we wonder at this, when 
we are told he had beentwdceobliged to bring to. 


and caSl anchor there before, and had neither 
time escaped withouttheloss of almoSl his whole 

The mo§l distant sound of law thus fright- 
ened a man, who had often, I am convinced, 
heard numbers of cannon roar round him with 
intrepidity. Nor did he sooner see the hoy ap- 
proaching the vessel, than he ran down again 
into the cabin, and, his rage being perfeftly 
subsided, he tumbled on his knees, and a little 
too abjeftly implored for mercy. 

I did not suffer a brave man and an old man, 
to remain a moment in this po§lure; but I im- 
mediately forgave him. 

And here, that I may not be thought the sly 
trumpeter of my ovm praises, I do utterly dis- 
claim all praise on the occasion. Neither did the 
greatness of my mind di6late, nor the force 
of my ChriSlianity exa6t this forgiveness. To 
speak truth, I forgave him from a motive which 
would make men much more forgiving, if they 
were much v^ser than they are ; because it was 
convenient for me so to do. 
§ Wednesday the 20th. This morning the cap- 
tain dreSl himself in scarlet, in order to pay a 
visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain 


of a ship is a gueSl of no ordinary consequence, 
as he is a Stranger and a gentleman who hath 
seen a great deal of the world in foreign parts 
and knows all the news of the times. 

The squire, therefore, was to send his boat 
for the captain ; but a moSlunfortunate accident 
happened : for, as the wind was extremely 
rough, and againSl the hoy, while this was en- 
deavouring to avail itself of great seamanship, 
in bawling up againSl the wind, a sudden squall 
carried off sail and yard ; or, at leaSl, so disabled 
them, that they were no longer of any use, and 
unable to reach the ship: but the captain, from 
the deck, saw his hopes of venison disappointed, 
and was forced either to Slay on board his ship, 
or to hoiSl forth his own long-boat, which he 
could not prevail with himself to think of, tho' 
the smell of the venison had had twenty times 
its attra6lion. He did, indeed, love his ship as 
his wife, and his boats as children, and never 
v^lingly truSled the latter, poor things ! to the 
dangers of the seas. 

To say truth, notwithstanding the stri6t rig- 
our v^th which he preserved the dignity of his 
Station, and the haSty impatience with which he 
resented any affront to his person or orders, dis- 


obedience to which hecould in noiniSlance brook 
in any person on board, he was one of the beSl 
natur'd fellows alive. He a6led the part of a 
father to his sailors; he expressed great tender- 
ness for any of them when ill, and never suf- 
fered any the leaSl work of supererogation to 
go unrewarded by a glass of gin. He even ex- 
tended his humanity, if I may so call it, to ani- 
mals, and even his cats and kittens had large 
shares in his afFe6lions. An inSlance of which 
we saw this evening, when the cat, which had 
shewn it could not be drowned, was found suf- 
focated under a feather-bed in the cabin. I will 
not endeavour to describe his lamentations with 
more prolixity thanbarely by saying, they were 
grievous, and seemed to have some mixture of 
the Irish howl in them. Nay, he carried his 
fondness even to inanimate objefts, of which 
we have above set down a pregnant example, 
in his demonstration of love and tenderness to- 
wards his boats and ship. He spoke of a ship 
which he had commanded formerly, and which 
was long since no more, which he had called 
the Princess of Brazil, as a widower of a de- 
ceased wife. This ship, after having followed 
the hone§l business of carrying goods and pas- 


sengers for hire many years, did at laSl take to 
evil courses and turn privateer, in vv^hich ser- 
vice, to use his own words, she received many 
dreadful wounds, which he himself had felt, as 
if they had been his own. 
§ Thursday. As the wind did not yeSlerday 
discover any purpose of shifting, and the water 
in my belly grew troublesome, and rendered 
me short-breathed ; I began a second time to 
have apprehensions of wanting the assistance 
of a trochar, when none was to be found : I 
therefore concluded to be tapped again, byway 
of precaution; and accordingly I this morning 
summoned on board a surgeon from a neigh- 
bouring parish, one whom the captain greatly 
recommended, and who did indeed perform his 
office with much dexterity. He was, I believe 
likewise, a man of great judgment and know- 
ledge in the profession ; but of this I cannot 
speak with perfe6l certainty; for when he was 
going to open on the dropsy at large, and on 
the particular degree of the diSlemper under 
which I laboured, I was obliged to Slop him 
short, for the v^d was changed, and the cap- 
tain in the utmoSl hurry to depart ; and to de- 


sire him, inSlead of his opinion, to assi§l me 
with his execution. 

I was now once more deUvered from my 
burthen, which was not indeed so great as I 
had apprehended, wanting two quarts of what 
was let out at the la§l operation. 

While the surgeon was drawing away my 
water, the sailors were drawing up the anchor; 
both were finished at the same time, we unfurled 
our sails, and soon passed the Berry-head, which 
forms the mouth of the bay. 

We had not however sailed far, when the 
wind, which had, tho' with a slow pace, kept 
us company about six miles, suddenly turned 
about, and offered to condu6l us back again : a 
favour, which, tho' sorely againSt the grain, we 
were obliged to accept. 

Nothing remarkable happened this day ; for 
as to the persuasion of the captain, that he was 
under the spell of witchcraft, I would not re- 
peat it too often, though indeed he repeated 
it an hundred times every day ; in truth, he 
talked of nothing else, and seemed not only to 
be satisfied in general of his being bewitched, 
but a6lually to have fixed, with good certainty, 

I 187 :] 


on the person of the witch, whom, if he had 
hved in the days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would 
have infallibly indi6led, and very possibly have 
hanged for the deteSlable sin of witchcraft. 
But that law, and the whole do6lrine that sup- 
ported it, are now out of fashion ; and witches, as 
a learned divine once chose to express himself, 
are put dovm by aft of parhament. This witch, 
in the captain's opinion, was no other than Mrs. 
Francis, of Ryde, who, as he insinuated, out of 
anger to me, for not spending more money in 
her house than she could produce any thing to 
exchange for, or any pretence to charge for, 
had laid this spell on his ship. 

Tho' we were again got near our harbour by 
three in the afternoon, yet it seemed to require 
a full hour or more, before we could come to 
our former place of anchoring, or berth, as the 
captain called it. On this occasion we exem- 
plified one of the few advantages, which the 
travellers by water have over the travellers by 
land. What would the latter often give for 
the sight of one of those hospitable mansions, 
where he is assured, that there is good entertain- 
ment for man and horse ; and where both may 
consequently promise themselves to assuage 
[ 188 ] 


that hunger which exercise is so sure to raise 
in a healthy constitution. 

At their arrival at this mansion, how much 
happier is the Slate of the horse than that of the 
maSler ? The former is immediately led to his 
repaSt, such as it is, and whatever it is, he falls 
to it with appetite. But the latter is in a much 
worse situation. His hunger, however violent, 
is always in some degree delicate, and his food 
muSl have some kind of ornament, or as the 
more usual phrase is, of dressing, to recom- 
mend it. Now all dressing requires time ; and 
therefore, tho' perhaps, the sheep might be juSl 
killed before you came to the inn, yet in cutting 
him up, fetching the joint, which the landlord 
by mistake said he had in the house, from the 
butcher at two miles distance, and afterwards 
warming it a little by the fire, two hours at leaSt 
muSt be consumed, while hunger, for want of 
better food, preys all the time on the vitals of 
the man. 

How different was the case with us ? we car- 
ried our provision, our kitchen, and our cook 
with us, and we were at one and the same 
time travelling on our road, and sitting down 
to a repaSl of fish, vdth which the greateSt 

C 189 3 


table in London can scarce at any rate be sup- 

§ Friday. As we were disappointed of our 
wind, and obliged to return back the preceding 
evening, we resolved toextraft all the good we 
could out of our misfortune, and to add consid- 
erably to our fresh stores of meat and bread, 
with which we were very indifferently provided 
when we hurried away yeSlerday . By the cap- 
tain' s advice we likev^se laid in some Stores of 
butter, which we salted and potted ourselves, 
for our use at Lisbon, and we had great reason 
afterwards to thank him for his advice. 

In the afternoon, I persuaded my wife, whom 
it was no easy matter for me to force from my 
side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gal- 
lant captain declared he was ready to attend 
her. Accordingly, the ladies set out, and left 
me to enjoy a sweet and comfortable nap after 
the operation of the preceding day. 

Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full 
three hours, when we met again ; and my wife 
gave the foregoing account of the gentleman, 
whom I have before compared to Axylus, and 
of his habitation, to both which she had been in- 
troduced by the captain, in the Slile of an old 

[ 190 ;] 


friend and acquaintance ; though this founda- 
tion of intimacy seemed to her to be no deeper 
laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many- 
years before, at this temple of hospitality, when 
the captain lay wind-bound in the same bay. 
§ Saturday. Early this morning the wind 
seemed inclined to change in our favour. Our 
alert captain snatched its very firSl motion, and 
got under sail with so very gentle a breeze, that 
as the tide was againSl him, he recommended 
to a fishing-hoy to bring after him a vaSl salmon, 
and some other provisions which lay ready for 
him on shore. 

Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in 
the morning we had doubled the Berry-head, 
and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone 
full three miles in as many hours, in dire6l op- 
position to the tide, which only befriended us 
out of our harbour ; and tho' the wind was, per- 
haps, our friend, it was so very silent, and ex- 
erted itself so little in our favour, that, like some 
cool partisans, it was difficult to say whether it 
was with us or againSl us. The captain, how- 
ever, declared the former to be the case, during 
the whole three hours ; but at laSl he perceived 
his error; or rather, perhaps, this friend, which 


had hitherto wavered in chusing his side, be- 
came now more determined . The captain then 
suddenly tacked about, and asserting that he 
was bewitched, submitted to return to the place 
from whence he came. Now, though I am as 
free from superSlition as any man breathing, 
and never did believe in witches, notwithstand- 
ing all the excellent arguments of my Lord 
Chief Justice Hale in their favour, and long be- 
fore they were put down by aft of parliament, 
yet by what power a ship of burthen should sail 
three miles again§l both wind and tide, I cannot 
conceive ; unless there was some supernatural 
interposition in the case : nay, could we admit 
that the wind §lood neuter, the difficult v would 
Slill remain. So that we muSl of necessity con- 
clude, that the ship was either bewinded or be- 

The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. 
He imagined himself, I believe, bewitched, be- 
cause the wind, instead of persevering in its 
change in his favour, for change it certainly did 
that morning, should suddenly return to its fa- 
vourite Station, and blow him back towards the 
bay. But if this was his opinion, he soon saw 
cause to alter ; for he had not measured half 


the way back, when the wind again declared in 
his favour, and so loudly that there was no pos- 
sibility of being mistaken. 

The orders for the second tack were given, 
and obeyed with much more alacrity, than those 
had been for the firSl. We were all of us indeed 
in high spirits on the occasion ; though some of 
us a little regretted the good things we were 
likely to leave behindus by the fisherman's neg- 
le6l : I might give it a worse name, for he faith- 
fully promised to execute the commission, 
which he had had abundant opportunity to do ; 
but J^autica fides deserves as much to be pro- 
verbial, as ever Punicafides could formerly have 
done. Nay, when we consider that the Cartha- 
ginians came from the Phenicians, who are sup- 
posed to have produced the firSl mariners, we 
may probably see the true reason of the adage, 
and it may open a field of very curious discov- 
eries to the antiquarian. 

We were, however, too eager to pursue our 
voyage, to suffer any thing we left behind us 
to interrupt our happiness, which indeed many 
agreeable circumstances conspired to advance. 
The weather was inexpressibly pleasant, and 
we were all seated on the deck, when our can- 


vas began to swell with the wind. We had like- 
wise in our view above thirty other sail around 
us, all in the same situation. Here an obser- 
vation occurred to me which, perhaps, though 
extremely obvious, did not offer itself to every 
individual in our little fleet: when I perceived 
with what different success we proceeded, un- 
der the influence of a superior power, which 
while we lay almost idle ourselves, pushed us 
forward on our intended voyage, and compared 
this with the slow progress which we had made 
in the morning, of ourselves and without any 
such assistance, I could not help refle6ting how 
often the greatest abilities lie wind-bound as it 
were in life ; or if they venture out, and attempt 
to beat the seas, they struggle in vain againSl 
wind and tide ; and if they have not sufficient 
prudence to put back, are moSl probably ca§l 
away on the rocks and quicksands, which are 
every day ready to devour them. 

It was now our fortune to set out meliorihus 
avihus. The v^nd freshened so briskly in our 
poop, that the shore appeared to move from us, 
as faSl as we did from the shore. The captain 
declared he was sure of a wind, meaning its 
continuance; but he had disappointed us so of- 

C 194 ] 


ten, that he had lo§l all credit. However, he kept 
his word a little better now, and we loSl sight 
of our native land, as joyfully, at leaSl, as it is 
usual to regain it. 

§ Sunday. The next morning, the captain told 
me he thought himself thirty miles to the west- 
ward of Plymouth, and before evening declared 
that the Lizard point, which is the extremity 
of Cornwall, bore several leagues to leeward. 
Nothing remarkable pa§l this day, except the 
captain's devotion, who, in his own phrase, 
summoned all hands to prayers, which were 
read by a common sailor upon deck, with more 
devout force and address, than they are com- 
monly read by a country curate, and received 
with more decency and attention by the sailors 
than are usually preserved in city congrega- 
tions. I am, indeed, assured that if any such af- 
fefted disregard of the solemn office in which 
they were engaged, as I have seen pra6tised by 
fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind of 
apprehension le§l they should be suspe6ledof 
being really in earneSl in their devotion, had 
been shewn here, they would have contra6led 
the contempt of the whole audience. To say 
the truth, from what I observed in the behav- 

[ 195 3 


iour of the sailors in this voyage, and on com- 
paring it with what I have formerly seen of 
them at sea and on shore, I am convinced that 
on land there is nothing more idle and dissolute ; 
in their own element, there are no persons near 
the level of their degree, who live in the con- 
Slant praftice of half so many good qualities. 
They are, for much the greater part, perfeft 
mailers of their business, and always extremely 
alert, and ready in executing it, without any re- 
gard to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers them- 
selves are not better disciplined, nor more obe- 
dient to orders than these whilSl aboard ; they 
submit to every difficulty which attends their 
caUing with chearfulness, and no less virtues 
than patience and fortitude are exercised by 
them every day of their hves. 

All these good qualities, however, they al- 
ways leave behind them on shipboard : the sailor 
out of water is, indeed, as v^etched an animal 
as the fish out of water ; for tho' the former hath 
in common with amphibious animals the bare 
power of exiSlingon the land, yet if he be kept 
there any time, he never fails to become a nui- 

The ship having had a good deal of motion 

i: 196 ] 


since she was la§l under sail, our women re- 
turned to their sickness, and I to my solitude ; 
having, for twenty-four hours together, scarce 
opened my lips to a single person. This cir- 
cumstance of being shut up within the circum- 
ference of a few yards, with a score of human 
creatures, with not one of whom it was possi- 
ble to converse, was perhaps so rare, as scarce 
ever to have happened before, nor could it ever 
happen to one who disliked it more than myself, 
or to myself at a season when I wanted more 
food for my social disposition, or could con- 
verse less wholesomely and happily with my 
own thoughts . To this accident, which fortune 
opened to me in the Downs, was owing the fir§l 
serious thought which I ever entertained of 
enroling myself among the voyage- writers ; 
some of the moiSl amusing pages, if indeed there 
be any which deserve that name, were possibly 
the produ6lion of the mo§l disagreeable hours 
which ever haunted the author. 
§ Monday . At noon the captain took an obser- 
vation, by which it appeared that Ushant bore 
some leagues northward of us, and that we were 
ju§l entering the bay of Biscay. We had ad- 
vanced a very few miles in this bay before we 


were entirely becalmed ; we furPd our sails, as 
being of no use to us, while we lay in this mo§l 
disagreeable situation, more deteSled by the 
sailors than the mo§l violent tempeSl : we were 
alarmed with the loss of a fine piece of salt beef, 
which had been hung in the sea to freshen it; 
this being, it seems, the Strange property of salt 
water. The thief was immediately suspe6led, 
and presently afterwards taken by the sailors. 
He was indeed no other than a huge shark, who, 
not knowing when he was well off, swallowed 
another piece of beef, together with a great iron 
crook on which it was hung, and by which he 
was dragged into the ship. 

I should scarce have mentioned the catching 
this shark, though so exaftly conformable to 
the rules and praftice of voyage- writing, had 
it not been for a Strange circumstance that at- 
tended it. This was the recovery of the Stolen 
beef out of the shark's maw, where it lay un- 
chewed and undigested, and whence being con- 
veyed into the pot, the flesh, and the thief that 
had Stolen it, joined together in furnishing va- 
riety to the ship's crew. 

During this calm we likewise found the maSt 
of a large vessel, which the captain had thought 


had lain at leaSl three years in the sea. It was 
Stuck all over with a little shell-fish or reptile 
called a barnacle, and which probably are the 
prey of the rock-fish, as our captain calls it, as- 
serting that it is the fineSl fish in the world ; for 
which we are obliged to confide entirely in his 
taSle ; for, though he Struck the fish with a kind 
of harping iron, and wounded him, I am con- 
vinced, to death, yet he could not possess him- 
self of his body ; but the poor wretch escaped 
to linger out a few hours, with probably great 

In the evening our wind returned, and so 
briskly, that we ran upwards of twenty leagues 
before the ney^tddiy' s[Tuesday'sl^ Observation, 
which brought us to lat. 47°. 42'. The captain 
promised us avery speedy passage through the 
bay ; but he deceived us, or the v^nd deceived 
him, for it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce 
carried us a mile in an hour during the whole 
succeeding night. 

§ Wednesday. A gale Struck up a little after 
sun-rising, which carried us between three or 
four knots or miles an hour. We were this day 
at noon about the middle of the bay of Biscay, 
when the wind once more deserted us, and we 

C 199 -} 


were so entirely becalmed, that we did not ad- 
vance a mile in many hours. My fresh- water 
reader will perhaps conceive no unpleasant idea 
from this calm ; but it afFe6led us much more 
than a §lorm could have done ; for as the irasci- 
ble passions of men are apt to swell with indig- 
nation long after the injury which fir§l raised 
them is over, so fared it with the sea. It rose 
mountains high, and lifted our poor ship up and 
down, backwards and forwards, with so violent 
an emotion, that there was scarce a man in the 
ship better able to Stand than myself. Every 
utensil in our cabin rolled up and down, as we 
should have rolled ourselves, had not our chairs 
been faSl lashed to the floor. In this situation, 
with our tables likewise faSlened by ropes, the 
captain and myself took our meal with some 
difficulty, and swallowed a little of our broth, 
for we spilt much the greater part. The re- 
mainder of our dinner being an old lean, tame 
duck roaSled, I regretted but little the loss 
of, my teeth not being good enough to have 
chewed it. 

Our women, who began to creep out of their 
holes in the morning, retired again v^thin the 
cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of 

C 200 ] 


this day, in which my whole comfort was to find, 
by the captain's relation, that the swelling was 
sometimes much worse ; he did, indeed, take 
this occasion to be more communicative than 
ever, and informed me of such misadventures 
that had befallen him within forty-six years at 
sea, as might frighten a very bold spirit from 
undertaking even the shortest voyage. Were 
these indeed but universally knovm, our ma- 
trons of quality would possibly be deterred from 
venturing their tender offspring at sea; by 
which means our navy would lose the honour 
of many a young commodore, who at twenty- 
two is better versed in maritime affairs than real 
seamen are made by experience at sixty. 

And this may, perhaps, appear the more ex- 
traordinary, as the education of both seems to 
be pretty much the same ; neither of them hav- 
ing had their courage tried by VirgiPs descrip- 
tion of a storm, in which, inspired as he was, 
I doubt whether our captain doth not exceed 

In the evening the wind, which continued in 
the N. W., again freshened, and that so briskly 
that cape FiniSlerre appeared by this day's ob- 
servation to bear a few miles to the southward. 
[ 201 ] 


We now indeed sailed, or rather flew, near ten 
knots an hour ; and the captain, in the redun- 
dancy of his good humour, declared he would 
goto church at Lisbon on Sunday next, for that 
he was sure of a wind ; and indeed we all firmly 
believed him. But the event again contradi6led 
him : for we were again visited by a calm in the 

But here, tho' our voyage was retarded, we 
were entertained with a scene which as no one 
can behold without going to sea, so no one can 
form an idea of any thing equal to it on shore. 
We were seated on the deck, women and all, 
in the sereneSl evening that can be imagined. 
Not a single cloud presented itself to our view, 
and the sun himself was the only objeft which 
engrossed our whole attention. He did indeed 
set with amajeSly which is incapable of descrip- 
tion, with which, while the horizon was yet 
blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to 
the opposite part to survey the moon, which 
was then at full, and which in rising presented 
us wdth the second objeft that this world hath 
offered to our vision. Compared to these the 
pageantry of theatres, or splendor of courts, 
are sights almoSl below the regard of children. 


We did not return from the deck till late in 
the evening: the weather being inexpressibly 
pleasant, and so warm, that even my old dis- 
temper perceived the alteration of the climate. 
There was indeed a swell, but nothing com- 
parable to what we had felt before, and it af- 
fe6led us on the deck much less than in the 

§ Friday. The calm continued till sunrising, 
when the wind likewise arose ; but, unluckily 
for us, it came from a wrong quarter : it was 
S. S. E., which is that very wind which Juno 
would have solicited of iEolus, had iEneas been 
in our latitude bound for Lisbon. 

The captain now put on his mo§l melancholy 
aspeft, and resumed his former opinion, that 
he was bewitched. He declared, with great 
solemnity, that this was worse and worse, for 
that a wind direftly in his teeth was worse than 
no wind at all. Had we pursued the course 
which the wind persuaded us to take, we had 
gone direftly for Newfoundland, if we had not 
fallen in with Ireland in our way. Two ways 
remained to avoid this ; one was to put into a 
port of Galicia; the other, to beat to the weSl- 

[ 203 :i 


ward with as little sail as possible ; and this was 
our captain's election. 

As for us, poor passengers, any port would 
have been welcome to us ; especially as not only 
our fresh provisions, except a great number of 
old ducks and fowls, but even our bread was 
come to an end, and nothing but sea biscuit re- 
mained, which I could not chew. So that now, 
for the fir§l time in my Ufe, I saw what it was 
to want a bit of bread. 

The wind, however, was not so unkind as we 
had apprehended; but having declined with the 
sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, and 
became again favourable to us ; tho' so gentle, 
that the next day's observation carried us very 
little to the southward of cape Fini§lerre. This 
evening at six the wind, which had been very 
quiet all day, rose very high, and continuing in 
our favour, drove us seven knots an hour. 

This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I 
heard of, we had seen in our whole passage 
through the bay. I mention this on account of 
what appeared to me somewhat extraordinary. 
Tho' she was at such a distance that I could only 
perceive she was a ship, the sailors discovered 
she was a snow bound to a port in Galicia. 

I 204 J 


§ Sunday. After prayers, which our good cap- 
tain read on the deck with an audible voice, and 
with but one mistake, of a Hon for Elias, in the 
second lesson for this day, we found ourselves 
farad vanced in 42°, and the captain declared we 
should sup off Porte. We had not much wind 
this day ; but, as this was direftly in our favour, 
we made it up with sail, of which we crowded 
all we had. We went only at the rate of four 
miles an hour, but with so uneasy a motion, 
continually rolling from side to side, that I suf- 
fered more than I had done in our whole voy- 
age; my bowels being almoSl twilled out of 
my belly. However, the day was very serene 
and bright, and the captain, who was in high 
spirits, affirmed he had never passed a plea- 
santer at sea. 

The wind continued so brisk that we ran up- 
ward of six knots an hour the whole night. 
§ Monday, In the morning, our captain con- 
cluded that he was got intolat. 40°, and was very 
little short of the Burlings, as they are called 
in the charts. We came up with them at five 
in the afternoon, being the firSl land we had 
di§lin6lly seen since we left Devonshire. They 
consist of abundance of little rocky islands, a 


little distant from the shore, three of them only- 
shewing themselves above the water. 

Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of gar- 
rison, if we may allow it that name. It consists 
of malefaftors, who are banished hither for a 
term, for divers small offences. A policy which 
they may have copied from the Egyptians, as 
we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wdse 
people, to prevent the corruption of good man- 
ners by evil communication, built a town on 
the Red Sea, whither they transported a great 
number of their criminals, having firSl set an 
indelible mark on them, to prevent their re- 
turning and mixing with the sober part of their 

These rocks lie about fifteen leagues north- 
we§lofcapeRoxent;or,asitis commonly called, 
the rock of Lisbon ; which we pa§l early the 
next morning. The wind, indeed, would have 
carried us thither sooner ; but the captain was 
not in a hurry as he was to lose nothing by his 

§ Tuesday, This is a very high mountain, sit- 
uated on the northern side of the mouth of the 
river Tajo, which rising above Madrid, in Spain, 
and soon becoming navigable for small craft, 
C 206 -] 


empties itself, after a long course, into the sea, 
about four leagues below Lisbon. 

On the summit of the rock Stands a hermit- 
age, which is now in the possession of an Eng- 
lishman, who was formerly master of a vessel 
trading to Lisbon ; and, having changed his re- 
ligion and his manners, the latter of which, at 
lea§l, were none of the be§l, betook himself to 
this place, in order to do penance for his sins. 
He is now very old, and hath inhabited this her- 
mitage for a great number of years, during 
which he hath received some countenance from 
the royal family ; and particularly from the late 
queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trou- 
ble or expence by which she may make a pro- 
selyte ; being used to say, that the saving one 
soul would repay all the endeavours of her life. 

Here we waited for the tide, and had the 
pleasure of surveying the face of the country, 
the soil of which, at this season, exaftly resem- 
bles an old brick kiln, or a field where the green- 
sward is pared up and set a-burning or rather 
a-smoaking, in little heaps, to manure the land. 
This sight will, perhaps,of all others, make an 
Englishman proud of and pleased with his own 
country, which in verdure excels, I believe. 


every other country. Another deficiency here, 
is, the wantof large trees, nothing above a shrub 
being here to be discovered in the circumfer- 
ence of many miles. 

At this place we took a pilot on board, who, 
being the fir§l Portuguese we spoke to, gave 
us an instance of that religious observance 
which is paid by all nations to their laws : for, 
whereas it is here a capital offence to assist any 
person in going on shore from a foreign vessel, 
before it hath been examined, and every per- 
son in it viewed by the magistrates of health, 
as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a very 
small reward, rowed the Portuguese prieSl to 
shore at this place, beyond which he did not 
dare to advance ; and, in venturing whither he 
had given sufficient testimony of love for his 
native country. 

We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when 
after passingseveral old caSlles, and other build- 
ings, which had greatly the aspe6l of ruins, we 
came to the caStle of BeUisle, where we had a 
fuUprospeftof Lisbon, and were indeed within 
three miles of it. 

Here we were saluted with a gun, which was 

C 208 ;] 


a signal to pass no farther, till we had complied 
with certain ceremonies, which the laws of this 
country require to be observed by all ships 
which arrive in this port. We were obliged then 
to caSl anchor, and expe6l the arrival of the 
officers of the customs, without whose passport 
no ship mu§l proceed farther than this place. 
Here likewise we received a visit from one of 
those magistrates of health before-mentioned. 
He refused to come on board the ship, till every 
person in her had been drawn up on deck, and 
personally viewed by him. This occasioned 
some delay on my part, as it was not the work 
of a minute to lift me from the cabin to the deck. 
The captain thought my particular case might 
have been excused from this ceremony ; and 
that it would be abundantly sufficient if the 
magistrate, who was obliged afterwards to visit 
the cabin, surveyed me there. But this did not 
satisfy the magistrate's §tri6t regard to his duty. 
When he was told of my lameness, he called 
out with a voice of authority, " Let him be 
brought up,'' and his orders were presently 
complied with. He was indeed a person of great 
dignity, as well as of moSt exa6t fidelity in the 

I 209 ] 


discharge of his truSl. Both which are the 
more admirable, as his salary is less than ^30 
English per annum. 

Before a ship hath been visited by one of 
those magistrates, no person can lawfully go on 
board her ; nor can any on board depart from 
her. This I saw exemplified in a remarkable 
instance. The young lad, whom I have men- 
tioned as one of our passengers, was here met 
by his father, who, on the firSl news of the cap- 
tain's arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle in 
a boat, being eager to embrace a son whom he 
had not seen for many years. But when he came 
along-side our ship, neither did the father dare 
ascend, nor the son descend, as the magistrate 
of health had not been yet on board. 

Some of my readers will, perhaps, admire 
the great caution of this policy, so nicely cal- 
culated forthe preservation of this country from 
all pestilential distempers . Others will as prob- 
ably regard it as too exa6t and formal to be con- 
stantly persisted in, in seasons of the utmoSt 
safety, as well as in times of danger. I will not 
decide either way ; but will content myself with 
observing, that I never yet saw or heard of a 
place where a traveller had so much trouble 

C 210 ] 


given him at his landing as herCo The only use 
of which, as all such matters begin and end in 
form only, is to put it into the power of low and 
mean fellows to be either rudely officious, or 
grossly corrupt, as they shall see occasion to 
prefer the gratification of their pride or of their 

Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is 
lodged with other officers here, of taking away 
every grain of snufF, and every leaf of tobacco, 
brought hither from other countries, tho' only 
for the temporary use of the person, during his 
residence here. This is executed with great 
insolence, and as it is in the hands of the dregs 
of the people, very scandalously : for, under 
pretence of searching for tobacco and snuff, 
they are sure to §leal whatever they can find, 
insomuch that when they came on board, our 
sailors addressed us in the Covent-Garden lan- 
guage, '' Pray, gentlemen and ladies, take care 
of your swords and watches." Indeed I never 
yet saw any thing equal to the contempt and 
hatred which our honeSl tars every moment ex- 
press'd for these Portuguese officers. 

At Bellisle lies buried Catherine of Arragon, 
widow of Price Arthur, eldeSl son of our Henry 

VII., afterwards married to, and divorced from, 
Henry VIII. Close by the church where her 
remains are deposited, is a large convent of 
Geronymites, one of the mo5l beautiful piles 
of building in all Portugal. 

In the evening at twelve, our ship having re- 
ceived previous visits from all the necessary 
parties, took the advantage of the tide, and hav- 
ing sailed up to Lisbon, caSl anchor there, in a 
calm, and a moonshiny night, which made the 
passage incredibly pleasant to the women, who 
remained three hours enjoying it, whilst I was 
left to the cooler transports of enjoying their 
pleasures at second-hand ; and yet, cooler as 
they may be, whoever is totally ignorant of such 
sensation, is, at the same time, void of all ideas 
of friendship. 

§ Wednesday, Lisbon, before which we now 
lay at anchor, is said to be built on the same 
number of hills with old Rome ; but these do 
not all appear to the water ; on the contrary, 
one sees from thence one va§l high hill and 
rock, with buildings arising above one another, 
and that in so §leep and almoSl perpendicular 
a manner, that they all seem to have but one 

[ 212 ] 


As the houses, convents, churches, &c. are 
large, and all built with white Slone, they look 
very beautiful at a distance ; but as you ap- 
proach nearer, and find them to want every kind 
of ornament, all idea of beauty vanishes at once. 
While I was surveying the prospe6tof this city, 
which bears so little resemblance to any other 
that I have ever seen, a refle6lion occurred to 
me, that if a man was suddenly to be removed 
from Palmyra hither, and should take a view of 
no other city, in how glorious a light would the 
antient archite6lure appear to him ? and what 
desolation and deSlru6lion of arts and sciences 
would he conclude had happened between the 
several aeras of these cities ? 

I had now waited full three hours upon deck, 
for the return of my man, whom I had sent to 
bespeak a good dinner ( a thing which had been 
long unknown to me) on shore, and then to 
bring a Lisbon chaise v^th him to the sea-shore ; 
but, it seems, the impertinence of the providore 
was not yet brought to a conclusion. At three 
o'clock, when I was from emptiness rather faint 
than hungry, my man returned, and told me, 
there was a new law lately made, that no pas- 
senger should set his foot on shore without a 


special order from the providore ; and that he 
himself would have been sent to prison for dis- 
obeying it, had he not been prote6led as the 
servant of the captain. He informed me like- 
wise, that the captain had been very industrious 
to get this order, but that it was then the pro- 
vidore's hour of sleep, a time when no man, 
except the king himself, dur§l disturb him. 

To avoid prolixity, tho' in apart of my nar- 
rative which may be more agreeable to my 
reader than it was to me, the providore having 
at la§l finished his nap, dispatched this absurd 
matter of form, and gave me leave to come, or 
rather to be carried, on shore. 

What it was that gave the firSl hint of this 
Strange law is not easy to guess. Possibly, in 
the infancy of their defeftion, and before their 
government could be well established, they 
were willing to guard againSt the bare possi- 
bility of surprize, of the success of which bare 
possibility the Trojan horse will remain for ever 
on record, as a great and memorable example. 
Now the Portuguese have no walls to secure 
them, and a vessel of two or three hundred tons 
will contain a much larger body of troops than 
could be concealed in that famous machine, tho' 


Virgil tells us (somewhat hyperbolically, I be- 
lieve) that it was as big as a mountain. 

About seven in the evening I got into a chaise 
on shore, and was driven through the naSlieSl 
city in the world, tho' at the same time one of 
the mo§l populous, to a kind of coffee-house, 
which is very pleasantly situated on the brow 
of a hill, about a mile from the city, and hath a 
very fine prospeft of the river Tajo from Lis- 
bon to the sea. 

Here we regaled ourselves with a good sup- 
per, for which we were as well charged, as if 
the bill had been made on the Bath road, be- 
tween Newbury and London. 

And now we could joyfully say, 

"Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena." 

Therefore in the words of Horace, 

*' hie finis chartaeque viaeque." 

I 215 3 

JVb. /7^ of 

Three hundred copies printed at 

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